So, after 19 years of marriage I find myself at a point where I finally came to the realization that the relationship is over. When I told my wife this, she ultimately decided that she wouldn't let it happen. We have minor children and of course their needs and happiness are of primary importance to my wife and I. I'm uncertain of what the future holds for my marriage but am desirous of doing what's best for our kids. This has presented numerous difficulties but one selfish one for which I seek your input. Since the situation in which we find ourselves has come to a head, my wife and I have not had sex. She would absolutely not refuse me were I to initiate such intimacy. However, where I am uncertain of how I want the relationship to proceed, I feel that if I were to have sex with her I'd be "leading her on" or at least suggesting that I am committed to making the marriage work - whatever that might mean. As such I feel like I'd be cheating on her if I did sleep with her. I really could use the sex but I don't want it to be construed as anything more at this point. Also, I think a conversation along the lines of "we can sleep together but it changes nothing and we'll just have to see what happens" is callous. So do I remain celibate until we decide where the marriage is going or have "meaningless sex" with my wife? Life sure presents unexpected challenges.