30 year old guy, 16 year old girl

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by GoneA, Oct 20, 2005.

  1. GoneA

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    Yeah, when I was 15 I dated a 96 year old woman who "had black friends in New York". Coincidence?

    Anyway, you went from "being a badass..." to a "sentimental fuck" at such an inopportune time. I must say, you are between a rock and a hard place.
     
  2. hippyscum

    hippyscum New Member

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    How strange that you should say that; my next door neighbour (who's 18) went out with a 34 year old guy for the better part of a year, he even had 16 year old daughter; and when she eventually dumped him he actually did kill himself.

    Anyways to answer your question, I don't find it weird, but I'm Scottish and the legal age of consent here is 16... I do find it weird that he won't leave her alone, tell the guy to get a clue. I'm 18, and I've been getting stalked by a 30 year old woman for the last coupla months now, doing the same kind of things that you describe this guy as doing, and eventually it will begin to seriously piss her (and you) off.
     
  3. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    Almost all modern phones have a number barring option on them - get her to use it. If it doesn't then ring the network and get them to bar it

    Or does your girlfriend not mind enough to do that?
    If she doesn't mind his freakish behaviour then you need to get clear of her because she's showing signs that she likes to have a 'back up' available

    A little piece of advice though - If you act threatened then you strengthen his cause, you'll make yourself look weak. The best thing to do is ridicule him, if you patronise his messages and take the piss out of a sad older guy who has to chase teenagers for months because no one else would want him etc etc then she'll slowly start to subliminally come round to that way of thinking
    Sounds crazy but it does work, technically it's brainwashing and highly unethical but what the hell

    One other (more childish) thing you could do - Get hold of her phone and text him, say you've changed your number and give him yours instead. If he falls for the bait then arrange to meet up with him. He'll think he's going to get laid so he won't bring his "black friends from New York" (that cracks me up, do you think he told her that to impress her). And then you can beat him up all you like
     
  4. DC_DEEP

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    Not alone at all, something is seriously wrong here. Sounds like three people who desperately need some counseling.

    <!--QuoteBegin-Dorset
    @Oct 20 2005, 07:09 AM
    Almost all modern phones have a number barring option on them - get her to use it. If it doesn&#39;t then ring the network and get them to bar it

    Or does your girlfriend not mind enough to do that?
    If she doesn&#39;t mind his freakish behaviour then you need to get clear of her because she&#39;s showing signs that she likes to have a &#39;back up&#39; available

    A little piece of advice though - If you act threatened then you strengthen his cause, you&#39;ll make yourself look weak. The best thing to do is ridicule him, if you patronise his messages and take the piss out of a sad older guy who has to chase teenagers for months because no one else would want him etc etc then she&#39;ll slowly start to subliminally come round to that way of thinking
    Sounds crazy but it does work, technically it&#39;s brainwashing and highly unethical but what the hell

    One other (more childish) thing you could do - Get hold of her phone and text him, say you&#39;ve changed your number and give him yours instead. If he falls for the bait then arrange to meet up with him. He&#39;ll think he&#39;s going to get laid so he won&#39;t bring his "black friends from New York" (that cracks me up, do you think he told her that to impress her). And then you can beat him up all you like
    [post=353439]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]
    A couple of pieces of bad advice here. What you should do is break up with her, if you can&#39;t trust her. And get some help with your anger issues and with your need to be with a "slut."
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    So you&#39;re disgusted that she may have let a guy put a 30-year-old weenie in her. Would you be any less disgusted if the guy had been another 17-year-old?

    You won&#39;t want to hear this but you&#39;re demonstrating that you aren&#39;t yet emotionally mature enough for a sexual relationship. If you were emotionally mature you&#39;d:

    1. Ask her point blank if the guy&#39;s attention is bothering her.
    a. If yes, call the cops. Stalking is illegal.
    b. If no, not really, then pack your bags and run like hell.
     
  6. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    I&#39;d think why can&#39;t he get a girl his own age, or a WOMAN. A 16 year old is only a girl after all, and usually they don&#39;t have a clue about sex, or about what a guy is wanting...

    However, is a 19 year old guy and 32 year old girl (my dream :p) okay? I guess it is, but still seems a bit odd to some people I think. Or 16 year old guy and 30 year old woman? I just was wonderin if I had a double standard, since I do think a 30 year old guy and 16 year old girl is creppy. But I&#39;m all for older women :D
     
  7. DC_DEEP

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    If you want to hold double standards, that is your right - but anyone with intelligence will hold the same standards to either side. If the age difference bothers you, it should not matter whether the older party is a male or female.

    That&#39;s as bright as thinking two women together is hot, two men together is gross. Sorry, Knight, no disrespect intended - just my opinion that a real man or real woman will have standards, but they will be consistent.
     
  8. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    I realise that they should be equal standards and was just pointing out there is a double standard :)

    If it&#39;s creepy for a man then it&#39;s creepy for a woman to date a 16 year old. Just saying I, at 19 would not say no to a 30+ female ;)
     
  9. DC_DEEP

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    Oh, I agree. And I dare anyone to tell me that there is not much difference between a 16 year old and a 19 year old. The changes in maturity levels in those three short years nearly make &#39;em different species. (Don&#39;t freak, anyone, just a little hyperbole.)
     
  10. jonb

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    Simplest solution is to alert her parents. And what&#39;s the age of consent in your area?
     
  11. GoneA

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    In theory, one would be inclined to be disinclined to a 16 year young lady and a 30 year old man dating. The reverse of this should also be true, which is to say, a 16 year old young man dating a 30 year old woman. Fundamentally, society’s only means of ending such a disparity in relationships (that is, if a societal member feels it needs to be ended) exist mainly in the theatre of their minds; because, candidly, this form of dating is never going to end.
     
  12. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    In fairness to me, I did say that the first was unethical (though used by so many people) and the second childish&#33;
    The guy does have free will though so I gave him 2 options, it&#39;s up to him to decide if either is suitable for him

    As for breaking up with her, that&#39;s terrible advice to give someone, you&#39;ve only heard one side of the story and despite the girl having commited to apparent offence you&#39;re recommending ending a relationship?&#33;?

    I suggest you don&#39;t go sending your CV to Relate just yet&#33;&#33;&#33;
     
  13. DC_DEEP

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    As for breaking up with her, that&#39;s terrible advice to give someone, you&#39;ve only heard one side of the story and despite the girl having commited to apparent offence you&#39;re recommending ending a relationship?&#33;?

    I suggest you don&#39;t go sending your CV to Relate just yet&#33;&#33;&#33;
    [post=353818]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    ??? You advocate staying with someone you can&#39;t trust? Does not sound to me like the basis of a healthy relationship
     
  14. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    ??? You advocate staying with someone you can&#39;t trust? Does not sound to me like the basis of a healthy relationship
    [post=353844]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    It&#39;s not but who says the problem is with the girl? Maybe he has some issues to do with security, if he doesn&#39;t deal with them then he&#39;ll leave every relationship thoughout his life due to lack of trust. He might just need to ride this out

    All I think is that he needs to talk to her openly about it and trust will grow. By the sounds of what she&#39;s said she has taken all reasonable steps to stop contact and is now going to change her phone number

    It sounds like she probably can be trusted to me
     
  15. SomeGuyOverThere

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    If you are such an uncareing dickhead, I&#39;m more concerned she&#39;s going out with you than has been going out with a 30 year old guy.

    Perhaps he is trying to get through to her that you don&#39;t give a fuck for her. Perhaps he&#39;s worried about her.

    And if you really don&#39;t care about it as much as you are telling us, then why the hell did you tell us in the first place FFS?&#33;?
     
  16. BIG BOI J

    BIG BOI J New Member

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    Just because someone is black doesn&#39;t make them "badass". If all black people where badass we couldn&#39;t be each other up
     
  17. jonb

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    Where did he associate blackness with being badass?
     
  18. DC_DEEP

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    Probably in the penultimate paragraph, where he can&#39;t get any info because the guy is "crazy and has black friends in new york"... and if these black friends can beat up the self-admitted badass... well, I&#39;m just guessing...
     
  19. GoneA

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    People just do those sort of things. whatev.
     
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