A bit soppy. Not to be sexist but ur thoughts ladies only please

[B_cosmognosis]

The key to any compliment, whether to the opposite sex or not, whether it's sexual or not, is this: you have to be genuine when you say it, and you have to expect nothing in return.

^^^^^A man who gets it.

The OP almost seemed like he needed a woman's permission to pay her a compliment. He suffers from a common 'beta' trait of spending too much time inside his own head over-analyzing to take any actions in the real world for fear of the consequences or worrying about what others will think.

 

[B_subgirrl]

The OP almost seemed like he needed a woman's permission to pay her a compliment. He suffers from a common 'beta' trait of spending too much time inside his own head over-analyzing to take any actions in the real world for fear of the consequences or worrying about what others will think.

Or he's a nice guy who actually gives a shit about other people's feelings.

 

[JC8]

Good advice so far from most of the ladies. For the guys, I'd say it's best to give the compliment, but it helps to be confident.

When you're comfortable in your own skin, the more in control, confident, and at ease you are, the better a sincere compliment comes across.

 

[JC8]

Or he's a nice guy who actually gives a shit about other people's feelings.

It can be both.

Some men are leering assholes, some men are just confident guys, some men are up in their head, especially because of the over-reaction by feminists to the the first type.

It's cool he asked, but it's not wrong to point out that because he's asking, that might be part of why he could get a bad reaction when giving a simple compliment that should do nothing but brighten another human's day.

My tip to everyone is more eye contact, more smiles, more simple, passing "Hello's".

Sure, you may end up attracting a random serial killing stalker and find yourself chopped into pieces in a dumpster ... but think of all the good will you provided prior to then.

 

[B_cosmognosis]

It can be both.

Some men are leering assholes, some men are just confident guys, some men are up in their head, especially because of the over-reaction by feminists to the the first type.

It's cool he asked, but it's not wrong to point out that because he's asking, that might be part of why he could get a bad reaction when giving a simple compliment that should do nothing but brighten another human's day.

My tip to everyone is more eye contact, more smiles, more simple, passing "Hello's".

Sure, you may end up attracting a random serial killing stalker and find yourself chopped into pieces in a dumpster ... but think of all the good will you provided prior to then.

Great understanding demonstrated here. There's being a nice guy and then there's being so afraid to offend anyone that you aren't able to express yourself or be socially competent. What I'm about to say will sound sexist (good thing I don't care, right?) but women don't understand what this sort of anxiety feels like. They aren't pressured to be this magical mix of nice guy and aggressive alpha, a situation which leaves some guys hopping from one foot to the other instead of putting one foot in front of the other, i.e. making progress.

 

[paigexox]

The key to any compliment, whether to the opposite sex or not, whether it's sexual or not, is this: you have to be genuine when you say it, and you have to expect nothing in return.

One of the peculiarities among humans when dealing with flattery is just the opposite. So long as the delivery is the same, false flattery has the exact same impact as the genuine sort.

It's an ollllld trick among people seeking compliance.

 

[JC8]

One of the peculiarities among humans when dealing with flattery is just the opposite. So long as the delivery is the same, false flattery has the exact same impact as the genuine sort.

It's an ollllld trick among people seeking compliance.

Quite true. However, if the impact is making someone feel good, as opposed to ending up in the bin, what's the harm?

I've occasionally gone out of my way to put a better spin on something just to make a stranger or a friend feel better about themselves, just for the sake of it. I do benefit by them feeling better about themselves which in turns make them appreciate me, but who benefits more? Who cares if two benefit?

 

[paigexox]

Depends.

If you just want to temporarily ingratiate yourself, then it really won't matter either way. However, if the motives are long term, being genuine gains importance since a person might come to see the underlying, disingenuous side of the matter through multiple exposures to that behavior.

 

[JC8]

Indeed, there's the temporary gains viewpoint, and as an accurate and important distinction as it is, another approach is if the disingenuity is of a nature that's consistently minor and delivered with the ends of improving one's mood, I'm going to go with that over the alternative (holy run-on sentence).

That said, it's a lack of candor (as your aptly used word indicates), not necessarily outright deceit.

So many people already read actions and words of others through a negative lens, if I can bend the frame in such a way that alters the lens, I'll do it.

 

[skip22h]

Or he's a nice guy who actually gives a shit about other people's feelings.

Thank you subgirrl. Im hoping its more of what you say than what the other guy said:wink:

 

[B_subgirrl]

Thank you subgirrl. Im hoping its more of what you say than what the other guy said:wink:

You're welcome :smile:.

 

[Luvhmlrg]

I simply say "Thank you" and leave it at that. If the person who said it is "creepy" I will avoid them weather they compliment me or not, that's just how I am. I understand what the op means, some people think anything said to them is a 'come on', others graciously accept it as it's intended and some expect it. I think the best thing is to keep it simple and sincere.
My husband has said it's too bad that you can't openly compliment women and have them accept it as a compliment not a come on. Meaning if he sees a pretty women, he can't just say "you are very pretty" or to a women with nice breast that she has on 'display', "you have nice breast".
It's funny how we put our best features out there, but expect men not to say anything about them.

 

[skip22h]

My husband has said it's too bad that you can't openly compliment women and have them accept it as a compliment not a come on. Meaning if he sees a pretty women, he can't just say "you are very pretty" or to a women with nice breast that she has on 'display', "you have nice breast".
It's funny how we put our best features out there, but expect men not to say anything about them.

I dont know if I would go as far as complimenting a girl on her breasts

I think that maybe is a little too personal for a stranger and an older one at that to be saying but I see ur point about girls who put there features out there