"A Failure to Launch": Why Young People are Having Less Sex

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"A Failure to Launch": Why Young People are Having Less Sex

For what researchers say is an array of reasons — including technology, heavy academic schedules and an overall slower-motion process of growing up — millennials and now Gen Zers are having less sex, with fewer partners than their parents’ and grandparents’ generations did. The social isolation and transmission scares of the COVID-19 pandemic have no doubt played a role in the shift. But researchers say that’s not the whole story: The “no rush for sex” trend predates the pandemic, according to a solid body of research.

UCLA has been tracking behavioral trends for years through its annual California Health Interview Survey, the largest state health survey in the nation. It includes questions about sexual activity. In 2021, the survey found, the number of young Californians ages 18 to 30 who reported having no sexual partners in the prior year reached a decade high of 38%. In 2011, 22% of young people reported having no sexual partners during the prior year, and the percentage climbed fairly steadily as the decade progressed. California adults ages 35 to 50 who participated in UCLA’s 2021 survey also registered an increase in abstinence from 2011 to 2021. But with the percentage of “no sex” respondents rising from 9% to 14% during that time frame, the increase was not as pronounced.

Young Californians are having fewer sexual partners​

In a 2021 survey, young people ages 18-30 reported having fewer sexual partners compared to prior years.

The broader trend of young adults forgoing sex holds true nationally. The University of Chicago’s General Social Survey — which has been following shifts in Americans’ behavioral trends for decades — found that 3 in 10 Generation Z males, ages 18 to 25, surveyed in 2021 reported having gone without sex the prior year. One in four Gen Z women also reported having had no sex the prior year, according to Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor who reviewed the data for her book "Generations".

In an age where hook-ups might seem as unlimited as a right swipe on a dating app, it’s easy to assume that Gen Z “should be having the time of their lives sexually,” Twenge said. But that’s not how it’s playing out. Twenge said the decline has been underway for roughly two decades.
She attributed the slowdown in sexual relations most significantly to what she calls the “slow-life factor.” Young people just aren’t growing up as fast as they once did. They’re delaying big milestones such as getting their driver’s licenses and going to college. And they’re living at home with their parents a lot longer.
 

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There's gender disparity that isn't really gone into detail here. Women are having slightly less sex overall, but are having it with a smaller and smaller pool of men, the other majority of which aren't having regular sex at all. The utility of men has been somewhat replaced by the government and social services, and the autonomy ushered in by decades of feminism means women are no longer widely exchanging sexual access for said utility, but instead can reserve their sexual preferences for the microscopic sliver of men they find attractive. That itself will bring down the amount of Gen Z men having sex, but since the small sliver of men who are having sex have no real incentive to offer commitment or respect for said access, you'll get a number of women who will put off sex completely because abstinence/celibacy is considered the only available option binary to the perils of attractive men, the settling for average men not even being considered.
 

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That's the dirty little disingenuous secret about articles like OP: they take a blanket number and completely ignore important metrics of opportunity and preference and how they factor into an overall lesser number of GenZs having sex. GenZ females are only having less sex because they prefer less of men to have sex with. GenZ males are only having less sex because women are collectively affording them fewer and fewer opportunities to do so.
I think in an effort to avoid finger pointing, or accusations of accountability for the social issues that inevitably stem from people having less sex, it becomes really easy to imply some sense of equivocation as a means of euphemism.
 
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elklindoxxx

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It's rare to see a couple under 30 in the swinger community. We had a couple in their late 20s who were regulars but they moved out of town sometime last year. Other than that, we don't get younger couples in the lifestyle very frequently....
 

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It's rare to see a couple under 30 in the swinger community. We had a couple in their late 20s who were regulars but they moved out of town sometime last year. Other than that, we don't get younger couples in the lifestyle very frequently....
That's because swinging has always existed with a patriarchal or egalitarian slant. Now it's being replaced by varying degrees of cuckoldry and gynocentric nonmonogamy. The swinger parties of the future are just going to be a bunch of women and 2-3 extremely desirable men they'll share..
Social media... 100%. In almost EVERY SINGLE social situation, faces are planted looking at phone screens. Completely unaware of the present tense they are living in.
There are more things to keep people entertained and busy now days.

Given how many men are afforded so few mating and dating opportunities I think this is the dark horse savior of humanity so far. In times past, an overabundance of men without sexual/romantic opportunities was the reliable precursor to war, strife and generally swift societal decay(which ultimately always resulted in the loss of agency and autonomy of women as well). We should thank our lucky stars men have opted for sedation offered by social media and technology and maintained some sembalance of functional society, instead of doing what we've always done.
 

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Given how many men are afforded so few mating and dating opportunities I think this is the dark horse savior of humanity so far. In times past, an overabundance of men without sexual/romantic opportunities was the reliable precursor to war, strife and generally swift societal decay(which ultimately always resulted in the loss of agency and autonomy of women as well). We should thank our lucky stars men have opted for sedation offered by social media and technology and maintained some sembalance of functional society, instead of doing what we've always done.
I don't buy that "men are afforded so few mating and dating opportunities." The opportunities are abundant. You have to put yourself out there. Using social media can never replace in person socializing. But maybe it has... I hope not.
 
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elklindoxxx

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I don't buy that "men are afforded so few mating and dating opportunities." The opportunities are abundant. You have to put yourself out there. Using social media can never replace in person socializing. But maybe it has... I hope not.
My partner's biggest grievance is the lack of quality men. That is, she tells me that alot of guys are fat, out of shape and don't take care of themselves, especially the younger ones. Not to mention the awful personalities.

She is a very easy woman, but she does have her minimum requirements and that is for a guy to be put well together.
 
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Sagittarius84

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I don't buy that "men are afforded so few mating and dating opportunities." The opportunities are abundant. You have to put yourself out there. Using social media can never replace in person socializing. But maybe it has... I hope not.
You've inadvertently exposed the current business model of the small portion of advertising still aimed at men exclusively. "Putting yourself out there" was only really effective in yrs past because of necessity dictated that women at large had to sacrifice their biological preferences for socioeconomic and behavioral benefits. I think the lie we need to collectively stop telling ourselves is that somehow women, unencumbered by socioeconomic or long-term behavioral consequences for their sexual selection, would broaden their attractive scope further as opposed to narrowing it upon a select few men.
As someone that still attracts a healthy amount of mating and dating attention, I also see how maintaining the current dating market with such unsuccessful men is predicated upon convincing them there are opportunities when there are not. A lot of this is because the societal infrastructure that provides for women's agency, autonomy, and convenience is almost solely maintained or helmed by the very men increasingly finding themselves less attractive to women. I think there's a fundamental understanding that if the average man was made truly aware as to how less likely he is to have a successful relationship and family, than the forefathers he outearns, and generally outdoes in every metric including emotional availability, he then would slowly retract from the social contract, and the very infrastructure he helped maintain would begin to crumble.
Our grandfathers, great grand fathers, and so on were on average in worse shape, shorter, less healthy, less educated, earned less, were more prone to substance abuse and being physically abusive, yet they knew with certainty with the bare minimum of a elementary school education, and the willingness to do 40-50hrs of work a week, they'd almost default to getting sexual access, exclusivity, a relationship and multiple children. In exchange they built the modern infrastructure of the West, and took that acquired capital, agency and power and immediately bequeathed it upon the average woman.
My partner's biggest grievance is the lack of quality men. That is, she tells me that alot of guys are fat, out of shape and don't take care of themselves, especially the younger ones. Not to mention the awful personalities.
How do you define quality? Or rather whom defines "quality"? I assume as per this it would be the average woman that defines what would be a quality man, but you'd also have to allow for quality woman to be defined by the average man.
Statistically men on average today are much "better" on every metric women have historically defined us lacking. A lot of this is reflected in the appeal women in 3rd World countries(typically with more traditional values) have for men in 1st World countries(arguably more liberally progressive) One could make an argument that women today are "worse" on average then the women of yesteryear, also reflected by the fact that men of both traditional and modern mindsets both express distaste in the mating and dating market, unless they happen to be a part of the small sliver that excel in it.
The fat, out of shape, listless men are the symptom, not the disease, and I think the only true difference in the supposed lack of quality amongst average men, and the lack of quality amongst average women is that women by default benefit from a gendered disparity in sexual attraction.
 

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You've inadvertently exposed the current business model of the small portion of advertising still aimed at men exclusively. "Putting yourself out there" was only really effective in yrs past because of necessity dictated that women at large had to sacrifice their biological preferences for socioeconomic and behavioral benefits. I think the lie we need to collectively stop telling ourselves is that somehow women, unencumbered by socioeconomic or long-term behavioral consequences for their sexual selection, would broaden their attractive scope further as opposed to narrowing it upon a select few men.
As someone that still attracts a healthy amount of mating and dating attention, I also see how maintaining the current dating market with such unsuccessful men is predicated upon convincing them there are opportunities when there are not. A lot of this is because the societal infrastructure that provides for women's agency, autonomy, and convenience is almost solely maintained or helmed by the very men increasingly finding themselves less attractive to women. I think there's a fundamental understanding that if the average man was made truly aware as to how less likely he is to have a successful relationship and family, than the forefathers he outearns, and generally outdoes in every metric including emotional availability, he then would slowly retract from the social contract, and the very infrastructure he helped maintain would begin to crumble.
Our grandfathers, great grand fathers, and so on were on average in worse shape, shorter, less healthy, less educated, earned less, were more prone to substance abuse and being physically abusive, yet they knew with certainty with the bare minimum of a elementary school education, and the willingness to do 40-50hrs of work a week, they'd almost default to getting sexual access, exclusivity, a relationship and multiple children. In exchange they built the modern infrastructure of the West, and took that acquired capital, agency and power and immediately bequeathed it upon the average woman.

How do you define quality? Or rather whom defines "quality"? I assume as per this it would be the average woman that defines what would be a quality man, but you'd also have to allow for quality woman to be defined by the average man.
Statistically men on average today are much "better" on every metric women have historically defined us lacking. A lot of this is reflected in the appeal women in 3rd World countries(typically with more traditional values) have for men in 1st World countries(arguably more liberally progressive) One could make an argument that women today are "worse" on average then the women of yesteryear, also reflected by the fact that men of both traditional and modern mindsets both express distaste in the mating and dating market, unless they happen to be a part of the small sliver that excel in it.
The fat, out of shape, listless men are the symptom, not the disease, and I think the only true difference in the supposed lack of quality amongst average men, and the lack of quality amongst average women is that women by default benefit from a gendered disparity in sexual attraction.
Great debate points... But continue to totally disagree. Face to face interactions are not happening due to social media replacing it. If it's not obvious to you then I can't sway your opinion. Cheers.
 
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I'd also argue that the increase in exurban developments and resulting loss of density in most areas has led to a resultant loss in sexual and romantic contact, as well as social contact overall. The pandemic only exacerbated that trend.

I'd also argue that people are more afraid of each other than before. I think that the focus on crime rates, mass shootings, and the increased visibility of toxic figures like Andr*w Taint has led to a degree of fear that anybody (but mostly men) could make one into a victim (which isn't a wholly unjustified belief- just one traumatic experience can leave one feeling wary and paranoid for the rest of one's life, and given how well abusive people often mask their intentions, I can understand why many decide the risk of dating isn't worth it). This sort of fear also applies to the queer community, given the spate of homophobic hate crimes that have happened in the last few years.

But anyway, to my first point, New York City (and to some extent other walkable cities like San Francisco) has a reputation for being a horny place beyond the fact that it has a bustling queer community, and that's partially due to the increased size of the dating pool (even if a small proportion of people are getting laid overall, the fact is that the proportion is big overall) and the ease with which it is to hook up with someone once you've built an initial connection. It's much easier to go on a date when you have a large variety of places to choose from when meeting up and it costs just the price of a round-trip on public transit to get there.
 

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Great debate points... But continue to totally disagree. Face to face interactions are not happening due to social media replacing it. If it's not obvious to you then I can't sway your opinion. Cheers.
Face to face interactions started to wane before social media was a thing. I'm not saying social media doesn't have a role in maintaining the paradigm, but the market shift predates it, and I'd also argue that much of social convention dissuades most men from initiating face to face interactions unless they are a part of that select few whose interest will most likely be reciprocated.
 

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Face to face interactions started to wane before social media was a thing. I'm not saying social media doesn't have a role in maintaining the paradigm, but the market shift predates it, and I'd also argue that much of social convention dissuades most men from initiating face to face interactions unless they are a part of that select few whose interest will most likely be reciprocated.
So to paraphrase... You say that most young men think they are ugly. Well that is a whole 'nother Oprah. I'm sticking with Social Media.
 
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Men may be having less hetero sex, but that does not mean to say women are. I believe females are more than ever indulging in lesbian sex as it is increasingly seen as more common. It seems more and more males are sliding into an incel group with a small circle of very lucky well endowed males with looks and bodies to match. The incel group seems to have given up and resorted to social media not by preference, but necessity, to maintain some semblance of socialisation. We are still in the first generation of real social media addiction. By giving juveniles a social media interaction alternative to real life socialisation, I think it has encouraged regressive ant-social isolationist behaviour. No wonder females give up in despair and become ambitious and more self supporting if the males are seen to be dodging responsible supporting roles in society. So why not go with what they find attractive? Other females!
 
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Far to much"fun" to be had at the end of a finger as nowadays everyone seems to be glued to a screen.
And naturally sites like this where boasts of sexual prowess and size and performance - exagerted - play into the mind set.
 

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No wonder females give up in despair and become ambitious and more self supporting if the males are seen to be dodging responsible supporting roles in society.
Go ask the average woman between 18-30 her sexual and romantic opinion of the average man that fulfills these roles, and be sure to include the metrics they tend to select from. The average woman is about 5'7" 160 lbs and makes between 29-32k per yr. The average man is 5'9", just over 160lbs and makes 35-42k per yr, and you will be pressed to find the average woman excited about that prospect, far before the metrics of looks and personality come into play.
It's a bit pretentious to say a group of people that regularly opt out of societal infrastructure roles, yet control most of spending dollars, and have the most debt are in a position to be in despair unless they put themselves there by their own preferences and choices.
Or to be all the way fair, if we agree that males by virtue of what women want are not meeting standards, that there's a possibility that females too, by virtue of what men want are not meeting standards as well?
Men's collective tendency to get into the infrastructure of society has almost always been in exchange for more of them to be considered socioeconomically desirable by more women. Now that women no longer have to consider that in mating and dating as most socioeconomic relationship benefits of old are government subsidized, the average man sees societal responsibility as a an effort they pay into, but do not benefit from, at least not in the way of old. All of this is bolstered by the "powers that be" figuring out really quickly that a populace of average men and women having success in relationships made for upwardly mobile, and therefore uncontrollable, demographics. A great way to redistribute wealth and power back from the masses is to determine which of the masses is more prone to give that right money back at the first opportunity without bothering to generate enough to replace it. Where the average man has historically failed emotionally as a partner they made up for in establishing socioeconomic foundation and generational wealth via family and infrastructure. Where the average woman of today is excelling in discerning the emotional health of family, and using their autonomy and agency to opt out if they find aspects or the construct itself averse, most of the socioeconomic foundation and generational wealth flows right back to the few via consumerism, hence the aim of most advertising.
 

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And before anyone chimes in to imply I'm assigning blame, I'm simply laying out the facts; a lot of the sex that young people were having in the yrs past was a form of socioeconomic exchange, which is thankfully no longer a necessity today. But history has been defined by a trend by which the more sexual and relationship opportunities afforded to the average man, the more families and communities built which collectively wrested socioeconomic capital and power from the few, which in turn tended to benefit the average woman by way of increased agency, autonomy, and rights. Modern society is defined by that synergy not being reversible, in that collectively women afford fewer sexual and relationship opportunities to the average man the more agency, autonomy, and rights she gains.
One of the of the correlations of a wealth gap exacerbated by widespread consumerism and debt, is an ambition gap in young men, and when average is no longer attractive they will either lean into sub par or above average as their goal...hence why a lot of women report men as either totally ambitionless or sociopathically ambitious with little regard for the degrees between.
 

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From a Los Angeles Times article (shortened for brevity):

For what researchers say is an array of reasons — including technology, heavy academic schedules and an overall slower-motion process of growing up — millennials and now Gen Zers are having less sex, with fewer partners, than their parents’ and grandparents’ generations did. The social isolation and transmission scares of the COVID-19 pandemic have no doubt played a role in the shift. But researchers say that’s not the whole story: The “no rush for sex” trend predates the pandemic, according to a solid body of research.

The University of Chicago’s General Social Survey — which has been following shifts in Americans’ behavioral trends for decades — found that 3 in 10 Generation Z males, ages 18 to 25, surveyed in 2021 reported having gone without sex the prior year. One in four Gen Z women also reported having had no sex the prior year, according to Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor who reviewed the data for her book “Generations.”

In an age where hook-ups might seem as unlimited as a right swipe on a dating app, it’s easy to assume that Gen Z “should be having the time of their lives sexually,” Twenge said.

But that’s not how it’s playing out. Twenge said the decline has been underway for roughly two decades.

She attributed the slowdown in sexual relations most significantly to what she calls the “slow-life factor.” Young people just aren’t growing up as fast as they once did. They’re delaying big milestones such as getting their driver’s licenses and going to college. And they’re living at home with their parents a lot longer.


“In times and places where people live longer and education takes longer, the whole developmental trajectory slows down,” she said. “And so for teens and young adults, one place that you’re going to notice that is in terms of dating and romantic relationships and sexuality.”

A slight majority of 18- to 30-year-olds — about 52% — reported having one sexual partner in 2021, a decrease from 2020, according to the UCLA survey. The proportion of young adults who reported having two or more sexual partners also declined, from 23% in 2011 to 10% in 2021.

Though sex was on the decline in the years leading into the pandemic, COVID-19 made dating trickier.

Many people tightened their social circles when the pandemic surged in 2020 and 2021. And young people’s reliance on cellphones and apps for their social interactions only intensified when in-person meet-ups posed a risk of serious illness.

In general, people coming of age in an era of dating apps say the notion of starting a relationship with someone they meet in person — say a chance encounter at a bar or dance club — seems like a piece of nostalgia. Even friendships are increasingly forged over texting and video chats.

“A lot of young people when you talk to them will say their best friends are people they’ve never met,” said Jessica Borelli, a professor of psychological science at UC Irvine. “Sometimes they live across the country or in other countries, and yet they have these very intimate relationships with them. … The in-person interface is not nearly as essential for the development of intimacy as it might be for older people.”
 

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People live longer. If in times past young couples could establish an socioeconomic foothold by 20 or so you'd end up with about 2 generations of upheaval that could weigh its influence and capital against the chosen few. With today's medicine and lifestyle choices, the average population could have about 4 living generations of wealth and influence to wield. If you're trying to retain power or take it back from a population that has earned it, it behooves you to convince them to take their time when if they followed the methodology of the past they'd wield even more power.
Best way to make a man wait is convince him he's not good enough, best way to make a woman wait is convince her she can do better, and they'll both gladly give back their wealth and power to the powers that be in order to attain it.