5 Ways to Ask Girls or Guys Out

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Jun 28, 2008.

  1. Principessa

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    There seems to be an influx of nice guys on this site lately who have trouble meeting and talking to the object of their desire. The veritable plethora of gay, bi, and straight virgins over 21 is particularly perplexing and a tad bit troubling to me.

    In an effort to help you nice young men out I have perused google endlessly and found a few simple tips. They may seem obvious to seasoned daters; but for the shy computer programmer, engineer, science or math geek these things don't come easy. Y'all tend to be analytical and over think things. STOP! Just do it.


    ASK HER OUT
    by Thomas Foley

    The steady increase of online dating gurus and their specialized lingo in what is known as the “seduction community” truly baffles us because it has led to the creation of an ever-newer phenomenon: the pickup dilettante. This is the guy who buys the books, attends the seminars and contributes regularly to online forums about different strategies to ensnare unsuspecting hotties. He still doesn’t get the results he craves and as a result he can’t really be considered a “pickup artist.” If you know what’s being referred to when you hear the phrases “canned negs,” “personal DHVs” and “opening sets” yet you haven’t been on three dates all year, then you might be a pickup dilettante.

    If you ask us, these guys are spending too much time on technique and strategy and not enough on the actual core of the issue, which is to get a girl to go out with you. So, in this article we want to provide you with some basic strategies to help you ask her out. Keep in mind, however, that these are not pickup lines or “openers.”

    For our purposes, and to better help you ask her out, we’ll say that you already know this girl (perhaps she goes to your gym, she’s a friend of a friend or she works in your building). Whatever the case, you’re trying to move from having casual conversation to dating her and forming a potential relationship. What you need to do is quite simple and unfortunately the gurus often overlook it: Just ask her out! Here are a few ways to get to that point. We’ve even thrown in some phrases that will help you get the results that you're after.

    “Can I buy you dinner next week?”

    When you ask her out like this, you’re not giving her the option to let you down gently (and somewhat vaguely) by saying she already has plans. If she says, “Yes, that might be nice,” you can immediately follow it up with something like, “OK, which day works best for you?” If she still finds a way to avoid making concrete plans, you should move on to another girl at this point because she clearly isn’t interested. Incidentally, offering to buy her dinner lets her know that this is a date, not merely a friendly get-together.

    “Do you want to go to the game with me?”

    If you learn that the girl you’re eyeing is even remotely interested in sports, this is an excellent angle to try. Not only is it nice and light for everyone involved, but it also doesn’t require continual interaction. When she offers you money for the tickets, insist that because you invited her, this outing is on you. If she refuses to accept that and starts throwing money at you (and it’s obvious that she’s not attempting to simply be polite), she’s making it pretty clear that the two of you are not on a date, in which case you might as well sit back and enjoy the game. Hey, things could be worse.

    When you ask her out, keep it short and sweet…


    Hey, wanna grab a coffee?”

    You should tailor how you ask her out and what you do on your date to how well you know her. As such, it might be better to keep the first date brief and low-key. For example, if the two of you are mere acquaintances and you’ve only exchanged basic pleasantries with her, there is a chance that you’re completely incompatible and a two- or three-hour date might be too much for either of you to handle. She’s also more likely to accept something casual, like coffee at lunch, if she doesn’t know anything about you.

    "I'd love to see this movie with you."

    Every man knows that it makes no difference who watches a movie with him, but girls don’t always think like that. So, when you phrase the invitation like this you’re playing to her female sensibilities and paying her a sly tribute, which is something that goes a long way. Couching your invitation in a compliment is a great way to ask a girl out because it immediately makes her feel sexy and desirable, which will encourage her to answer in the affirmative. Some guys think you need to be cocky and arrogant to attract women, but very few can actually make this work for them. Stick to old-school flattery to bring her around, because in our experience even really hot girls don’t get tired of hearing compliments.

    “I’m taking you out this weekend. It’ll be a riot.”

    Don’t ask her, tell her. It’s no secret that women like assertive men, so if you can find the right tone and setting -- be careful not to come across as a bossy jerk -- she’ll appreciate the confidence and the candor. Adding the “It’ll be a riot” bit at the end softens it just enough to let her know that the decision is still hers to make, but she’ll be missing out on something genuinely appealing if she turns you down.

    it’s not a tongue twister

    So, here you have five different ways to get to the point and ask her out and they’re simple, but effective. Don’t get bogged down with elaborate strategies and start over-thinking the pursuit. Remember, you’re trying to score points with single women, not the “seduction community.”


    I am not an expert on the gay dating scene; but I see no reason why these tips couldn't work on a guy as well as a girl.
     
    #1 Principessa, Jun 28, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2008
  2. Pendlum

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    Thank you nj! :tongue: I like 3 of them really.
     
  3. fak_et

    fak_et New Member

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    Id never ask a girl if I can buy her dinner, that sucks!
     
  4. D_Fiona_Farvel

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    Imo, you can't go wrong with offering to feed a woman - even if just lunch or an iced mocha together.

    The tips are "keep it simple" and could help some guys approach women easier. If the dinner thing doesn't work for you, try a different one... Really after meeting a few guys who ask for a date in such a round about way that I'm forced to become a code breaker - these are nice and direct. :yup:

    Btw, all of them would totally work on me, particularly “Do you want to go to the game with me?” - that one never gets old.
     
  5. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    women respond mostly to waving mone around. it lets them know you have money. women like money a lot.
     
  6. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i wouldn't turn down a free meal... a girl's gotta eat! i've gone out with lots of guys i had no interest in, mostly because, hey, it's a free meal. but also because you never know what could happen!!
     
  7. prince_will

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    NJ, a quick question, how come you're troubled by gay, bi, or straight virgins over 21?

    and back to the thread, i do have a friend with which "i'd love to see this movie with you" would be a great one to use.
     
    #7 prince_will, Jun 29, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2008
  8. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I think it's best to just smile and say "hey". Eventually it will lead to hanging out with her (or him). Pick-up lines are cheesy!
     
  9. Guy-jin

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    I think I know what could happen!

    Bow chicka wow wow.


    Seriously though, asking a girl out just seems really hard, but it's actually the easiest thing in the world! Just do it!
     
  10. fak_et

    fak_et New Member

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    If you buy a girl dinner the first time you are hanging out, its gonna be pretty much expected that you are their bitch and are always going to have to buy her stuff for the most part.

    I used to do stuff like this, now I know better.

    The Hey while smiling is a win-win, just keep talking and eventually set something up.
     
  11. Principessa

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    [quote=prince_will;1581223] NJ, a quick question, how come you're troubled by gay, bi, or straight virgins over 21?

    and back to the thread, i do have a friend with which "i'd love to see this movie with you" would be a great one to use.[/quote]

    Because as a child of the 1970's I grew up with the post-Woodstock, touchy-feely, EST, hippie, free love culture which segued into the late 1970's & early 1980's Studio 54, disco era which also not surprisingly also included lots of sex and illegal drugs.

    In a graduating class of 353 students in 1984, I don't think there were more than 80 virgins and I was one of them. :redface: Trust me, it was nothing of which to be proud.

    So whilst I see nothing abnormal or weird about being gay or bi as opposed to straight. The fact that so many people choose to wear their virginity like the Red Badge of Courage well into their 20's and sometimes 30's seems like aberrant behavior to me. I simply cannot comprehend how this occurs if one is not actively pursuing a career in the clergy.

    Once you get past 25, being a virgin becomes part of your persona. Wouldn't you rather be known as Will the excellent doctor, lawyer, actor etc. Rather than Will the 28 year old virgin who is also a lawyer. :cool:
     
  12. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I wonder who this thread could be directed towards...:rolleyes:
     
  13. Principessa

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    I wasn't thinking of anyone person when I posted it. Who are you thinking of Mr. Hardcock? :confused:
     
  14. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Me :tongue:
     
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