a couple of bad ones

chuck216

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A young couple had just gotten married even though neither had seen the other nude.
The man says to his new bride "Honey there's something I have to tell you before you see me naked"
The bride says "What is it my love?"
The man responds "Well I don't know how to say this, but I'm hung like a baby"
The wife just says "it's ok honey I married you for love"
Later that night the two are gettting undressed and the wife's jaw drops and her eyes go wide open as she sees the largest penis she could possibly imagine on her new husband.
She say's "I thought you told me you were hung like a baby!"
He replies "I am... 19 and a half inches long, 8 pounds 7 ounces"

Another one:


A cowboy is out on his ranch riding his horse when he comes upon a magic lamp, which he of course rubs. The genie comes out and the cowboy says "I know how this works.. I get 3 wishes"
The genie says "You're correct but make sure you know exactly what you're wishing for" The man says "I know exactly what I want" First I want my old house turned into a fifty room mansion with all the rooms filled with money" Second I want my wife turned into the most beautiful, sexy woman in the world and third I want to be hung like my horse"
The Genie replies "Are you sure this is what you want?"
He replies "Absolutely"
He then rides back up to the house which is now a splendid Mansion, walks in the door to find his now gorgeous wife literally sitting on plies of money" She says "this is amazing" He replies "You haven't seen anything yet" as he pulls off his pants at which point his wife just gasps. Then he looks down to admire himself and says "Oh fuck I was riding the mare today"