a dying friend

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Charles Finn, Jan 24, 2009.

  1. Charles Finn

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    I just found out I will be going to Toledo Ohio to help care for a dying friend I will be gone for as little as a few days or as many as a few week.
    I am excited to go but sad at the same time I am blessed that they asked me.
    it is my aunts ex husband and his lover they have been together as long as i can remember. I have fond memories of spending time with them and even going trick or treating with them.
    they are both very open and I am really looking forward to this even though I know the outcome.
    the one that is dying shares my name
    he is Chuck and i am Charles and his lover is Carl.
    Chuck is the one dying it is just a matter of time.
    so i have to pack and get ready to go.
     
  2. novice_btm

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    Deepest wishes of condolences and strength to you.
     
  3. nitsud

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    at least you are able to prepare a head of time. I never got to say what I wanted with my sister before she passed away.
     
  4. Principessa

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle's lover dying.
    I hope that you are able to give him comfort and love in his last days.:cool:
     
  5. Charles Finn

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    thanks
    i try to remember to tell those I love them in case I do not get to see them again.
    I am only 41 but I was always the youngest so I grew up with death.
    it hits my life really bad about every 10 years.
    I was there to get to say goodbye to my grandmother held her hand and told her to go in peace.
    I still miss her but I try to remember the things she taught me.
    I still pick up pennies because of her.
     
  6. B_pinoyurge

    B_pinoyurge New Member

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    sad to hear that one.
     
  7. transformer_99

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    A few days or weeks ? Prepare yourself for what might be the worst experience you've probably gone thru in this lifetime. Hospice isn't a good thing. And if someone hasn't prepared you for this they need to at least tell you what is going on, so you can research it and know what to expect, even though it may not fully prepare you ? But who ever really is ? Fully prepared that is.

    Hospice
     
  8. Charles Finn

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    well i am actually looking forward to going.
    I went through this last year when one of my best female friends died.
    I just have to be there for him at night I get my own room food and a bit of spending money.
    death is part of the circle of life.
    the worst was when my grandmother my mothers mother died and I did not get to say goodbye but I did go to her funeral and i took the advantage of it to tell my grandfather what a huge influence he had been on me.
    as far as experience goes I grew up fast and young
    my teachers daughter shot herself accidently when I was in the 5th grade.
    open casket they did a great job on her and i have buried so many friends i am used to it by now.
    we had a killer cook out last fall too we had a friend over she wanted to use the bathroom which is upstairs she got stuck on the stairs and I was called to help i went down the satirs to help and smelled death and went right back upstairs.
    she was gone by 230am
     
  9. Charles Finn

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    I have been through some very rough times
    another time the friends I had lived with their daughter burned up in a fire
    now that was hell
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    Thank you Charles, thank you for doing this and thank you for sharing it with us.

    I hope it goes easy on Chuck and also on you and Carl. I'll say a prayer for you all.
     
  11. Charles Finn

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    thanks for the support I will keep you posted
    I really feel blessed to do this it will not be easy but it will be worth it.
     
  12. Charles Finn

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    I will be going either tomorrow or tuesday
    no internet access there but I will manage
     
  13. D_Andreas Sukov

    D_Andreas Sukov Account Disabled

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    its really sad but luckily you have this time together. go give him a terrific send off and best wishes from all of us here
     
  14. B_mylipswet

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    In your mind until you meet me eye to eye if you d
    It's bittersweet but, be excited about going and helping about going anyway. Enjoy the time you do have together, it won't be long until all you have left are the memories. It's rough I did it too, I took care of my mother's sister and during the process I realized she actually did not even know who I was. I looked into her eyes and asked her if she knew who I was. Her answer was "yes your Betty" when I said "Betty who she would say Betty Crocker. To watch someone die is never easy but, when she did pass I never shed one tear. I was happy she was no longer suffering.
     
  15. Charles Finn

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    yes i am really excited to go I need this to help get me back to abnormal
    I have always thought of myself as a helper.
    after my grandmother died i was doing meals on wheels and it was very healing for me.
    I am a person of peace joy and love
     
  16. D_CountdeGrandePinja

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    Go and be an instrument of peace.
     
  17. beretta8

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    There cannot be a better wish than to be cared for by someone who really loves you.....here's hoping for the most peaceful outcome for your family....stay strong a day at a time...
     
  18. Charles Finn

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    the best part for me is i get to be there I do not have to do meds or anything like that just to keep him company and help uncle carl out as well.
    I really am blessed to be going.
    the hardest part apart from him dying is no access to the internet but I will manage
    lol
    and being a night owl i will sit up with him at night
    I will have my own room food and a little spending money
     
  19. Charles Finn

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    ok update
    I am leaving at 5am I am going with my exhusband taking a friends car up he will drive back.
    no internet access it could be as little as a few days or as much as a few weeks
    I also watched the lifetime movie Prayers For Bobby tears galore
    I am so blessed to be still alive and to have the friends I do.
    thanks for all your support I will let you know when I get back
     
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