40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

[B_Think_Kink]

43. Leaving the seat up.
My sister literally sat into the toilet bowl one night because she had to go pee in a pitch dark bathroom. I left the seat up. She cursed the shit out of me.

44. Having pee dribble on the seat.
The next night I had the seat down. I peed an d missed the mark and hit the seat. I didn't know. I was half dazed. Bathroom still pitch dark.
Sister goes to use the bathroom she sits on a toilet seat with pee dribble.

Second night of cursing me out.

Yeah... my brother still can't get these right... horrible.

 

[Principessa]

Oh God--Gurlfriend

I am the youngest in the clan. I get lit maxi pads and panty shields rained on me. It isn't fun being me in my family. I tell you that with sincere honesty.

Maybe I am gay because I have such mean ass sisters and a Mom that was on my case all the time.

One of my interests is sibling relationships and how they vary regionally and culturally around the country. You being a youngest son in a southern family is an important part of your character building years.

It would definetely shape the man you grew into, whether you wanted it to or not. :tongue: Well since you were born gay and your sisters didn't make you gay. I'm not sure what effect their shaping had.

 

[3664shaken]

Ones I disagree with

#3 –1,2,3 day facial stubble is a turn on.

#5 – Biting at just the right time is an intense turn on

#11 – Strategic breaks only heighten the experience, personally spending to much time down there gets very boring, time to bring on the real action.

#10 & 21 – didn’t know that was possible.

#24 – When done correctly is a turn-on

#25 – Oh jeeze if you can’t tell he is ready then something is wrong with you, you complained that the guy should know hen the girl has an orgasm well guess what it is pretty easy to tell when a guy is going to.

#26 – Say what, you better be a participant in oral sex and not just lie there. And grabbing the head is hot, push me down on you if that’s what you want, just let me stop when I want to.

#34 – Huh, maybe medically true, but anal stimulation feels very good, sometimes better than vaginal to me.

#37 – I don’t think so, dirty talk can many times send me over the edge.

In the end, nobody is identical, I have found the best approach is to simply ask what you partner(s) want.

 

[vibratingfinger]

Generally a good list. But some of the points are a bit weird. For example I don't think there are many men who bite girls Tyson style. Oh and I've never thanked anyone for sex, but been told thank you often. I don't think it's a big deal. In fact, if I hear it then I know I've done my job well enough. I'm all for being sexually liberated, but these days a lot of women have taken this too far and become selfish. It's not all about you. At some point I've got to enjoy the sex too. If I feel too much that the act of sex is like a performance, then I'll find a girl who knows how to please me the same way that I please her. Too many girls these days don't even know how to suck a dick. I know I'm girthier and it's not easy, but that's no excuse for staring at it forever and then slapping it against my belly. I mean WTF?

 

[deleted105034]

Just a note on the toilet seat thing, what I do is not only put the seat back down, but I flip the lid down as well. That way both sexes have at least something to do before going to the bathroom.

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

Originally Posted by aloofman

I agree with almost all of them. The only thing I would change about it is that these are pretty good guidelines about common pitfalls. But there ARE women that like rougher clit stimulation. There ARE some that like having their head held down while giving a blowjob. True, but they are in the minority and they know it, so they tell the men they are with what they need.

What makes you think women tell men what they need in bed? Many don't and expect guys to know ahead of time.

 

[rob_just_rob]

This list isn't a bad starting point (assuming it was meant to be taken seriously) but it's full of generalizations. Maybe most women would agree with the full 40 items, but I've known women who would disagree with many of them.

In particular: 4,5,6,10,30,37,39.

Making a list of things that are 'mistakes' with all women is like saying that all women attach the same value to penis size - another fallacy we see frequently here.

 

[B_big dirigible]

43. Leaving the seat up.
My sister literally sat into the toilet bowl one night because she had to go pee in a pitch dark bathroom. I left the seat up. She cursed the shit out of me.

44. Having pee dribble on the seat.
The next night I had the seat down. I peed an d missed the mark and hit the seat. I didn't know. I was half dazed. Bathroom still pitch dark.
Sister goes to use the bathroom she sits on a toilet seat with pee dribble.

Second night of cursing me out.

Sounds like everyone in your family needs to learn the secret of fire. Or of electric lighting, at least.

 

[B_HappyHammer1977]

i must be doing something wrong!!

 

[D_Sherian_LaNeige]

What puzzles me about the toilet seat thing is that everyone should close the lid before flushing anyway, so that particles of "toilet matter" don't get ejected into the air and land in your toothbrush. So think about that, eh?


Oh, and I didn't realise you had to have a prostate to enjoy anal sex. I must have been mistaken all these years... :-S

 

[DC_DEEP]

Just a note on the toilet seat thing, what I do is not only put the seat back down, but I flip the lid down as well. That way both sexes have at least something to do before going to the bathroom.

Interesting... that's usually my strategy. But I did have a debate about this once, and I bet you can guess the progression:

Her: Men should put the seat back down when they are done.
Me: No, women should put the seat down before they start.
No, that's the man's responsibility.
Well, how about if I just leave it down, and don't lift it when I pee?
That's gross! You should lift it before you start, and put it down when you are done.
So what's the problem with me leaving it up?
I don't want to fall in.
Shouldn't you check it first?
If I go in the night, I'm too sleepy to check.
Well, if I go in the night, I'm too sleepy to check it, too.
Well, it's still your responsibility.
Ok, how's this: you leave it in whichever position you finish with. That way, the one who uses it more will already have it in the position needed.
But I don't want to touch it!
(I knew it, the truth finally comes out.) So, you think I want to?
Because I'm right, and I'll make your life miserable otherwise.
(uh, like you aren't doing that already...)

 

[No_Strings]

What puzzles me about the toilet seat thing is that everyone should close the lid before flushing anyway, so that particles of "toilet matter" don't get ejected into the air and land in your toothbrush. So think about that, eh?

You should marry me! :tongue:

 

[invisibleman]

Sounds like everyone in your family needs to learn the secret of fire. Or of electric lighting, at least.

Darlin'--

Waking up in the middle of night slumber with a pee boner, going to pee--I AM a zombie. If I had make a fire to cook with at that time of the morning--the place would be on fire. I would be on fire burning and sleeping . Man, I am soo zonked in my slumbers. I sleep deeply and wake up sloooowwww. That is just me.

Invisi

 

[Principessa]

What puzzles me about the toilet seat thing is that everyone should close the lid before flushing anyway, so that particles of "toilet matter" don't get ejected into the air and land in your toothbrush. So think about that, eh? Actually I leave my toothbrush in a drawer, in a plastic case, for just that reason. :tongue:

Oh, and I didn't realise you had to have a prostate to enjoy anal sex. I must have been mistaken all these years... :-S

I thought that was an odd statement to make as well. I not only love anal sex I have orgasms from it. I call them my analgasms. :biggrin1:

 

[Mr. Snakey]

That is why we as men must ask and care as to how it feels for them while we are having sex. If their pleasure is your paramount concern it will only strengthen your own pleasure

 

[Love-it]

Courtesy is leaving the seat down. What's the big deal?

We also put the lid down because our cat will splash water out of the bowl on to the floor.

 

[chesz001]

Well,what if your toilet dont have a lid?LoL

Whenever i pee i dont usually touch the lid..hehehe

and worse,sometimes i dont flush the toilet..hahaha..gross??grins~

 

[ClaireTalon]

Since the original post was made by a man turning to his sex mates, I have a little reminder for my sex mates too: As unerotic as these 40 no-nos are, there's a 41st: snubbing guys about them. I only push the crash button in extreme emergency, until then I make do with subtle hints, or maneuvering him and his behavior unti it's more after my taste. Most guys really get the clues, the number of those who need to have their habits shoved into their face is agreeably low.

Maybe I should add this thing to undergird my reputation as an easygoing, yet demanding lover. Most of the issues come from the "not too much, but please not too little either" category, meaning you have to find the right amount. I'm a big girl (constant 155 - 160 lbs), and if you lay down on me, I can surely take a little more than my neighbor, who is only 100 lbs. Of course those are extreme examples, but you have no other choice than trying, attempting and looking for the right amount with your individual partner, and every new partner (one of the disadvantages of leading a promiscuous life). So, don't worry if you recognize that 25 of those 40 no-gos have occurred in your sex life.

 

[transformer_99]

I just saw this in another site..what do you think?
.............
1) NOT KISSING FIRST
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the
erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by
the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is
the Ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this.
Well, there's a difference between being erotic and
blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles
on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your
chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's
face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to
side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for
ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke,
caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp
down like they're trying to deflate her body via her
breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't
stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently.
Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending
they're a dogie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples
between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a
radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole
breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs:
Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.
There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored
far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown
Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can
result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're
going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the
damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore
it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS Direct pressure is very
unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side
of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK Women, unlike men, don't pick
up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back
to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not
there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look
when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her
head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's
toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very
sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and
yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps,
they still believe that the vagina is where it's all
at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're
trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is
okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can
hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay
more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her
vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her
and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing
massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips
are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at
least made some move toward getting your stuff off,
even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose
the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the
worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial
power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line
worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up
slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her
thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of
horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you
see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a
backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without
climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's
more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy
some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to
hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make
noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get
your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently
rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
Men persist in doing this until she's
eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very
swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's
about three steps from being dragged to a cave by
their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use
yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not
everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex,
warn her before you come so she can do what's
necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during
fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men
ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more
laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting
while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her
gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like
the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX & PRETENDING IT WAS N ACCIDENT

This is how men earn a reputation for not being able
to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask
her first. And don't think that being drunk is an
excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll
hear the words"__to show my buddies." At least let her
have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her
back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy
props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a
belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but
unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too
ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner
with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for
men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on
the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No
woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty
scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a
megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor
calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll
let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you
get it right, and she might even do the same for you.


39) SQUASHING HER
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on
her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your
bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

Wow, are we even allowed to try to have sex ? After this list, everything/approach you could possibly do is the wrong thing ? This list should be changed to "40 things to make you more self conscious about while you are trying to get laid." Who has time to think about any of these in the heat of battle ?

 

[chesz001]

Wow, are we even allowed to try to have sex ? After this list, everything/approach you could possibly do is the wrong thing ? This list should be changed to "40 things to make you more self conscious about while you are trying to get laid." Who has time to think about any of these in the heat of battle ?

LoL.i was also thinking the same thing..
Where would you put the kinky?sex positions?hahaha..