7- year old adopted boy put on a plane back to Russia

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by swordfishME, Apr 10, 2010.

  1. swordfishME

    swordfishME Member

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    #1 swordfishME, Apr 10, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  2. TaigaStar

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    While I think what the grandmother did was completely and utterly wrong, I think your reaction is a touch unrealistic--children that young aren't always the angels they're thought to be. I've known people who were already busted by cops at age 12 for assault and theft. And if the kid was abused by his American family, he may very well have wanted them to die to get the house in some grand delusion or revenge.
     
  3. HazelGod

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    She doesn't sound delusional, she sounds protective of her family...and the child's age has very little to do with a diagnosis of psychopathy. Psychopaths aren't created, they're born...and child or not, I wouldn't have one living in my home where my family sleeps.

    That said, it's unconscionable that these people put a child on a flight to Russia in this manner, and I'm curious to see if they're prosecuted for doing it.
     
  4. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    Sounds more like a mad American family than a disruptive Russian child: he was part of their family as soon as they signed the papers. I am sure his new Russian foster parents will be loving, and more important well adjusted.
     
  5. camper joe

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    I feel bad for the child. Life in Russia isn't easy under the best of circumstances. Now given a lapel this child will have an even more of a challenge. Hopefully he'll received the necessary counsel he will need.
     
  6. conntom

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    I would have done the same thing.

    I do feel bad for the kid....but I would have done the same thing.
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    This is really difficult for me to comment on objectively because I don't know all the facts. I think it's a bit naive to believe that adopting an older child from another country is not going to come with a little baggage. However I would like to know what if any intervention they attempted to help the child. There is one of the most wonderful facilities in the country in Knoxville that work with troubled, neglected and abused children.
    I don't know if any protocol was followed with the adoption agency in Russia. I don't feel like we are getting all the details with this. The woman in Tennessee claims she was lied to about the child's psychological history. I don't know if that's true or not. It would seem that both sides in this are culpable if that is true.
    All of that aside he should not have been put on a flight alone.
     
  8. Icantthinkofaname

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    The boy verbally threatened to burn the house down while the woman and her daughter were inside and drew pictures of himself doing so, now I'm a firm believer in therapy and I do think it would've been a major help in this boy's case I can't say I wouldn't have tried to send him back to the adoption agency. Especially if I had been misled about the child's mental state and was far from adequately prepared to handle it.

    That said, come the fuck on, you don't just arbitrarily send a kid on an international flight alone! And she was going off of the advice of a lawyer she found online? Seriously? Well I hope their sketchy ass handles criminal law cause she's going to need it.
     
  9. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    I would assume that adoption is a very emotional experience for everyone involved. Especially to a young child from a foriegn country. The fact that the family who adopted him sent him back is horrible. A child should not be considered a type of commidity to be bought and then returned later when you discover you don't really like it afterall. Biological children can also be violent. This young man has surely been scarred for life. I wonder what he will think of the family as a grown man.
     
  10. Charles Finn

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    I can only speak of my own experience when it comes to adoption.
    I was angry for decades before I let go of the anger I had help and I am now 42 that is so sad to hear Adoption is hard enough without just sending him back.
    did they even try to get him some counseling?
     
  11. Deno

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    I worked in a print shop that made airline baggage tags for southwest and other companies and we made plenty of documents for Unaccompanied minors. This may sound rare but it is not. Many children are put on airplanes by them selves so this is not something to be horrified about. Someone was paid to pick the boy up at the airport and deliver him back to the proper authorities. So outside of giving up on the child which parents do every day all around the world, I don't see the big deal here. Yes, I feel sorry for the boy but to drag this family into a witch hunt is just crazy to me.
     
  12. DiscoBoy

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    That child's going to be a seriously fucked up adult-- sociopath or not.
     
  13. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    From what I have read it sounds like the "family" didn't communicate that there were any problems before they decided to send the child back on the plane to Russia.

    And I read that the adoptive mother was trying to adopt another child from Russia and that the process is already in motion. What is up with that?

    I believe the family should have called the adoption agency first and then maybe child protective services in their state. Maybe this family was not the best fit for this child. I would at least expect the family to try to get the child some help instead of sending him back to Russia. Maybe there would be parents who have experience helping children that have problems. Or at least parents that don't have any other children in the home so they could focus on the child and get him whatever help that he needs.

    Anyone adopting an older child needs to be prepared. There is no telling what the children have been through. It is normal to have an adjustment period where the child is pushing your limits and testing to see what they can get away with. Heck all kids do that, these kids are just making up for lost time.

    I would just like to see if this family ever gets to adopt any more kids or if they are going to get red flagged. I don't think they should.

    And about the grandmother putting the boy on the plane and paying someone to meet the boy. If they really thought the boy was a sociopath, I can't imagine putting him on the plane all alone. The grandmother could have flown with him and then flown back. If they were so worried about the kid blowing up their house in their sleep, wouldn't they want to keep an eye on him so he doesn't hurt anybody or blow up the plane? After all they signed all the paperwork and they are legally responsible for him and his actions.

    My 2 cents and my opinion.
     
  14. BS76

    BS76 Active Member

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    Food for thought:

    American Mother Claims Adopted Russian Son Abusive, Sends Him Back

    Read the comments too, they make some good points regarding the double standard at play in this case. For example:

     
    #14 BS76, Apr 14, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2010
  15. D_Tully Tunnelrat

    D_Tully Tunnelrat New Member

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    Agreed on both points.

    Whether the child was a sociopath or not, its one thing to send a child among loving relatives, it's quite another to ship him back to "a country," with no one to receive, feed and care for him. I did read the "mother" paid some one $200 to escort the child over... but still there is something very wrong in the whole scenario. Did not the adoptive mother go over and visit with the child before adopting him? Surely that would have given her some idea of at least character, if not some bonding experience.

    I know that the region the child comes from, Vladivostok, it's in Russia's Far East, and is a wild west show, with lots of drugs, which was the birth mother's dependency, and why the child had become a ward of the state.

    A nasty business, and a big trauma for the kid, as if he did not have enough already.
     
  16. gingerale

    gingerale New Member

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    I don't understand why she would adopt a child of that age from Russia if she wanted a kid without problems. Reports have been out for years about behavioral problems of older children from Russian orphanages. Even some of the toddlers have problems.

    I have no sympathy for the woman--violent kid or not. People have biological children who are violent and make threats, and they can't just decide they no long want to be a parent and toss the children aside. She only had him, what, six months? I wonder if she even tried to get him treatment or counseling. A part of me thinks she just wanted to get him out of the way so she could get another kid.
     
  17. bigbull29

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    Exactly!

    I don't believe anyone has a clear picture of the situation. Russia is a very corrupt country with lots of orphaned children. It's possible the boy had horrible psychological problems and the adoption agency over there lied about it. I'm not saying the grandmother is completely without fault, however.

    Yes, foster parents return children all the time if they can't handle the child.

    Life is hard. Just pray you have a loving family in life. It's everything. God bless those who don't.
     
  18. Viking_UK

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    Agreed.

    Adopting an older child can be traumatic enough at the best of times. Add in the fact that it's a foreign adoption and you add all kinds of different layers, including language and cultural differences on top of the kid's insecurities and existing emotional baggage. There's no way an agency would just hand over a kid on first meeting - of if they did, they should be closed down. She must have met him a few times before becoming his guardian.

    What I find hardest to believe is that the woman was actually trying to adopt another child while not being able to cope with the one she already had - or was that her plan, get kids on a trial basis until she found one she liked?
     
  19. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    The news reports say that she never told the adoption agency anything was wrong and even stopped communicating with them. A few months later, she put him on an airplane to a Russian governmental agency along with a note! A note?! She even refuses to speak with the police. I wonder if she has a mental disability as these actions are so bizzare it's impossible to find a hint of rational actions or common sense. Russia has stopped all adoptions to America. This is so very sad! I wonder if she can be charged with Abandonment? Even though she paid someone to pick him up from the airport, anything could have happened to the child and no one there would have known since he was not expected. She has another child and I hope DSS has made a visit to her house by now.
     
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