32 Yr Old Virgin

brisboi1989

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So I'm a 32 yr old virgin (in literally every sense of the word); but not really by choice. I'm the first to admit that I am overweight (100kg), hairy and can be an introvert at times; but I have only ever had 1 date in my life and never even been kissed or done anything with a guy. I'm not beautiful, but I also don't think I'm ugly either...so I always question what is so wrong with me that I can't even get a simple date.

I've been on dating sites and apps for years now. I am upfront on my profiles and state that I'm a total virgin; and I'm wondering if this is such a red flag now that it drives guys away. Does telling guys that I'm a virgin make them wonder the same thing I do; what is wrong with me? Or are guys just so shallow now in a world of social media that anyone that isn't a hot jock or something, can't even get a date?

What I ask is that anyone who was in a similar situation give me advice on how to get over this hurdle please.
 

cnkckfil

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Actually I think being a virgin is a big turn on in allot of ways. I do wonder what you look like, would you post a picture. Yes gay men are extremely shallow but not all. I don't mind a bigger guy myself, I like that actually. I like all types of men though body wise.

If you want to hook up or what ever you are looking for just be upfront and let that be the first thing you say or better yet put that in your profile/head line with a picture. A headline like virgin want to swallow a load or breed my virgin hole now, will get you allot of attention.

Hugs, tugs and rubs.
 

Brodie888

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The more niche your look is, the more effort you need to make to find people who are in to you. But I assure you that there are people out there for every gay variant.

There are plenty of bear parties, bear clubs and bear dating apps. I assume you have tried those?

I would suggest focusing on making as many gay friends as possible and in time out of these friendships may come something more or they may know someone who is looking for someone just like you.

One skill to learn when meeting someone new, be they a potential lover or a new friend, is to gradually feed people that information as your relationship develops rather than being too open right from the start.

Small bites allow people to process what you are revealing. If you go too heavy too early then you are likely to scare them away when they may have come to accept those things about you if they had gotten to know you first.

So in summary, don't tell people you don't get many dates, are a virgin, introverted etc etc. Let them like who you are as a person, let them see who you are and let them come to their own conclusion.

If you are about to have sex, I'd say you are better to tell them to go slow, you haven't had a lot of experience with guys. I wouldn't recommend anal bottoming on your first rodeo. Cross that bridge later when you have more experience.

I think for most gay guys, being a late bloomer raises too many questions and would be something better to tell them when you are on really good terms.
 
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deleted1074483

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firstly mate, your situation isn't that uncommon - there are many threads on this site of guys older and younger than you asking the same question - so the first thing I'd say to you is accept who you are and your situation and don't in anyway at all think of yourself as anything other than 'normal' (and hoping that this is a non sequiter anyway).

Then i agree with both @cnkckfil and @Brodie888 be upfront on any dating app about yourself and what you want but learn that there are ways of saying things that aren't lies but that do sell your attributes. don't say you're overweight, say you're a bear - just never say negative stuff about yourself on a profile or put yourself down in anyway.

As a virgin do put that you'd like to take things slower and experiment with other guys hopefully leading to anal (or something like that).

But as @Brodie888 says, also find other routes to meet people - what interests do you have? there are groups and clubs out there that cater for most interests and specifically for gay guys too (meetup for example) where you can let people to get to know the 'you' and let things develop from there.

you have to put yourself out there somehow though if you want to find a person for sex or longer term relationship, and that can be difficult, scary etc but its honestly not as bad as you'll think it will be. Don't overthink things and just go for it. Good luck
 
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tito21

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So I'm a 32 yr old virgin (in literally every sense of the word); but not really by choice. I'm the first to admit that I am overweight (100kg), hairy and can be an introvert at times; but I have only ever had 1 date in my life and never even been kissed or done anything with a guy. I'm not beautiful, but I also don't think I'm ugly either...so I always question what is so wrong with me that I can't even get a simple date.

I've been on dating sites and apps for years now. I am upfront on my profiles and state that I'm a total virgin; and I'm wondering if this is such a red flag now that it drives guys away. Does telling guys that I'm a virgin make them wonder the same thing I do; what is wrong with me? Or are guys just so shallow now in a world of social media that anyone that isn't a hot jock or something, can't even get a date?

What I ask is that anyone who was in a similar situation give me advice on how to get over this hurdle please.

I hate to break it to ya Sugar! Being a virgin doesn’t stop thirsty ass men from wanting sex with you. Heck, some gay men might even think you’re a prize for being ‘pristine’ and haven’t been used like the old town public toilet down the block.

You’re 32 and is a grown man, so I’m not gonna sugar coat what i’m going to say. I swear, i’m not doing the sugar puns on purpose!

I don’t know how tall you are but you need to drop the weight if you want to make yourself more appealing to potential dates. Unless you’re 7’4, we shouldn’t be heavier than a polar bear. Being a land whale myself + born in the age of dinosaurs, I have given up on love/dating/sex life. Though I’m still living in hope that some sexy men with poor eyesights will come my way one of these days, I’m not holding my breathe.

You’re still young, at 32, you should be at the fittest you’ll ever be and put yourself out there. At your age, it’s still easy for you to drop the pounds.
When you’re old or have trapped yourself a man, then you can let yourself balloon up, assuming your man doesn’t mind you eating for 3 in a buffet.

Get yourself some self discipline and start getting fit! It’ll be the best thing you’ll do for your health + appearance. Then you’ll have men hitting you up left and right - that you don’t even know who your mother is anymore.
 
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chrisrobin

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Firstly you have to become more positive about yourself, don't go out thinking it's going to fail.
If you feel overweight then solve that problem but certainly out there with a bit of effort you'll find like-minded souls.
Yep be upfront about your sexual statute of being a virgin, fuck dude, that's turn on for some guys who could "train" you, take you in hand. I was half your age when I had a mentor and thanks to him I have a very rounded sex life, and even if not in the first flush of youth I find there are guys who want to fuck/suck and get fucked by a guy with grey hairs and a few wrinkles.
Like most things in life don't expect it all to come to you, don't sit fiddling with fingers on a keyboard, get out and find places and you'll find yourself being sexually fulfilled in no time.
 
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