40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by chesz001, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. chesz001

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Messages:
    250
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Manila
    Verified:
    Photo
    I just saw this in another site..what do you think?
    .............
    1) NOT KISSING FIRST
    Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the
    erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by
    the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
    cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is
    the Ultimate form of foreplay.

    2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR
    Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this.
    Well, there's a difference between being erotic and
    blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles
    on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

    3) NOT SHAVING
    You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your
    chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's
    face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to
    side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

    4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST
    Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for
    ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke,
    caress, and smooth them.

    5) BITING HER NIPPLES
    Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp
    down like they're trying to deflate her body via her
    breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't
    stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently.
    Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending
    they're a dogie toy isn't.

    6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES
    Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples
    between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a
    radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole
    breasts, not just the exclamation points.

    7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY
    A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs:
    Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.
    There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored
    far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown
    Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

    GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED
    Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can
    result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're
    going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the
    damn things off.

    9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT
    Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore
    it, you store it.

    10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS Direct pressure is very
    unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side
    of the clitoris.

    11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK Women, unlike men, don't pick
    up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back
    to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not
    there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

    12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY
    Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look
    when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her
    head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's
    toy.

    13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY
    Stroking her gently through her panties can be very
    sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and
    yanking it back and forth is not.

    14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA
    Although most men can find the clitoris without maps,
    they still believe that the vagina is where it's all
    at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're
    trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is
    okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can
    hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay
    more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her
    vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her
    and see if she likes it.

    15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY
    You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing
    massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips
    are okay; elbows and knees are not.

    16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY
    Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at
    least made some move toward getting your stuff off,
    even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

    17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST
    A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose
    the socks first.

    18) GOING TOO FAST
    When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the
    worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial
    power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line
    worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up
    slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

    19) GOING TOO HARD
    If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her
    thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of
    horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

    20) COMING TOO SOON
    Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you
    see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a
    backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

    21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH
    It may appear to you that humping for an hour without
    climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's
    more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy
    some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to
    hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

    22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
    You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make
    noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

    23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
    Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get
    your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently
    rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

    24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
    Men persist in doing this until she's
    eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very
    swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's
    about three steps from being dragged to a cave by
    their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use
    yours; try talking seductively to her.

    25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
    Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not
    everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex,
    warn her before you come so she can do what's
    necessary.

    26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
    Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during
    fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

    27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
    In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men
    ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more
    laundry to do.

    28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
    Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting
    while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her
    gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like
    the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

    29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX & PRETENDING IT WAS N ACCIDENT

    This is how men earn a reputation for not being able
    to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask
    her first. And don't think that being drunk is an
    excuse.

    30) TAKING PICTURES
    When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll
    hear the words"__to show my buddies." At least let her
    have custody of them.

    31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
    Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her
    back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
    Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy
    props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

    32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
    There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a
    belching contest.

    33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
    If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but
    unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too
    ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner
    with snapped hamstrings.

    34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
    Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for
    men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

    35) GIVING LOVE BITES
    It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on
    the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No
    woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty
    scarves for weeks on end.

    36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
    Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a
    megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

    37) TALKING DIRTY
    It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor
    calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll
    let you know

    38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
    You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you
    get it right, and she might even do the same for you.


    39) SQUASHING HER
    Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on
    her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

    40) THANKING HER
    Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your
    bedroom is not a soup kitchen.
     
  2. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Every man should read this, and understand it...

    41. No farting or burping
    it's just wrong.
     
  3. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with most of these, although personally I'm kind of weird in that I don't like kissing. This has been a problem with guys I've dated - they wanted to kiss, and I didn't. I've only kissed one guy ever who was a good kisser (and he was not good in bed). I guess if I found another guy who kissed like that one good kisser, I'd feel differently about that. (But I'd hope he'd be better in bed than the one good kisser!)

    And as for farting and belching, sometimes it can't be helped. I've accidentally done this myself (yeah, very unsexy I know, but it was out of my control). So it doesn't really bother me so much if a guy does this occasionally (notice the word occasionally there!)
     
  4. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Neat!! I'm not the only one who can't stand kissing!
     
  5. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    I might just make this thread a sticky.

    I'm certainly going to print it for distribution!
     
  6. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    I always thought this was a 'to do' list :biggrin1:
     
  7. BobLeeSwagger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2003
    Messages:
    1,481
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    I agree with almost all of them. The only thing I would change about it is that these are pretty good guidelines about common pitfalls. But there ARE women that like rougher clit stimulation. There ARE some that like having their head held down while giving a blowjob. You just can't assume that because the majority will not like it. If you communicate the unusual things you both like that the other might not have thought of, then you know the exceptions to these rules.

    Except for the part about guys wearing only socks. This is universal and I'm glad a woman pointed it out to me at an early age.
     
  8. B_1youngboy

    B_1youngboy New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2007
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto
    I don't make mistakes in bed
     
  9. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    42. Not listening.
     
  10. snoozan

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2006
    Messages:
    3,568
    Likes Received:
    4
    I was like that for a long long time! I thought I was a freak. Even now, I love kissing, but there are also times when I don't want to. I have had major issues with affection in general my whole life which are being worked out by having a loving family, which I think the kissing thing is part of.
     
  11. lvlgdck

    lvlgdck New Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Midwest, USA
    All you young whipper-snappers out there, read this! For you men who THINK you know what you've been doing all along, read this! For you men who DO know what you're doing, well, it never hurts to review your notes.

    As for the other women's comments re: kissing...I happen to enjoy passionate kissing, and I respect that you don't! :)
     
  12. Yorkie

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    3,024
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    102
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Yorkshire, UK
    That's what your dad used to say - then you were born! :biggrin1:
     
  13. TBoneSteak

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2007
    Messages:
    562
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    119
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Verified:
    Photo
    Aahahahgahahghagagagag good one yorkie!

    I'm ashamed that I do one or two of these....

    Really though, If my feet are cold and they accidentally touch her ANYWHERE she yelps and "plummets back to square one very fast" now if I wear socks it's just as bad??? WTF! Stupid bad foot circulation..

    In conclusion, it's a good thing we men let our dicks do the thinking for us during sex...A logical being would have given up and let the species die long ago.:biggrin1:
     
  14. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah I can do it now... only when im intoxicated
    hahahaaaaa!!!!
     
  15. 10.5andproudofit

    10.5andproudofit New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    Messages:
    244
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york
    i was having sex with a girl once, first time we were ever together. She let out the LOUDEST fart you'd ever heard, and was mortified.

    I couldn't stop laughing for nearly 5 minutes. i assured it was fine, and i apologized for laughing.

    she calmed down when i called her and continued a great sexual relationship
     
  16. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    43. Leaving the seat up.
    My sister literally sat into the toilet bowl one night because she had to go pee in a pitch dark bathroom. I left the seat up. She cursed the shit out of me.

    44. Having pee dribble on the seat.
    The next night I had the seat down. I peed an d missed the mark and hit the seat. I didn't know. I was half dazed. Bathroom still pitch dark.
    Sister goes to use the bathroom she sits on a toilet seat with pee dribble.

    Second night of cursing me out.
     
  17. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Agreed





    Those are truly heinous crimes. Are you able to have a normal relationship with your sister these days? :biggrin1:
     
  18. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Oh God--Gurlfriend

    I am the youngest in the clan. I get lit maxi pads and panty shields rained on me. It isn't fun being me in my family. I tell you that with sincere honesty.

    Maybe I am gay because I have such mean ass sisters and a Mom that was on my case all the time.
     
  19. B_ironsoul

    B_ironsoul New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    1
    take out 15, 30 and 37 please. Then I will approve
     
  20. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    Maybe you left the seat up because of your mean ass sisters?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted