30 harsh things to say to a naked man

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_Barbi_Queue, Feb 23, 2006.

  1. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2004
    Messages:
    2,283
    Likes Received:
    1
    30 HARSH THINGS TO SAY TO A NAKED MAN
    1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
    2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
    3. Why don't we just cuddle?
    4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
    5. Make it dance.
    6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
    7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
    8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
    9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
    10. Oh no... a flash headache.
    11. (giggle and point)
    12. Can I be honest with you?
    13. How sweet, you brought incense.
    14. This explains your car.
    15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
    16. Why is God punishing me?
    17. At least this won't take long.
    18. I never saw one like that before.
    19. But it still works, right?
    20. It looks so unused.
    21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
    22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
    23. Are you cold?
    24. If you get me real drunk first.....
    25. Is that an optical illusion?
    26. What is that?
    27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
    28. Does it come with an air pump?
    29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
    30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird'.
     
  2. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,730
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    That twinge in your intestines
    My entire body just froze solid. That's cold.
     
  3. avsfan69

    avsfan69 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    West Valley, UT
    Wow, thats harsh! haha, hurts my insides
     
  4. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    Your rubber just fell off.
     
  5. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2003
    Messages:
    28,018
    Likes Received:
    730
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the pain behind your eyes
    Three 2 letter words meaning tiny:"Is It In?":biggrin1: :tongue:
     
  6. packed_one

    packed_one New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Apparantly a guy at my old high school got the whole "is it in?" from a drunken girl at a party.

    Fuck knows why the idiot told anyone about it, thats just salt in the wound.
     
  7. root00

    root00 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2005
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore (MD, US)
    Or it could be one word R-U-N!!
     
  8. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    "I changed my mind, maybe we should wait!"
     
  9. Bryan_Lyte2

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,630
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CA, between Rosamond, and Palmdale
    31. Where's the rest of it.:cool:
     
  10. jonadkins

    jonadkins Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    92
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    32. That reminds me... we're running a bit low on button mushrooms.
     
  11. smallguy1

    smallguy1 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    lol, i've heard a couple of those before ! i got this girl real drunk once at a party and got her alone started makin out and when the pants came off she laughed and said , you gotta be kidding me i've choked on chicken bones bigger then that lol , true story
     
  12. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Man those are harsh....but sort of funny. I feel bad for the people that would actually have someone mean enough to say em though.

    smallguy, sounds like you should have kicked her in the face :smile:
     
  13. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    What a slut.
     
  14. smallguy1

    smallguy1 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    naw she was just drunk and besides its not the womans fault i have a tiny penis! and i don't hit women unless they like it, lol, i've heard worse
     
  15. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2003
    Messages:
    28,018
    Likes Received:
    730
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the pain behind your eyes
    33. "Well, that settles the question of whether or I love you for you mind or body." :yikes:
     
  16. lifewillkillyou

    lifewillkillyou New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2006
    Messages:
    102
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In hell
    I bet if you stuck it in her ass, she wouldn't have thought it was too small.:biggrin1:
     
  17. Hung Low in Thiva

    Hung Low in Thiva New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    35. Are you sure you're over 16?

    36. Maybe I should buy you underoos for X-Mas?
     
  18. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,458
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,556
    Location:
    United States
    I get paid to say mean things like this. Among my favorites:

    Is this the loaner they give you when yours is in the shop?

    What do you have to buy to get the rest of the set?

    You've been robbed. Was it insured?

    My mom never let us play with pea-shooters. She said we'd put an eye out.

    That's not a cock! It's a Cck. I see a begining, I see an end, but where's the boner in the middle?

    Of course, you know, some people have dicks, and everyone else is supposed to suck them.


    PLEASE NOTE: I don't believe any of those statements to actually apply to anyone. But I get a lot of requests for small dick humiliation.
     
  19. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    Wow. I guess it's true that (insert race) guys have little dicks.

    Can you lift up your belly, I can't see your dick.
     
  20. Webster

    Webster New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Truman Capote said that one time a fan of his whipped out his dick and asked Truman to autograph it.
    Truman's response was, "I don't think I can autograph it. But I could initial it."

    :eek: :wink:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted