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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by _avg_, Mar 16, 2008.
Because I have pretty much resigned myself to being sexless and alone until I die.
I met this girl named "Kirsten"... I might be able to hook you two up.
There is always hope...
How depressing! Is it that bad out there for singles?
I am 40+ and about to be single again so I won't have any hope?
Somebody shoot me now!
Like they say, you're never in that one great relationship of your life ... until you are.
Well, you are not alone. I know plenty of people who are newly single.
I think that it is bad because people are so sophisticated and temperamental about relationships. They want this kind of guy and if you don't have the bells and whistles--then you are given your walking papers. It is sad...but people want who they want and are relentlessly uncompromising.
If you do find a person, be lucky for the times you have with each other. Be happy. If you aren't happy--move on.
I have a friend and she's recently divorced and in her mid 50's. Her problem is that all the good looking sane guys are married, and the resulting pool of men are the left overs. Her attempts to date from online sources has been pretty bad. One man used an old picture of himself, and when he showed up she said ""It could have been my grandfather."
As for being 30+, I did that, and was careful in my selection and think I've done well. 23 years later...
I also know a few people who are over 30 and single. My best friend is 41, and he's single and lovin it!! it's just a question of finding the right person. It was kinda creepy, a LOT of my friends from college all got married in 2001, around age 28. Including 3 of my core group of friends, who all got engaged within 2 months of each other, as if there was some sort of pressure within the circle of friends to get hitched. It was almost as if one couple got word of another couple getting engaged, and this "inspired" them (not sure if this is the CORRECT word) to do the same. I've heard many cases of this happening, and I wonder about the whole validity of this. If you feel it's your time, then it's your time; don't let the pressure of other friends getting ready to tie the knot pressure you to do the same. I'm 34, under NO pressure whatsoever to pop the question to my girlfriend, I'm just going at my own pace, and you should do the same. Not everyone finds the ideal person early on, sometimes it takes a while, it varies from person to person. My point - don't worry about being single well into your 30s; finding the right person a few years down the road is FAR better than getting hitched to someone you're not entirely sure about earlier in life because of the false notion that we *need* to find the ideal mate between the ages of 24 and 30. We see so many internet sites and ads for "Painfully single? Find your ideal mate!!" and crap like that, because of the crazy idea that being single is bad, which to me, is totally false.
Yes, the dating scene is pretty bad out there. Lots of players on both sides of the fence. Been divorced for almost two years but still hopeful I'll find that "true love".
So are we to take it you're a virgin? Or just single?
All i can say is that there are SOOOO many people in the world, there are lots of people out there who would love to be with you.
You look like a nice looking guy with a nice cock, i'm sure there are lots of girls who would love to hang out and get to know you. Try looking online. Thats what i did after not having any luck and i couldn't be happier 3 years later.
I'm in NW Phx, single, over 30 (ok, over 45) and sexless too.
Very well said Invisible!!!
with that wonderful cock of urs it's a sin for you to be single!
Now, it's not wrong to be single, but it is bad to be alone. And I mean *alone*...no girlfriends, the odd date now and again, and female telemarketers.
A fair point, but the sooner the better, I think...
In my experience, it's bad. But I think that the situation is different for single women, especially those without children.
Do you not enjoy playing the field? You can do that at any age, and you're still really young anyhow. If I were you I'd just try to enjoy the freedom, the not-having-to-answer-to-anyone. I miss that from my single days - going out wherever I want to, watching shitty films til 4am if I feel like it, etc. Small liberties, but ones that are important to a lot of men. In addition, I have the feeling that once you stop looking, it'll happen for you, that's how it always goes. People are always more attracted to the guy who isn't looking for anything.
Walking papers?! I haven't even gotten more than an interview or two...
This is another good point, though; those dating later on in life are very set-in-their-ways or quite specific in their tastes, and are often unwilling to compromise. That translates into less general interest and more up-front rejections, which is understandably demoralizing. I guess that's [a] source of my hopelessness...
Thanks for the success story and words of encouragement.
I'm worried that the giddy thrill of foreplay, that was so present in my teenage years, will be lost whenever it is that I may get another go at it. Tell me, could you (or can you) barely keep your hands off eachother, still? Do you still find yourselves wanting to get away for a quick romp in the broom closet at a party? Do you go to the drive-ins to actually watch a movie?
I'm petrified to think that I've missed my chance at all those things again...
Single. Though, since I've had sex oh....maybe two dozen times in the last ten years, I'm practically a born-again virgin. In fact, my "rustiness" has turned some off....oh, what a vicious circle!
I guess, though, I'm not just looking for "any body," I'm looking for "some body." What was I saying before about being specific?! Oh, what a sick sense of ironic humor life has....
I really should branch out more. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained," right? Thanks for the kind words.
Hey avg - are you sure about the 100% str8? Really nice!