40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

[B_spiker067]

Interesting... that's usually my strategy. But I did have a debate about this once, and I bet you can guess the progression:

Her: Men should put the seat back down when they are done.
Me: No, women should put the seat down before they start.
No, that's the man's responsibility.
Well, how about if I just leave it down, and don't lift it when I pee?
That's gross! You should lift it before you start, and put it down when you are done.
So what's the problem with me leaving it up?
I don't want to fall in.
Shouldn't you check it first?
If I go in the night, I'm too sleepy to check.
Well, if I go in the night, I'm too sleepy to check it, too.
Well, it's still your responsibility.
Ok, how's this: you leave it in whichever position you finish with. That way, the one who uses it more will already have it in the position needed.
But I don't want to touch it!
(I knew it, the truth finally comes out.) So, you think I want to?
Because I'm right, and I'll make your life miserable otherwise.
(uh, like you aren't doing that already...)

My argument exactly. Has always pissed me off and has always seemed as one of the many mini-power plays in MF relationships.

The only thing that finally won me over was when I caught the dog drinking from it and then wanting to lick me!?! Then again dogs don't ever live long enough to make it a lifelong habit, putting the seat down that is.:tongue:

As for the OP what a crock of ass kissing shit. If I can't have some of what I want it isn't equal. But I guess if it was aimed at the ham handed its all good.

 

[Magnum Excel]

Wow, are we even allowed to try to have sex ? After this list, everything/approach you could possibly do is the wrong thing ? This list should be changed to "40 things to make you more self conscious about while you are trying to get laid." Who has time to think about any of these in the heat of battle ?

HAHAHA exactly!

 

[vince]

Wow, are we even allowed to try to have sex ? After this list, everything/approach you could possibly do is the wrong thing ? This list should be changed to "40 things to make you more self conscious about while you are trying to get laid." Who has time to think about any of these in the heat of battle ?

Exactly. I was wondering if there is anything the average guy does right?

And on the subject of toilet lids. I lived for a few months with two women. And everytime I lifted the lid to whiz, I was grossed out by the yellow stains on the underside from the splish splash when they pee'd. I asked them to wipe the underside after thet did their buisness and was told not to be such a whuss! So after that I just left it up for all the world to see.
End of problem!

 

[B_josiah852]

I just saw this in another site..what do you think?
.............
1) NOT KISSING FIRST
Not guilty

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR
Never done this.

3) NOT SHAVING
Wasn't shaved when I had unexpected sex plus some women like the 5 o'clock shadow (unless they wasn't telling me the truth about mine)

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST
Have to admit I did this in Jr. High and High School. But then comes along a woman who says: stop it!!!!

5) BITING HER NIPPLES
I have only done this when I was told too. Some ladies are so demanding. lol

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES
Yeah I probably did this one time or another.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY
I've kissed women from head to toe. Found out early this could be fun.

GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED
Got hand caught in underpants when fingering high school age girls. You know the ones. They wanted you to play but was afraid to pull down their jeans.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT
Always flushed mine. Even took the wrapper home and threw it away.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS
The next time a lady has me by the back of my head and grinding her crotch into my face, I will politely take my tounge off her clit and tell her that her clit is too sensitive for this kind of play and we must be more carefull.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK
I have came in the past more than once with one erection, but when my little soldier goes soft penetration is over. So no breaks. It's always over when the fat boy creams.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY
High school, back seat of car at the drive in.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY
Never even thought of this during foreplay.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA
The same girl that taught me how to eat pussy, taught me that finger banging wasn't gonna get it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY
Not guilty

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY
I always let the lady pull my pants off.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST
Always take my shirt off first.

18) GOING TOO FAST
Only when the woman screams: Fuck Me Hard

19) GOING TOO HARD
Found out early that I was too long to do this with some ladies. Not all just some.

20) COMING TOO SOON
I have the curse of being so nervous, that the first time I have sex with a lady, I take longer to cum.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH
It's best to take a long time to come at least once or twice so she can tell her friends how sore she is because you took a hour and a half to cum. So good for the male ego when her friends look at you and say with a smile: I heard you can ride for a long time.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
Never had to ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
Nope

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
Learned early that the only women who like a man to nudge her head down is in porn.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
Just before I cum, I moan, groan, move my hips, tense my legs and sometimes even scream like a bitch. No need to warn her then.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
Learned early women don't like to feel like you are fucking their mouth. Foreplay is supposed to be romantic.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
Where did you think these 40 wrong moves came from. lol

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
Let em ride until they have had enough orgasms that they are getting weak. Then change positions. Once again, they tell their friends how many orgasms they had during sex with you. Their friends smile even more at you.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX & PRETENDING IT WAS N ACCIDENT
Have only performed anal sex with ladies that said: Fuck My Ass Now!!!

30) TAKING PICTURES
Only did this when the ladies wanted. Do you think that the pics they took home, they showed their freinds ? hmmmmmmmmmm

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
Not guilty. Always tried to be as imaginative as the ladies would allow.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
This only happened to me when I was fucking a fat girl. lol

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
Yeah, I found this out the hard way. But the good news is I am too old to get them in some of these positions now anyway.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
Hehehehehehe. The ones that like a little anal play. I let them do the: yeah that's it or easy baby or nope.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES
I never bit but have had ladies bite my shoulder while they had orgasms.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
You mean like: shove my big cock down your throat. Nah never did that.

37) TALKING DIRTY
That's better left to cyber sex. Or at least I'm better at it during cyber sex.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
What ? There's women that don't cum during sex ?


39) SQUASHING HER
That's when you should let them get on top.

40) THANKING HER
I just usually say: FUCK I CAN'T GET UP.


(Never date a optomitrist. During foreplay they say: Is this better ? Or is this better.) lol lol lol lol

 

[Derral]

As far as I can tell from the posts of female members, this list is useless, and was written by a woman with personal tastes that aren't shared with all women everywhere.