5 things women want in a man

[1019487]

have you ever wondered if posts like this are the reason you have such a hard time with women

 

[TexanStar]

To all the young dudes that may be reading this thread, a large percentage of women are completely clueless as to what they are actually looking for in a man, especially with most of the women that regularly troll on this forum. There is a reason why there are so many dysfunctional young women who are single mothers raising bastard children with no father in the picture at all.

Women that are raised in normal and functional households seek out men who help to create stability in a relationship, family, household, etc. Women that are raised in dysfunctional and chaotic environments are far more likely to be in relationships that are filled with drama, are chaotic and unstable.

Normal people look for the following in a relationship, this includes both men and women.

- Someone you are physically attracted to
- Is financially stable or on a track to be (college, trade school, eIstc.)
- No drugs
- No smoking
- No drinking beyond a social level or not at all
- Has his or her own social life
- Has his or her own hobbies that don't involve you
- Has no mental health or behavior issues
- No criminal history
- Otherwise normal and functional individual that doesn't exist on the fringe of society

Outside of these basic parameters, you start getting into more detailed variables regarding personal compatibility, but those don't become apparent until after spending a considerable length of time with that individual.

 

[286798]

To all the young dudes that may be reading this thread, a large percentage of women are completely clueless as to what they are actually looking for in a man, especially with most of the women that regularly troll on this forum. There is a reason why there are so many dysfunctional young women who are single mothers raising bastard children with no father in the picture at all.

Women that are raised in normal and functional households seek out men who help to create stability in a relationship, family, household, etc. Women that are raised in dysfunctional and chaotic environments are far more likely to be in relationships that are filled with drama, are chaotic and unstable.

Normal people look for the following in a relationship, this includes both men and women.

- Someone you are physically attracted to
- Is financially stable or on a track to be (college, trade school, eIstc.)
- No drugs
- No smoking
- No drinking beyond a social level or not at all
- Has his or her own social life
- Has his or her own hobbies that don't involve you
- Has no mental health or behavior issues
- No criminal history
- Otherwise normal and functional individual that doesn't exist on the fringe of society

Outside of these basic parameters, you start getting into more detailed variables regarding personal compatibility, but those don't become apparent until after spending a considerable length of time with that individual.

And when did you become an expert on what women want? I thought you had problems finding a date?

My comments:
- Someone you are physically attracted to : Yes, but there is a lot of latitude here... AE and I both prefer big men.
- Is financially stable or on a track to be (college, trade school, eIstc.): Truth. I ended an otherwise pretty good relationship because he had a pattern of not living within his means and didn't want to deal with that for the rest of my life.
- No drugs: Truth for me, but this obviously isn't the case for all, like TNJ.
- No smoking: Agree, but I can tolerate an occasional cigar.
- No drinking beyond a social level or not at all: I do not want any addiction issues but probably wouldn't want someone who does NOT drink
- Has his or her own social life: Yes, he must have his own friends, but I need to be a part of his social circle and he in mine.
- Has his or her own hobbies that don't involve you: Yes, he must have his own passions, but this can go too far.
- Has no mental health or behavior issues: Agree 100%
- No criminal history: I wouldn't say none, but no major infractions. I could deal with a DUI or minor thing when young and dumb.
- Otherwise normal and functional individual that doesn't exist on the fringe of society: Mostly true, but "too normal" can be boring. Others here like the fringe.

Your opening statement made me do a big old eye roll and I almost didn't read the rest. I'll agree with a lot of your post, but not the pejorative attitude that goes with it.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

To all the young dudes that may be reading this thread, a large percentage of women are completely clueless as to what they are actually looking for in a man, especially with most of the women that regularly troll on this forum. There is a reason why there are so many dysfunctional young women who are single mothers raising bastard children with no father in the picture at all.

Women that are raised in normal and functional households seek out men who help to create stability in a relationship, family, household, etc. Women that are raised in dysfunctional and chaotic environments are far more likely to be in relationships that are filled with drama, are chaotic and unstable.

Normal people look for the following in a relationship, this includes both men and women.

- Someone you are physically attracted to
- Is financially stable or on a track to be (college, trade school, eIstc.)
- No drugs
- No smoking
- No drinking beyond a social level or not at all
- Has his or her own social life
- Has his or her own hobbies that don't involve you
- Has no mental health or behavior issues
- No criminal history
- Otherwise normal and functional individual that doesn't exist on the fringe of society

Outside of these basic parameters, you start getting into more detailed variables regarding personal compatibility, but those don't become apparent until after spending a considerable length of time with that individual.

As an FYI for "all the young dudes" who might wander in to LPSG and don't know who @sangheili90 is, this member is 28 years old, has been laid a few times (maybe) by a teenager when he was 26-27, and has never had a long-term relationship with a woman.

Now, in my opinion there is nothing at all wrong with any of the above. There is no shame in inexperience.

What's shameful is writing about women as if one has experience relating to them. But he has no practical experience. His posts read as if ripped directly out of a self-help website.

It's bad enough that he isn't speaking from experience beyond a list of attributes few if any real people can completely meet. But then he speaks for women. "A large percentage...are completely clueless..." How does he know this? Has he met all women? Is he a woman? He doesn't preface these sweeping generalizations with, "In my experience" or even, "in my opinion". No. He writes as if he's an authority. With no experience. This is a guy who passed out when talking to women whom he'd just met. Yet he feels comfortable throwing shade on several female members who related their past relationships. And fwiw, that's why I have no qualms about talking about his history. He trashes anyone who isn't perfect. "Undesirable" is a common descriptor from him. Him, the one with zero experience. Telling us how to choose a mate.

But by all means take relationship advice from him.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Women that are raised in normal and functional households seek out men who help to create stability in a relationship, family, household, etc. Women that are raised in dysfunctional and chaotic environments are far more likely to be in relationships that are filled with drama, are chaotic and unstable.

Normal people look for the following in a relationship, this includes both men and women.

- Someone you are physically attracted to
- Is financially stable or on a track to be (college, trade school, eIstc.)
- No drugs
- No smoking
- No drinking beyond a social level or not at all
- Has his or her own social life
- Has his or her own hobbies that don't involve you
- Has no mental health or behavior issues
- No criminal history
- Otherwise normal and functional individual that doesn't exist on the fringe of society

Outside of these basic parameters, you start getting into more detailed variables regarding personal compatibility, but those don't become apparent until after spending a considerable length of time with that individual.

Now that We've established your pedigree, let's get down to brass tacks on this post.

You claim women raised in "normal" households are more likely to seek stable relationships, and those raised in dysfunctional households seek drama, etc.

Huh.

My ex-wife was raised in the former...stable, "normal" suburban home. I had basically the same. I am far from a drama seeker. She became a functional alcoholic, a serial adulteress, lost a great job, and for a short time attempted physical abuse along with her long-standing emotional abuse. I learned far late in the game that her "normal stable" mom had affairs that she carried on while my ex was in the house.

So, riddle me this, oh wise one: how do you know the "normal and functional" background is actually as it appears?

My current wife was raised in a home where her dad was a Vietnam vet who saw ugly combat, was alcoholic, physically and verbally abusive, and divorced her mom rather early on. Her mom was promiscuous so there was always a new guy around. She left mom to live with dad, where the abuse got bad enough she ran away enough to be put into the system. Among the first homes she was placed was one where she was sexually abused while the wife watched. She finally found a good home late in the game. However, thanks to a condom failure she got pregnant the first time she had sex with her boyfriend.

Suffice to say my wife became a single young mother to what you describe as a "bastard child" (oh, and before I forget, go FUCK yourself for writing that. My step-daughter is an awesome woman)...just exactly who you describe as an "undesirable". Yet, she finished high school, has an accounting degree, has worked and put that "bastard child" through a prestigious private school, and had by all of YOUR descriptions a "normal functional household" when we met. She wasn't much older than you are now, when we met.

But, but, but.....how can that be? YOU state this is all highly unlikely. Yet here we are. Married, happy, stable.

Life is NOT a list. People are not to be placed in convenient neat descriptive cubbies. Things change. People change. Life happens. Some rise to the challenges, others are buried by them. Who the FUCK are you to judge those who succumb to life as "undesirable" ???? Explain how your neat tidy system explains my life. Tell me. I'll wait. I doubt you'll respond, because you rarely directly address men here, beyond calling us stalkers and trolls. Address this or be the coward you've always been here.

 

[TexanStar]

Now that We've established your pedigree, let's get down to brass tacks on this post.

You claim women raised in "normal" households are more likely to seek stable relationships, and those raised in dysfunctional households seek drama, etc.

Huh.

My ex-wife was raised in the former...stable, "normal" suburban home. I had basically the same. I am far from a drama seeker. She became a functional alcoholic, a serial adulteress, lost a great job, and for a short time attempted physical abuse along with her long-standing emotional abuse. I learned far late in the game that her "normal stable" mom had affairs that she carried on while my ex was in the house.

So, riddle me this, oh wise one: how do you know the "normal and functional" background is actually as it appears?

My current wife was raised in a home where her dad was a Vietnam vet who saw ugly combat, was alcoholic, physically and verbally abusive, and divorced her mom rather early on. Her mom was promiscuous so there was always a new guy around. She left mom to live with dad, where the abuse got bad enough she ran away enough to be put into the system. Among the first homes she was placed was one where she was sexually abused while the wife watched. She finally found a good home late in the game. However, thanks to a condom failure she got pregnant the first time she had sex with her boyfriend.

Suffice to say my wife became a single young mother to what you describe as a "bastard child" (oh, and before I forget, go FUCK yourself for writing that. My step-daughter is an awesome woman)...just exactly who you describe as an "undesirable". Yet, she finished high school, has an accounting degree, has worked and put that "bastard child" through a prestigious private school, and had by all of YOUR descriptions a "normal functional household" when we met. She wasn't much older than you are now, when we met.

But, but, but.....how can that be? YOU state this is all highly unlikely. Yet here we are. Married, happy, stable.

Life is NOT a list. People are not to be placed in convenient neat descriptive cubbies. Things change. People change. Life happens. Some rise to the challenges, others are buried by them. Who the FUCK are you to judge those who succumb to life as "undesirable" ???? Explain how your neat tidy system explains my life. Tell me. I'll wait. I doubt you'll respond, because you rarely directly address men here, beyond calling us stalkers and trolls. Address this or be the coward you've always been here.

He also has a history of completely ignoring any and all advice anyone here gives him. Spend time writing explanatory replies to him at your own risk

 

[328982]

All our male LPG’s friends can comment also.

Personally I look for

Kindness
Honesty
Good humour
Cleanliness
Sex appeal

in a man.

 

[Igot8here]

You mean #1 isn't a big cock?

 

[creek47]

A sense of humor! Sometimes life will break as best you down and the only way you can overcome is by laughter.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

He also has a history of completely ignoring any and all advice anyone here gives him. Spend time writing explanatory replies to him at your own risk

Yep, Anything I write in reply to him is really for anyone else's benefit and amusement. He's a lost cause.

 

[halcyondays]

# 1. I think Intimacy is much more than sex or sexual attraction. What do you think ?

Depends on the situation and the individual woman. During the club scene of the 1980s I sometimes didn't get out of the parking lot without steaming up the car windows with a young lady who wanted every inch of intimacy right then and there.

If you have a broader definition of intimacy than sex let's hear it.

 

[sangheili90]

And when did you become an expert on what women want? I thought you had problems finding a date?

My comments:
- Someone you are physically attracted to : Yes, but there is a lot of latitude here... AE and I both prefer big men.
- Is financially stable or on a track to be (college, trade school, eIstc.): Truth. I ended an otherwise pretty good relationship because he had a pattern of not living within his means and didn't want to deal with that for the rest of my life.
- No drugs: Truth for me, but this obviously isn't the case for all, like TNJ.
- No smoking: Agree, but I can tolerate an occasional cigar.
- No drinking beyond a social level or not at all: I do not want any addiction issues but probably wouldn't want someone who does NOT drink
- Has his or her own social life: Yes, he must have his own friends, but I need to be a part of his social circle and he in mine.
- Has his or her own hobbies that don't involve you: Yes, he must have his own passions, but this can go too far.
- Has no mental health or behavior issues: Agree 100%
- No criminal history: I wouldn't say none, but no major infractions. I could deal with a DUI or minor thing when young and dumb.
- Otherwise normal and functional individual that doesn't exist on the fringe of society: Mostly true, but "too normal" can be boring. Others here like the fringe.

Your opening statement made me do a big old eye roll and I almost didn't read the rest. I'll agree with a lot of your post, but not the pejorative attitude that goes with it.

The reality is that many women say they want one thing but go out of their way to pursue men that aren't what they are looking for at all.

I'm not sure how old you are, I have a feeling late 30s to early 40s, but a significant percentage of young women around my age, 20 somethings, have absolutely no clue about what to look for in a man. I have a handful of very new and very close friends, as well as dozens of male pseudo friends and hearing their stories about women is both hilarious and sad at the same time. A lot of these women, based on my first hand observations and what I'm hearing, are addicted to attention, have short attention spans and get bored extremely quickly with "normal" men, I think a lot of this has to do with tinder and social media attention whoring.

I've had women tell me asking them out to dinner was "lame" and that holding the door for them and asking if they'd want a drink when they were over was a sign that I was "insecure". I've had women say that me not drinking alcohol was a "deal breaker" and when trying to have a normal conversation instead of just boning her was "boring and unexciting" lol.

On the flip side, I see these other guys who have tremendous success with women, and while I do like spending time with them I'd objectively be considered more attractive and a better catch overall. My closest friend has been with over 80 women, which is believable because he has a lineup of at least 3 women that he swaps out every couple weeks. He literally treats them like idiots and they eat it up, it's funny as hell but pathetic at the same time because it shows how stupid the average young American female is. He doesn't invest anything into them, yet they all willingly spread their legs on a regular basis. The best part is that they complain about him not wanting a relationship with them, and why would he when they give it for practically nothing lol. I've seen a lot of the interactions he has with women and it's hilarious how clueless they are.

As an experiment, I switched my tactics and sure enough it worked lol. These women don't wan't a nice guy that is actually good for them, they probably wouldn't even know what to do with a guy like that. Now, these women are surely not relationship material in the slightest, but the unfortunate reality is that this is now the norm in America.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

....because, of course, your extremely limited experience and circle of "new and close" and "pseudo friends'" (bet they'd really appreciate that label) stories are representative of all American women.

Stop speaking for what women want. You are not a woman.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Stop speaking for what women want. You are not a woman.

He won't.

He also won't stop talking about how he deserves attention from us but complains about how he doesn't get it.

He's basically hopeless because he doubles down every time and refuses to accept his own flaws. He truly thinks he has none.

 

[286798]

The reality is that many women say they want one thing but go out of their way to pursue men that aren't what they are looking for at all.

I'm not sure how old you are, I have a feeling late 30s to early 40s, but a significant percentage of young women around my age, 20 somethings, have absolutely no clue about what to look for in a man. I have a handful of very new and very close friends, as well as dozens of male pseudo friends and hearing their stories about women is both hilarious and sad at the same time. A lot of these women, based on my first hand observations and what I'm hearing, are addicted to attention, have short attention spans and get bored extremely quickly with "normal" men, I think a lot of this has to do with tinder and social media attention whoring.

I've had women tell me asking them out to dinner was "lame" and that holding the door for them and asking if they'd want a drink when they were over was a sign that I was "insecure". I've had women say that me not drinking alcohol was a "deal breaker" and when trying to have a normal conversation instead of just boning her was "boring and unexciting" lol.

On the flip side, I see these other guys who have tremendous success with women, and while I do like spending time with them I'd objectively be considered more attractive and a better catch overall. My closest friend has been with over 80 women, which is believable because he has a lineup of at least 3 women that he swaps out every couple weeks. He literally treats them like idiots and they eat it up, it's funny as hell but pathetic at the same time because it shows how stupid the average young American female is. He doesn't invest anything into them, yet they all willingly spread their legs on a regular basis. The best part is that they complain about him not wanting a relationship with them, and why would he when they give it for practically nothing lol. I've seen a lot of the interactions he has with women and it's hilarious how clueless they are.

As an experiment, I switched my tactics and sure enough it worked lol. These women don't wan't a nice guy that is actually good for them, they probably wouldn't even know what to do with a guy like that. Now, these women are surely not relationship material in the slightest, but the unfortunate reality is that this is now the norm in America.

Assuming everything you state here is true... you will probably end up with a better long term relationship. Women may want to fuck the bad boy, but they sure don't want all that mess when its time to settle down. Let it ride, brother... it'll work well for you in the long run

Side note- most men at your age dont know what they want either. Just sayin.

Also- you dont seem so arrogant in this post. Please keep this kind of dialogue going. I get tired of seeing the same few people glom on and bash you (myself included--- I'll own it) when you post things where you posture as having tons of experience and advice to give.

 

[1010309]

Sex,Web,& Lies!!!!!!!!!

Is this the bottom line to all our comments? Deedee must be very nieve or just dam blind when in a relationship... feed back my Lpsg friends. Let’s keep this thread going, it has been very interesting so far.

 

[286798]

Deedee must be very nieve or just dam blind when in a relationship...

I think I become less and less blind as I go. (At least, lawd, I hope so!) When I divorced by cheating & narcissistic wasband, I wanted someone safe, reliable, and devoted... and I found that, but at the expense of being irresponsible with his money and being willing to get off the couch. My next relationship was with an outgoing & gregarious man who was the above... at the expense of being emotionally mature, having to travel on the weekends when I was available and not wanting a family/pets. Current guy is extremely family oriented and totally devoted to his son, but is not good about making plans (and I'm not a scheduler so this is really saying something) and has less earning potential... but damn, he's young, hot, 6'9" and good in the sack so it works... for now.

I hope you (and I) find someone who meets the list of non-negotiables & checks most of the other boxes.

 

[1010309]

I think I become less and less blind as I go. (At least, lawd, I hope so!) When I divorced by cheating & narcissistic wasband, I wanted someone safe, reliable, and devoted... and I found that, but at the expense of being irresponsible with his money and being willing to get off the couch. My next relationship was with an outgoing & gregarious man who was the above... at the expense of being emotionally mature, having to travel on the weekends when I was available and not wanting a family/pets. Current guy is extremely family oriented and totally devoted to his son, but is not good about making plans (and I'm not a scheduler so this is really saying something) and has less earning potential... but damn, he's young, hot, 6'9" and good in the sack so it works... for now.

I hope you (and I) find someone who meets the list of non-negotiables & checks most of the other boxes.

You have said it all lurker23, well explained.. you have definitely described my lifestyle at this moment in time

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Also- you dont seem so arrogant in this post. Please keep this kind of dialogue going. I get tired of seeing the same few people glom on and bash you (myself included--- I'll own it) when you post things where you posture as having tons of experience and advice to give.

We must not have read the same post.

He's just as arrogant and ignorant as ever. The part about American women... Yeah, he can eat shit.

 

[englad]

For me:

Intelligence and worldliness
Sex appeal
Kindness
Quiet confidence
Emotionally open