A Discussion on the Sexual Personality

oasi86

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First off Great thread.

I am a straight male who if I can not be modest for a while am the quintessential nice guy. at 25 I am the pride of my parents and the hope of my community. I have been described as Elegant, Classy, Cultured, Respectful, Noble by almost everyone who meets me. But sexually I love all manner of pornographic dirty nasty sex. I am not turned off by anything. Peeing on or being peed on doesn't turn me off. Dominating or being dominated. smells, sounds, shiting, whips chains, if a woman wants to finger my ass or stuff something up there then whatever, Fucking in Public, Fucking older women I down for doing any of these things if the opportunity presented itself and my partner is willing. I am a giver in bed so I hate to know that my partner feels uncomfortable because she thinks I would be freaked out by what she wants to do.

The thing is no one even believes i am capable of those things. Women usually believe they know what they are going to get with me in bed and then we get there and they are completely shocked by how grungy I can be.

It isn't a case though that I am trying to hide that side of me it is just that in regular every day interactions I don't need to be that sexually open guy. I like being more upstanding in public and that is me it is just that in a sexual context I just get as sexually open as my partner is willing to go and if she is willing to go to the enth degree then so be it.

It's crazy that this thread is popping up because I am leaving on vacation soon to explore my wild side. No underwear will be brought on this trip exhibitionism and voyeurism is the game. In a safe manner of course but 3 weeks in another country where no one knows you allows you to live that sexual side in the open a bit more.

By the way I hope I didn't freak anyone out lol
 

D_GlennFeckless

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The human animal, like a pool of water, seeks balance in order to truly be something of value. Open a floodgate and there's an imbalance of pressure, and it flows to regain it. If a person doesn't find that balance, IMO, they're more likely to be truly unhappy or possibly go off the deep end at some point.

The CEO sub is a great example. He doesn't have that balance during the day, so he needs to heavily tip the scale in the other direction at night. Some drink to excess and lose control, others prefer to give up the control to a mistrees, master, etc.

Most folks keep a line between their sex life & their "day" life, so when one or the other starts to go astray, it is usually reflected, inversely, on the other side of that line. Sometimes it's a routine flip-flop, other times it builds up until there's an opportunity for release.

Enjoy that vacation from this side of the line, oasi86!
 

cece

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We have different "sex" and "real life" personalities because each of them is controlled by a different brain. In real life, we think with the brains that lie beneath our skulls. In sex mode, we think with our penises and vaginas. :biggrin1:

It's probably social conditioning. We are expected to behave a certain way when we interact socially. Heck! We can't even burp out loud in most cultures even though it's completely natural. But in private we can let all our inhibitions out and experience things we never get a chance in real life.
 

DiabloBoi

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i find that the juxtaposition between generally projected social personality and sexual attitude, is completely subjective.

some boastful people can be timid in bed, some unassuming people can be wilfdire when the fuck, and the rare (and in my opinion best) types, are who they claim/seem to be, in both situations.

human psychology is complex and not exact. is this really interesting or unobvious?
 

hungboy18

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We always try to find balance, we look for ways to fill the holes (you know what I mean), what's missing, and find alternatives to our problems/needs...

If you're not in control at work you'll probably try to be the boss somewhere else, if you're in a bad relationship you might find comfort in your friends...
 
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EllieP

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Cap and I have this discussion a lot. When we were first together he was somewhat surprised that I would like sex so much. I couldn't even fathom what he was talking about. But then he said he thought it was unusual that someone who looks like me would be wild in bed. Looks like me????

Basically, what he was saying that, his words, "Pretty girls" don't usually care for sex. I have absolutely no idea where he got that from! LOL!

What he was getting at is that because attractive, overly-buxom women with professional attitudes are usually striving to go against stereotype.

I asked him "so, that means we're not supposed to want to have sex or we're supposed to act like we're asexual?" He said that we're supposed to ACT like we don't want to have sex because that would be so stereotypical. Something about Mae West and her flirtatious ways. Well, I flirt a lot, too, but on a much more innocent scale.

Men have some weird ideas, sometimes. Or maybe it's just him. But why in the world would he think I wouldn't enjoy sex! Holy cow, I think good sex is not only fantastic but necessary!
 

B_subgirrl

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Devil's advocate statement:

Would it be presumptuous to say that what we want in sex is what we really want in life....
or is it better that we live with this duality?

Yes, it would be presumptuous. Can't speak for anyone else, but I most certainly do not want people in general (in life) to treat me the way I want to be treated during sex. I have no urge to be submissive in life. I am VERY far from having a submissive type of personality in everyday life, and I do not want that to change.
 
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Devil's advocate statement:

Would it be presumptuous to say that what we want in sex is what we really want in life....

Or do we want in sex what we don't get in real life?

I had a friend who advised me "Treat a whore like a princess and a princess like a whore"...meaning, treat a girl nicely who rarely gets treated well, and treat a girl who has everything with an edge. A businessman who has a great deal of power might enjoy letting go of power during sex, or a guy who gets no respect at all in real life might enjoy being a bull to a cucking couple.

Those polar opposites aside, there are other spectra of people who have well-explored sexuality versus those of us who have unexplored sexualities. Not to mention those with sexual identities that don't match up with their real life well (straight guys who wear dresses or college jocks who want dads).

It all confuses the fuck out of me.
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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The human animal, like a pool of water, seeks balance in order to truly be something of value. Open a floodgate and there's an imbalance of pressure, and it flows to regain it. If a person doesn't find that balance, IMO, they're more likely to be truly unhappy or possibly go off the deep end at some point.

The CEO sub is a great example. He doesn't have that balance during the day, so he needs to heavily tip the scale in the other direction at night. Some drink to excess and lose control, others prefer to give up the control to a mistrees, master, etc.

Most folks keep a line between their sex life & their "day" life, so when one or the other starts to go astray, it is usually reflected, inversely, on the other side of that line. Sometimes it's a routine flip-flop, other times it builds up until there's an opportunity for release.

Enjoy that vacation from this side of the line, oasi86!


Spot on. This describes me perfectly, only I doubt I would have been able to put it so succinctly.

My sexual personality at the core is passionate and intense, which is reflective of my personality outside the bedroom. However, those elements are in a constantly state of flux, affected by mood, hormones, life circumstances, partner, and most importantly that driving need to rebalance myself. Sometimes I need a loving, attentive hand. Other times I need a brutal thrashing to work out my frustrations.

Thanks for the great post, fooobar.
 

Exbiker

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I'm seeing one of my slaves tomorrow. I'll be in leather. I'll whip him probably, certainly clamp his nipples, and fuck him hard in mouth and ass. He'll be talked down to, made to kneel, handcuffed. Might get pissed on.

But in other contexts I wear business suits and smile a lot. I use big words, and enjoy gardening, baking, and dog walking...

"I contain multitudes". Was that Whitman?
 

ThatFellaUK

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Humans are complex beings. We have a multiple sides to ourselves and I woulda thought it's impossible to 'be' all facets of ourselves at all times. The social/physical/intellectual/sexual/emotional aspects come out stronger in different situations, depending on the need.

I would say that projecting one or some but not others is just as result of the circumstances and doesn't make you disingenuous.

For example, I work as a consultant. I'm suited and booted and to my clients, someone they trust to provide objectivity to improve their workplace. My rampant, experimental sex life has exactly zero to do with their business, so why would I impose my sexuality on this situation simply to show my 'true' self?? It's no less true at work anyway.

Similar to the fact that I have addictions. I don't go around with a picket sign just so that people know. I'm honest with myself and with those I feel need to know.
 

HappyHoot

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I've tried to incorporate my sexual and public self as much as I could. Growing up gay is a recipe for compartmentalization and shame and I felt when I was in my 20s like Jekyll and Hyde.

I try to choose my sexual activities based on how authentic I can be as a person in them. One thing I like is being verbal. Words have power and I like telling someone what I like and what I want and what I am feeling and I like hearing the same!