50 Things that girls wish guys knew

Meniscus

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With all due respect to njqt, whom is one of my favorite people on this forum, I must make critical comments about this list.

50 things that girls wish guys knew:...

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

I disagree with a number of things on this list, but this one is by far the most removed from reality.

16 & 17 are contradictory.

This is a list about what women want, so of course items on the list are going to be contradictory. #17 is incompatible with many of the items on the list.

Having said that, I absolutely agree with the "Sex in the City" quote about blowjobs. Giving a blowjob is a lot of work. Straight men have no idea. I sometimes thing straight guys should be required to learn how to give blowjobs (using a dildo or just a banana or other phallic-shaped object) in order to gain and understanding that it's no easy task so that they'll be a little more appreciative of their partner's efforts.

The irony is that the OP disagrees with 5 things on this list, and I suspect that virtually every woman will disagree with 5 (or 10, or 3, or 15) items. Very likely different ones for each woman.

That's suggestive that these catch all lists aren't all that instructive.

Agreed.

The list summed up:

TREAT US LIKE THE PERFECT LITTLE PRINCESSES THAT WE ARE OR WE WON'T FUCK YOU.

Yeah, we're supposed to put their wants and needs in front of our own, give them privileged treatment (not equal treatment), and tolerate manipulation, emotional blackmail, and mind games. And no matter how inconsistent, irrational, uncommunicative, and generally unpredictable women are, we're supposed to magically know the right thing to do and say at all times. We need to accept their anger at our inability to do this impossible thing, and constantly be begging for their forgiveness. It hardly seems fair.
 

RamIt

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Jovial, I laughed out loud at least a dozen times reading your posts.

That guy speaks truth!!!
 
M

Mr Ed in Mass

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#2 about waiting for commercials to talk to you?
We stop listening to the football game when You say something ???


...............even when it was the 16-0 Patriots!!!!!!

...................................Go PATS !!!!!!
 

espreggels

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Holy God, are "Girl power!" lists like this ever infuriating. A few responses:

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

This doesn't even make sense. You want us to hatch plots with our evil twins to take over the family business?

4. Mark anniversaries & birthdays on a calendar.

Women: Realize that if we forget one of these dates, it is not ironclad proof that we don't care about you. We simply forgot.


6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.

I can use first letters to indicate words too: STFU. This is especially rich in light of #11: "Return favors."


9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

Bullshit mind games. And of course it's up to her to decide when plain, charming jealousy has tipped over into overly-possessive territory.


11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

We go down, you go down.

12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

Unless a couple is in the mood for a quickie.

13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

Here we find the heart of the problem with lists like these: women like the one who wrote this believe men and women should be complete equals -- except in cases where they want women to be more equal than men. Sorry, hon. If you want to keep all the gains that came with women's rights, you have to take the losses as well.


16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

As someone else pointed out, these are directly contradictory sometimes. In fact, #17 invalidate probably 70% of this list.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win

Girl power puffery. You ALWAYS win... unless it's, say, any kind of athletic competition, for example. If we're talking about arguments, how about we agree that the party who is right should win? Otherwise it's the "more equal" problem again.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

Why the "usually" qualifier? Oh, that's right -- because you want to reserve the right to act like a bitch if you feel like it.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! Ever!

Way to break down stereotypes there, lady.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. I know it seems like a lot but is it that hard?

Yes, it is that hard. You've got fucking arms: use them. Or are you a helpless damsel in distress? If that's the case, I don't see why you should get the same salary as me if you can't do shit for yourself.

26. We love surprises!

And I love to give them! For example, I'd like to surprise whoever wrote this list by smacking them across the mouth.


30. Clean your room before we come over.

Please do the same for your cooch.


32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

Note to women: Men are not fucking mind readers. If you don't like the way we do something in bed, tell us how to do it better. Note: Do NOT begin by telling us we suck; simply say, "What you're doing feels good, but could you try x and y?"

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

A paean to codependency. If the man you're with hurts you, find another man, for Christ's sake.

34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don't, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again

Bullshit mind games, yet again. What does this even mean? I'm supposed to randomly apologize whenever you're in a bad mood? Fuck that noise.

35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight. AKA don't be an ass

Great point, except that you kind of like it when I'm an ass.

36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

Sometimes!? What the fuck is this? How much time and effort has been spent drilling it into men's heads that no ALWAYS means no, regardless of situation or context. Is this woman trying to get men convicted as rapists? Try telling the judge that this was one of those "sometimes" situations in which no didn't mean no and see how far it gets you.


41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

You'll get over it.

44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

Either tell me what it was instead of engaging in juvenile, manipulative bullshit, or get the fuck out.

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

If you really shouldn't be wearing those low-rise pans, please be self-aware.

46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

Jesus, get a hobby.

47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

I assume this also applies to engagement rings, so by this statement you have forfeited your rights to be disappointed if it's cubic zirconia.

48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

Don't get upset if you don't hear it for a long time, then.

49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you...eventually we always catch you.

Except when you don't.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends knows everything about you.

Did you tell her how good I am in bed? If so, that was a mistake.


53. A quote from Sex and the City submitted by Molly
Adam: Well then c'mon....give me a BJ. Up and down a couple of times; you're done....its easy!!

Samantha: Easy? You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there; Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex and all the while bopping up and down, moaning, and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey....they dont call it a job for nothing!! :biggrin1:

I promise not to bitch about the challenge of going down on you if you do the same for me. I enjoy it because I like to get you off; you should feel the same way.

54. Please clean your bathroom before we arrive and make sure there is ample toilet paper available.

This may be the only good piece of advice in this entire ridiculous list. The thing is, it applies when any guest comes over, so it's not specific to women.
 

va_lk_yr_ie

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Written and understood from a cultural (and in this sense US-centric) perspective. I would not necessarily agree with most of the bullets on the list.

From my own perspective:

Don't expect me to walk in front of you; don't expect me to walk behind you; expect me to walk beside you, as an equal; sharing, loving, laughing and carrying an equal part in what we do.
 

headbang8

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55. Remember that we will judge everything you do, and never simply accept you as you are without judgement or reproach.

56. We never fall in love with you as a person, we fall in love with what you symbolise as a man.

57. Female character traits are virtues. Male character traits are foolishness, vanity or malice.

58. We forget nothing. That means nothing is ever really over, in the past, behind us, or forgiven.

59. Our manipulative mind games are not a subtle form of sexual violence, however destructive they may be to you, you character, your self-esteem, your health, your bank account, or your life in general.

60. We love you just the way you are, but are obsessed with changing you. We just want you to be everything you're not, without changing the guy you are. We do not see this as a problem, a contradiction, a hypocrisy, or a recipe for permanent unhappiness.
 

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Men can't pay attention more than one thing at one time. I stopped reading after the first sentence. :)
After I imagined, women just play a theatre so many times. :)
 

Jovial

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When I was young and naive and never had a girlfriend I used to think that sex was better for men and that's why women demanded all this special treatment. Now I know sex can and should be just as good for women as men. But it seems that when some women finally find a guy that they have really good sex with, they still want these extra perks just for being the woman. I think lovers should also be best friends and forget about all this bullshit.
Jovial, I laughed out loud at least a dozen times reading your posts.

That guy speaks truth!!!
Thanks
 

Gillette

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Holy God, are "Girl power!" lists like this ever infuriating. A few responses:

55. Remember that we will judge everything you do, and never simply accept you as you are without judgement or reproach.

56. We never fall in love with you as a person, we fall in love with what you symbolise as a man.

57. Female character traits are virtues. Male character traits are foolishness, vanity or malice.

58. We forget nothing. That means nothing is ever really over, in the past, behind us, or forgiven.

59. Our manipulative mind games are not a subtle form of sexual violence, however destructive they may be to you, you character, your self-esteem, your health, your bank account, or your life in general.

60. We love you just the way you are, but are obsessed with changing you. We just want you to be everything you're not, without changing the guy you are. We do not see this as a problem, a contradiction, a hypocrisy, or a recipe for permanent unhappiness.


Nicely said, both of you. My hat's off additionally to espreggels for going through all the font and size changes I couldn't be bothered with earlier.

I will say that I do love spooning, though.
 

tiff86

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i like that lol
well most of it

Yeah I agree I like most of it. The one from Sex and the City is funny :biggrin1:. I don't know if I like some of the ones that are about how guys have to be mindreaders or something. I don't think they can do that :confused: Oh also there's a lot of ones in there about how guys need to be so careful not to mess up all the time. I guess I think a guy who reads that maybe might think he has to always be thinking about how did he mess up and trying to read her mind. I think maybe if it takes so much work to not make her upset they aren't a real good match :confused: Other than that it's good :smile: especially the ones about cleaning the bathroom and stuff like that.
 

Principessa

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55. Remember that we will judge everything you do, and never simply accept you as you are without judgement or reproach.
Not me, I take people especially men at face value I always have.
56. We never fall in love with you as a person, we fall in love with what you symbolise as a man. And what is it you think a man symbolizes?
57. Female character traits are virtues. Male character traits are foolishness, vanity or malice. :wtf:
58. We forget nothing. That means nothing is ever really over, in the past, behind us, or forgiven. I have had more men including my own father bring up irrelevant shit from 15 years ago during an argument than I possibly could.
59. Our manipulative mind games are not a subtle form of sexual violence, however destructive they may be to you, you character, your self-esteem, your health, your bank account, or your life in general. I enjoy sex too much to use sex as a weapon. I have never understood women who do this.
60. We love you just the way you are, but are obsessed with changing you. We just want you to be everything you're not, without changing the guy you are. We do not see this as a problem, a contradiction, a hypocrisy, or a recipe for permanent unhappiness.
When I want a project I go to the Rag Shop or Home Depot. I cannot be bothered with a man that needs fixing.

:biggrin1: You have just described my last serious boyfriend and none of the women I know. At risk of being flamed, when was the last time you actually dated, loved; and had sex with a woman?:confused: Sounds like you got this crap from the He Man Woman Haters Club. :biggrin1::frown1::mad:

With all due respect to njqt, whom is one of my favorite people on this forum, I must make critical comments about this list. Thank you, I think . . .
50 things that girls wish guys knew:...
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
I disagree with a number of things on this list, but this one is by far the most removed from reality. Agreed.
Why? Because both men and women lie? I'm not one of those women, I never have been. I present myself honestly online and in real life. I have and will admit that I am a bit more reserved in person, but my sexual tastes are the same. I am so sick and tired of being the woman that meets the nice guy after the lying bitch you subtly refer to has walked all over his heart. :mad: :frown1:

In spite of my sometimes brutal honesty, I have had not one, not two, but 3 men from this site lie to me about being married when I asked them. This was not a sin of omission. :mad: This was a bald faced lie.:mad:
Me: Are you married?
Him: No
Me: (a week later) after having been told by no less than 4 people on this site both male and female that he is in fact married and his wife is pregnant or trying to become pregnant!
Me: Babe are you married?
Him: Yeah, but it's okay she knows I have a high sex drive. She's grateful I have an outlet.
Me: :eek: :confused: :wtf1: Goodbye.:mad:

I find myself agree with Jovial and Drifter far more than the OP (I mean the list originator, not NJ, I agree with her changes).
What does that say about me?
That you are a smart and sensible woman? :smile::cool:

Only single women would expect a man to remember 50 things.
Pffftt! If a man can remember the entire starting lineup of the 1969 Mets and the engine specs for a 1994 XJ12 he can damn well remember my birthday! :mad:
 

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Mostly a good list! Some are very true and can have almost ludicrous consequences.
Of course though some I think are a little dumb, or otherwise bother me.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
Well good for you, assuming I'm satisfied just because sexual fluids are released.
No, really, just because I came doesn't mean I had an orgasm. An orgasm for me involves intense sensations I feel near my prostate and sometimes even around nerves near my tailbone. Cumming just involves an adequate amount of friction to my sex organ.
Ejaculation = not necessarily and orgasm.


20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win
Sigh, how true. As Chris Rock said, "We can't win arguments with women, we are not designed to. Why? We try to make sense".
Or something like that. It can really bum me out when a girl won't ever admit they are wrong, but it makes me not want to see them for a long time when they won't even acknowledge that their blatant disagreement is actually inconsiderate and hurts my feelings.
It's a double standard thing, both genders are at least capable of being wrong.
If you can't admit you are wrong, you are a being a bitch or an ass.
If you can't even admit that you could be wrong, or at least are being unreasonable, you are not worth my time.
Do not start with me.
You will not win...

2. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
Nah, not really. I'm told I rule at oral, but I still get the teeth. In my case it means my gf really likes grazing and nipping, and I tell her not to use teeth too much because it hurts me, but a little once in a while isn't too bad.
Or it could mean that the girl just doesn't know how to give good oral, regardless of how good or bad the guy is.

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
From what I've seen, guy's who don't state that they are terrible dancers and piss themselves with lack-of-confidence are better dancers or at least look like they are better dancers. As long as they don't look at their feet or aren't completely horrible, girls won't be able to tell that much.
And again, like many of these, the double standard.
If a girl was a bad dancer, should the guy want her to say it? Should they wine about how bad they are? Or be so "self-aware" that it ruins their time and probably yours?


46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
46.5. Just because a girl doen't pick up the phone after you call 3 or 4 times, doesn't mean she has been waiting by the phone the whole weekend.
I guess it might make sense if you were away from the phone, or were waiting for caller id to pop up, but if you are just sitting there, listening to the phone ring, ANSWER IT.
Do you want a fucking medal or something?
I don't like talking on the phone too much to begin with, but I especially hate the too-busy-pissing-on-self-to-answer-the-fucking-phone game.

54. Please clean your bathroom before we arrive and make sure there is ample toilet paper available.
True enough. My gf's dog poops on removable pads in her bathroom. It's gross and it always smells bad, but at least she cleans it up frequently.
But why do you need extra toilet paper? If you need more than 2 complete roll during a day visit, you probably have other problems. :)

 

Principessa

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2. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
If I accidentally scrape your cock with my teeth it's because I have a small mouth and your cock is quite girthy. There is no subliminal message or hidden meaning.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

If he sucks at muff diving I let him know at the time. Why wait? I give him tips, point to places I like being touched, licked etc.
 

B_Hung Jon

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When I was young and naive and never had a girlfriend I used to think that sex was better for men and that's why women demanded all this special treatment. Now I know sex can and should be just as good for women as men. But it seems that when some women finally find a guy that they have really good sex with, they still want these extra perks just for being the woman. I think lovers should also be best friends and forget about all this bullshit.

Thanks


I agree completely with Jovial, as usual. A girl is not any better or worse than I am. She deserves the same respectful and loving treatment that I do. Females by their nature are not some "higher life form" just because they have babies. I think women use men's desire for them physically and emotionally as a weapon against us. How many times have I heard the line from a guy "She's pissed at me so she cut me off". Women use sex (or the refusal of it) all the time as a way to punish men. I'm not playing these games any more, and I hope guys wise up to all the manipulation going on. If females don't want to be the equals of men, then they can go take a hike. They certainly will never be my betters.

Also the list sounds like I'm being preached to. I don't need or want to hear it.
:biggrin1:
 

Meniscus

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meniscus

50 things that girls wish guys knew:...
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
I disagree with a number of things on this list, but this one is by far the most removed from reality. Agreed.


Why? Because both men and women lie? I'm not one of those women, I never have been. I present myself honestly online and in real life...

No, wasn't accusing women (in general) or you (in particular) of being dishonest. I was saying that women don't want honesty from men. Not really. Honesty is a somewhat over-rated virtue. For example, honesty would require many men to tell their wives/girlfriends that:
  • Yes, you are fat...AND...I'm attracted to you because you are fat OR I'm not attracted to you anymore because you've let yourself go.
  • No, I don't like your new haircut. It makes you look like a boy...an ugly boy.
  • Your best friend grates on my nerves.
  • You mother is a controlling bitch.
  • You're just like your mother.
  • When we make love, I sometimes fantasize you are someone else, like that women you can't stand from your office who got the promotion you wanted. (She's totally hot.)
  • I hate it when you kiss me in the morning. The dog has better breath.
  • You're not any good at ___________. In fact, I'm better at than you, but I let you do it anyway because I don't want to do it.
  • Your dream of becoming a singer (or artist or novelist) will never come true because you aren't any good, but I pretend to think you're talented because the dream keeps you happy.
  • When we fight and I finally give in and say that you're right, I don't really believe it, I'm just giving in to end the fight. Sometimes at the end of the fight, I'm more certain than I was at the beginning that I'm right and you're wrong. In fact, I've walked away from almost every fight we've ever had pretty confident that you were wrong.
  • You have a lot of dumb ideas, but I nod and smile and pretend to agree because it's easier than trying to explain to you why your idea is dumb.
  • When you express your views about various topics (politics, religion, current events) I frequently disagree with you but I don't say so because I don't want to fight about it.
  • I would be honest with you about all these things if I thought you could handle honesty without taking it personally and getting excessively emotional about it, but you can't. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I were ever really honest with you, I'd end up paying for it for a long, long time. So I'm not honest with you.
In a perfect world, we could handle complete honesty from others, but the fact is that all of us, men as well as women, are far too fragile for that. A certain amount of dishonesty is crucial to the health of any relationship. The trick, I think, I knowing when to be honest, when to remain silent, and when to tell a "white lie." We all screw up. Sometimes we're dishonest when we would have been better off telling the truth, other times we tell the truth when we should've kept our mouths shut. To make this even more difficult and complicated, everyone is different. Some people are more sensitive, whereas others have a thicker-skin. Where the truth might offend one person, another person would feel disrespected by a white lie. What might make one person feel better would piss another person off. Ever person is different, each relationship is different. Over time and after a lot of fights and failures, we get more experienced, learn what to say and what not to say, and eventually find the proper balance necessary to maintaining a healthy relationship.

In general, I think we all just need to be a lot more forgiving of and patient with each other.