50th Anniversary of the Freedom Riders

Thirdlegproduction

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There you go again with all the assumptions but I will explain.

When at work or at school, I have been the one reaching out a hand when people where getting picked on or being excluded wether they were gay or any other minority, trying to set an example for what is right, I had no problems with that because I was able to fit in with any group.

For me, just being nice alone to gay people has resulted in unwanted affection many times. It has nothing to do with a big head or does it always result in getting hit on but it does seem that most of the times I can not be just friendly without them trying to hit on me which makes it quite hard for me to see them as any other person to be honest.

As for the marriage being a catholic concept, this is my belief and we agree to disagree.
 

ColoradoGuy

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I will name the class bully as an example.

I as an outsider can stand up for the people who get picked on but the message will be clearest when the people who are getting picked on fight the bully themselves.

At least this is my believe, I support the fight for justice but I as an outsider should not take the lead.

As for gay people, I'm conflicted as I try to treat them as any other people but it usually results in them trying to hit on me which I do not appreciate, and I don't like how being gay is more about a lifestyle rather then being attracted to the same sex.

I could care less who you make love to and how you do it that is a private thing but being gay has become about a lot more and it often seems like a competition who can be the gayest.

I also think todays marriage is a Christian concept Catholic to be exact, and they dismiss the idea of homosexuality. To me that is like going to the kkk because they make delicious pie.

Why would you want to commit to a service invented by people who despise you?
To each their own I guess.

But therefore I'm quite indifferent, to the gay cause.


You need to reread the posts above yours again, WhiteMonst3r. If you don't feel you should take the lead, you are just a follower. 'Followers' in general, don't go against the crowd, don't voice an opinion, and certainly don't lead. The unfortunate thing about 'followers' is that they stand by the wayside and allow bad things to happen, usually claiming they don't want to get involved.

I don't want to belittle your discomfort about being hit on, but if you're comfortable with your sexuality, you should just consider it a compliment. A simple "sorry, but I play for the other team" is all you have to say. If you're not comfortable with your sexuality and your '100%' straightness, I can understand how somebody hitting on you might make you uncomfortable. I have never -- not once -- met a gay man who didn't respect boundaries. I'm sure it happens but I bet it's very rare; I've lived a lot longer than you have and I can't buy into that as your rationale for being indifferent on this subject.

I'm also sorry to shatter your belief that being gay is "more about a lifestyle rather then being attracted to the same sex" or that being gay "often seems like a competition who can be the gayest". That might be true in your small corner of the world, but my experiences with gay people would not support that. You'll forgive me for saying this, but you sound as though you're just parroting tired, time-worn anti-gay sentiments when you make blanket generalizations like that. These are the same old tunes that are trotted out every time somebody feels their safe, comfortable world might change. Stupid stereotypes still exist in our country about African Americans, too.

It's unfortunate that you're "quite indifferent, to the gay cause." That is an attitude that I think prevails in a lot of western society. I'm optimistic, though. Before the Freedom Riders, many people were quite "indifferent" to the treatment of African Americans in the South and look how far we've come in our country. But we're not there yet... until EVERYONE has equal rights that are respected, NO ONE should be complacent.

You seem like a bright person, but you need to understand that indifference really is, in the best case, ignorance disguised. I hope you'll break outside of your shell and find out what the world is really about. Travel some, make some friends that don't look like you, act like you, or think like you. You might find that as your world expands, your indifference shrinks.
 

luka82

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Love the first huge shiism in Christianity has happened in 1054, when until then one christian church seperated into Catholic and Ortodox church. There are many historical evidence that people married one person before that time;)
 

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For me, just being nice alone to gay people has resulted in unwanted affection many times. It has nothing to do with a big head or does it always result in getting hit on but it does seem that most of the times I can not be just friendly without them trying to hit on me which makes it quite hard for me to see them as any other person to be honest..

Despite your sexual preferences gay people are just like everyone else (as stated by ManlyBanisters). I can understand someone who identifies as straight not wanting sexual advances by another man, but there's no difference between that and being hit on by a woman you don't find sexually attractive either. ColoradoGuy said more than a mouthful and it's all true.
 

Cuddler

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As for the marriage being a catholic concept, this is my belief and we agree to disagree.

Marriages are legally binding contacts that provide many benefits to couples so joined, in taxation, inheritance, immigration, and many others.
That religious groups bless these contracts is irrelevant.
 

Thirdlegproduction

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My small corner of the world happened to be gay capital of the world and the gays I've met have not been respectfull in the way you describe which is the part that bothers me, not so much the flirting part but the fact that no is often not enough.
I'm not the only one either who experiences this lots of straight friends try the same approach but being friendly or just social is often met with flirting how unusual that may be for you.

And the fat or ugly girls who have flirted with me have had the same thing with hearing no. It was not enough to say no. In some cases it was and they were really nice about it too but that is a rare occasion.

Maybe this is attributed to the difference in culture and or age I don't know but I know I'm not making it up.
 

B_VinylBoy

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My small corner of the world happened to be gay capital of the world and the gays I've met have not been respectfull in the way you describe which is the part that bothers me, not so much the flirting part but the fact that no is often not enough.
I'm not the only one either who experiences this lots of straight friends try the same approach but being friendly or just social is often met with flirting how unusual that may be for you.

And the fat or ugly girls who have flirted with me have had the same thing with hearing no. It was not enough to say no. In some cases it was and they were really nice about it too but that is a rare occasion.

Maybe this is attributed to the difference in culture and or age I don't know but I know I'm not making it up.

You really should stop trying to seek validation or sympathy for your social biases here. In a civilized society, we all know that any form of discrimination on the basis of sexual preference is wrong even though it's bound to happen on a regular basis. You don't hold gay men on the same social level as other people and that's your choice to do so. At the same time, you shouldn't be surprised or even shocked at the responses you generate when you post such a sentiment on a message board such as this one. That's not even getting into the whole issue of excessive vanity and self narcissism, suggesting that every gay man you ever encountered in Amsterdam "wanted you".

You've made your point, albeit not a popular one. Now let it go.
 

Thirdlegproduction

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First im not looking for validation or sympathy just expressing why I myself would not stand in the frontlines fighting for gay marriage. You can also choose not to read my posts but telling me what to do and how to do it isnt going to cut it.

And me being vain or narcissistic has nothing to do with any of my experiences with gay people. They are what they are and it has influenced my opinion about gay people.
 

Thirdlegproduction

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Hey, you stole that from me in the boobeh thread!!

Yup I'm a fast learner.

It holds truth

The phylisophical way would have been something along the lines of if you cannot change the situation then look for the change within.

But I like yours better ;)
 

ColoradoGuy

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Yup I'm a fast learner.

It holds truth

The phylisophical way would have been something along the lines of if you cannot change the situation then look for the change within.

But I like yours better ;)

I hope you understand, WhiteMonstr3, that's exactly what people in this thread are trying to do... you fight bigotry and discrimination by talking to one person at a time. We can't be there to change the minds of your friends, but maybe you can. Maybe you see how attitudes of indifference and (apparently) disgust can allow more sinister attitudes of disenfranchisement and discrimination to build and grow unfettered around you. Maybe we're all hoping you gain a little insight or enlightenment and somehow pass it on to your friends.

Your "gay capital of the world" is still just one little corner of the world. Don't assume the rest of the world is a 12th-century city bisected by canals where pot can be smoked in the nearest 'coffeeshop', prostitution is legal, and gays apparently can attack a straight man anytime they happen to come across one. :rolleyes2:

The world is much bigger than you realize. But to put you back on topic, you sort of invited this discussion when you read this Thread and posted:

what are we to fight for in today's era?

I suppose you could have posted that as a legitimate question, but now I wonder if it was simply bait... a platform for you to voice your complaints about gays. Perhaps you saw it as a way to draw a clear line between yourself as a "straight" man and the rest of the Forum participants? It's hard to say. I'd prefer to not read anything devious into it; but I'm smart enough to know that things are not always as they appear.

If you choose to ignore the single biggest bastion of legitimized and legal discrimination in the West, so be it. I guess I have unrealistic expectations of youthful optimism, and while I find it confusing that you'd prefer to legitimize the beliefs and misconceptions of your parents' and grandparents' generations, it is your right to do so.
 

B_VinylBoy

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First im not looking for validation or sympathy just expressing why I myself would not stand in the frontlines fighting for gay marriage. You can also choose not to read my posts but telling me what to do and how to do it isnt going to cut it.

And me being vain or narcissistic has nothing to do with any of my experiences with gay people. They are what they are and it has influenced my opinion about gay people.

Your actions in this thread beg to differ. Also, I never tried to tell you what you should think or that you should be on the front lines fighting for gay marriage. We're all adults on this board and we all know what is right and wrong in a civilized society. But I don't think I'm the only one who is a little put off with the constant anti-gay responses. It's easy to just sit here and say that I don't have to read your responses, but the same goes for you too. You're making it a point to respond to everyone in this thread that has expressed disdain to your opinion. At the same time, you most likely knew what you were typing was going to rustle feathers so let's not act innocent or naive here.

I'll repeat myself... You've made your point, albeit not a popular one. Now let it go.
 

Industrialsize

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First im not looking for validation or sympathy just expressing why I myself would not stand in the frontlines fighting for gay marriage. You can also choose not to read my posts but telling me what to do and how to do it isnt going to cut it.

And me being vain or narcissistic has nothing to do with any of my experiences with gay people. They are what they are and it has influenced my opinion about gay people.
What,EXACTLY, are gay people to you?
 
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