2nd date at her place and I didn't make a move =[

shyyguy123

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So I just had a 2nd date with this girl, at her place. We played a board game or two then just watched TV.

I froze up and didn't make a move all night. Left without even trying to kiss her.

I've had issues with being too passive in the past, but I've been good at making moves on women the past year or two. I reverted back to my old problems tonight apparently. I just never felt like I had a good opening, and was too nervous to be overly aggressive.

Any way I can salvage this? Just hope she wants to hang out again and then make a move fairly quickly?
 

Hoss

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Give her a call, try for another date, take her somewhere nice, and plant a kiss on her then. Getting cold feet is fairly common for a lot of guys so you still have a chance and if she didn't push herself at you, it might indicate she likes going slow as well.
Best of luck in getting another chance.
 

dcsurvivor92

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Everyone gets nervous at some point. If you like her and want to see her again, be honest with her. She might be asking you for that third date.
 

Jillang

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Send her a text and tell her you wish you had been more bold. See what she says.

There is nothing wrong with texting her and letting her know that you wanted to kiss her. It would be sweet and I'm sure she would appreciate it. It would be the best of both worlds, you weren't too aggressive but you are making it known what you want. Good luck.
 

Call_Me_Daddy

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I always hated pouncing on a chick for the first time at her place.

I always figured if I pushed the limits and made her uncomfortable she had no where to go, where if it was my place she was free to leave.

Maybe you need to learn how to flirt in a way that opens the door for what you want to do, but also gives you an out if the other party doesn't seem interested.
 

interestedchap

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If she's a girl with values (I beleive a "rebel" nowadays) then she'll actually apprecaite you not trying to "make a move" on her so soon. So you may see that next date she may now be the one initiating the moves...Happened to me at least.
 

Serial Kisser

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Why not? Seems like a good idea to thank her for a great evening and tell her you wish you had have kissed her.

Why would that be so bad?

Because, girls like to be kissed. We don't like to be asked if we want to be kissed. If I got a text from a guy I would assume he has low self esteem or not enough confidence to kiss me and that would be a huge turn off.
 

VerpaIngens

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Why not? Seems like a good idea to thank her for a great evening and tell her you wish you had have kissed her.

Why would that be so bad?

Some could interpret that message as weakness. As in: he didn't have the balls to make a move, although he wanted to, but once he can send a message from a save distance, he found his balls again.
But it could turn out great as well. No way in knowing.

Always remember: seducing men is a 5 page manual, seducing women is a whole library of manuals.

So don't try something that doesn't suit you, you won't like it, and there is no way of knowing if she will like it.

The way I see it is this: dangle your hook here and there, only the fish that likes your bait will bite. Then it's up to you to decide if you want to throw her back, or... gut her and cook her :wink:

And maybe some more practical advice: Alcohol!!!
Alcohol is the lubricant of the social machine.
No need in getting drunk, just the right amount that doesn't impair your intelligence, but gives you that extra touch of boldness.
 

VerpaIngens

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Because, girls like to be kissed. We don't like to be asked if we want to be kissed. If I got a text from a guy I would assume he has low self esteem or not enough confidence to kiss me and that would be a huge turn off.

Ah well, I was just writing my response while you did. That proves my point actually. Two women commented, two have opposite views on the same matter....

In any case, I wouldn't disclose anything about what you would have wanted to do. Mystery is exciting, less information = more mystery. And if she likes you in a romantic way, she will fill in the gaps the way she would like it to be.
Makes sense?
 

NCGUY1972

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I was never a great talker so I always went for it first date and then I figured we would get to know each other.

If she is into you and had a good time you should be fine. If you wait too long she will either figure you want to be friends or make the first move herself. I personally like the girls that make the first move I call them "Attackers" Nice to see a woman that can say thats what I want and im gonna take it sometiimes.

If you want to make the move just do it. She will either accept it or decline it but the risk is always worth it.

I agree with serial kisser on this one.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Just keep in mind, some ladies are flattered by a guy who doesn't just jump straight to the physical. It was only date #2. Don't stress. Just give her a call, tell her you had a lot of fun and have been thinking about her.. then ask if she wants to get together again. If you guys make a 3rd date, give her a kiss this time.

I also agree with Jillang here. I think it'd be sweet to send her a lil text saying "I kinda regret not kissing you the other night :)"
 
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KTF40

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Unless you're a complete awko taco with no social skills, this situation should be salvageable.

First, get her to go out with you again. Most likely call her or text her (depending on the context of your relationship and previous communication) and tell her you want to see her again. If she still has any interest, she will agree to go out with you again. If she doesn't want to go out, then you're out of luck.

Secondly, if you can get her to go out with you be honest. Ask her straight up during the date if she expected you to make a move. Maybe she will say yes or maybe she will say no. Either way, expand upon her response by being honest telling her you're not good at initiating things, but you're extremely attracted to her (use the words "extremely attracted", bitches love that shit) and do want to kiss her (fuck her if you feel so inclined). That way she knows you want her and bitches love being wanted and desired so it should all work out.

That scenario I presented in the above paragraph happened to me exactly as I stated and I went on to fuck the girl. Be honest, tell her how you feel and don't pretend to be someone you're not.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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(use the words "extremely attracted", bitches love that shit) and do want to kiss her (fuck her if you feel so inclined). That way she knows you want her and bitches love being wanted and desired so it should all work out.

"Imma send that bitch a smiley face... Bitches love smiley faces!"

:laugh2:
 

nicenycdick

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Here's what I'd do:

Text her. Tell her you had a great night at her place and now you want to reciprocate. Invite her to dinner at your place...and cook for her. If you can't really cook, make it something simple. Mix a drink...get comfortable. Dim the lights...have a light meal. Then sit at the couch to watch a movie or play a board game...and make a move. Not too pushy...but if she's at your house, she is expecting something. Take it from there.

Or just ask her out...and when you see her, give a sweet kiss on the lips...tell her that you've been thinking of her lips since your last date and you just had to do it! Her reaction will tell you how the rest of the evening will unfold.

I could come up with 10 more...

Just make it easy, fun and natural. The worst that could happen is that she is not into you...which, considering she invited you to her place and is now seeing you a 3rd time, is unlikely.

Good luck.
 

Carpe_Diem420

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Because, girls like to be kissed. We don't like to be asked if we want to be kissed. If I got a text from a guy I would assume he has low self esteem or not enough confidence to kiss me and that would be a huge turn off.

Exactly

OP, what you should do is ignore this girl for a couple days, don't let her think you're going to ask her on a date after your date is complete. Just say "I had a nice time", keeping things open will let her mind race and build anticipation/attraction. Texting a girl you haven't even kissed yet saying something goofy like "uhhh i wish i could have kissed you durr :frown1:" makes you look like a soft goober who hasn't got laid since the Reagan administration. Which will lead to more head games. Start talking and dating other girls while you're at it. When you have more options you will start acting a certain way that comes off as you don't "need" her because you have options. This is more attractive, she will then feel the need to impress you or make you stand out from the other girls. Then before you know it the tables will be turn and she will be jumping all over you. The problem you have is you're investing all your time in a girl who isn't really that attracted to you.

Build that attraction.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Exactly

OP, what you should do is ignore this girl for a couple days, don't let her think you're going to ask her on a date after your date is complete. Just say "I had a nice time", keeping things open will let her mind race and build anticipation/attraction. Texting a girl you haven't even kissed yet saying something goofy like "uhhh i wish i could have kissed you durr :frown1:" makes you look like a soft goober who hasn't got laid since the Reagan administration. Which will lead to more head games. Start talking and dating other girls while you're at it. When you have more options you will start acting a certain way that comes off as you don't "need" her because you have options. This is more attractive, she will then feel the need to impress you or make you stand out from the other girls. Then before you know it the tables will be turn and she will be jumping all over you. The problem you have is you're investing all your time in a girl who isn't really that attracted to you.

Buld that attraction

If I'm 'dating' a guy.. not just hooking up.. and I find out he's playing the field.. I may not be angry, but I wouldn't be happy about it. I don't find it more attractive when a guy just acts like he doesn't need me, I want to feel pursued and wanted. It's nice for a guy to try to impress me once in awhile ya know. Not all women are turned on by being the 'chosen one'. Some of us like to choose ourselves.

Also, you say you're avoiding leading to more head games... what you described right after.. is itself a head game.


We don't know this girl. At all... and we don't know how she feels about him, she is not here telling us her pov. I wouldn't think it was goofy for a guy to send that text. I would be sad if I didn't even hear from the guy for days after the date. I wouldn't feel 'anticipation' I'd feel annoyed. It's possible she'd feel the way you describe, it's also possible she'd feel more like I do about his situation.

Your way, may work. It may not. I think we need to know more about the lovely lady before we can know for sure what to do. She may be really flirty and outgoing, more accepting of a casual dating situation. She may also be more shy, quiet.. maybe looking for a special guy to be with.
 
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strm4smartf

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A big part of your issue is that you're too self-conscious about the matter, then and now, but I think we all know that feeling.

Don't think of it as a big deal, either making a move or not having made a move when you kind of wanted to.

Think of it and about yourself this way:

I'm a little shy about taking things to a physical level, but that's how I am. It's fine to be like that, trying to be any other way wouldn't be me just being myself, and no good comes of not being genuine. I didn't screw anything up, I didn't miss an opportunity. I was just being consistent with who I am, and she probably recognizes that I'm a little shy about this stuff in general, so she's probably not surprised that I didn't go for a kiss. She didn't set a timer to judge how interested in I am in her, or how interested she is in me, or about how manly I am, based on how long it takes me to make a physical move. Nothing lost.

I wouldn't text her and say you regret not kissing her or referring to it at all; that's making a big deal about it when it isn't one. Make a specific plan for something to do that she'd like, ask her to go with you, and then take it from there. You could do something like this: At some point when you have some privacy if you're feeling interested and want to express it, look her straight in the eye and say something like, "You know, there's one thing I've been wanting to bring up/to do" then go for a kiss. You can tell her how much you wanted to do that up until then as you express your attraction to her, etc.

Don't fixate on it so much.