A few basic anal sex questions from a noob

[D_Lanksesbye Sleepingrawe]

I will apologize in advance if this had been covered a thousand times, but searching didn't turn up anything easily. Of course I could just be bad at searching.

My wife and I finally found the magic combination of conditions and position to succeed at anal sex. :biggrin1: And now I have a few questions:

1. We are doing it bareback because condoms "feel too damn creepy" (her words) to her, and I don't want to do anything to spoil the recent success. I'm sterile; I'm already being careful to keep any thing anal away from her vagina; and we are careful about being clean. I also make sure to urinate after we're done to flush my urethra. Am I reasonably safe from urinary tract infections?

2. Due to my size, I'm cumming quite deep inside her. To date we have had no leakage. I'm assuming the semen is being absorbed or being passed out later in some reduced state in normal bowel movements. Point being, she can relax right? Nothing is going to come running out of her when she stands up.

3. She's heard that anal sex too frequently will make her incontinent, especially because of my size. Is there any truth to this?

Thanks for your experienced advice.

S_L

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Ok, since no one else is answering:

I will apologize in advance if this had been covered a thousand times, but searching didn't turn up anything easily. Of course I could just be bad at searching.

My wife and I finally found the magic combination of conditions and position to succeed at anal sex. :biggrin1: And now I have a few questions:

1. We are doing it bareback because condoms "feel too damn creepy" (her words) to her, and I don't want to do anything to spoil the recent success. I'm sterile; I'm already being careful to keep any thing anal away from her vagina; and we are careful about being clean. I also make sure to urinate after we're done to flush my urethra. Am I reasonably safe from urinary tract infections?

Urinating after bareback anal is a good way to reduce the risk of an UTI. However, thereis the chance you may get one. Tjis is largely dependent on your own health and immune system. I have a friend who has barebaked with his wife anally and does what you do, and he has never, according to him, had an UTI. He also says he drinks a glass a cranberry juice a day, becuase he heard that there are chemicals that make it harder for bacteria to get foothold in one's urinary tract. I am sure you can find studies on this.

However i have other two friends who get them no matter what. They have gone to using condoms either all the time or almost all the time with their respective partners.

2. Due to my size, I'm cumming quite deep inside her. To date we have had no leakage. I'm assuming the semen is being absorbed or being passed out later in some reduced state in normal bowel movements. Point being, she can relax right? Nothing is going to come running out of her when she stands up.

If it hsn't happened yet, I wouldn't worry. And unless you two are having an afternoon quicy of anal sex, and she is worried that it will ooze out whist at the office, I really wouldn't worry. If it does, while you are at home after anal play, really, what is the big deal. After a bit it will be absorbed into the linning of the rectum (sice that is what is is designed to do, absorb liquid) so again, I really don't see her concern.

3. She's heard that anal sex too frequently will make her incontinent, especially because of my size. Is there any truth to this?

Thanks for your experienced advice.

S_L

There is no evidence that anal sex, frequent or not, that is done right will cause a person to become incontinent. Search the web for more info. I have known couples who have been together forever (decades) where this is not a problem. Unless you just rammed it in there and tore something or damaged a nerve do to irresponsible sex, really, she need not worry.

I would write more, but am crunched for time, and so did not have the opportunity to include links for you, or get into greater detail. I just didn't want you and your wife to be left hanging.

Hope this helps

 

[boibitch87]

Here are my answers, according to my experiences:

1. You're relatively safe from UTI's - they're caused mainly when you don't urinate after you ejaculate. However, it's not the only cause, so there's nothing saying that you can't get a UTI elsewhere.

2. The semen will pass just like stool. If you're penis is big, chances are you'll loosen her ass a bit, so you can't guarantee that she won't "leak" a little, but there's no harm in cumming inside her.

3. I was afraid of that too - my boyfriend has a pretty large dick, but I think that as long as you're not fucking her in the ass 5 times a day, she'll be alright. I have been so far, and we've been having sex regularly for over 3 months now.

Hope this helps. =]

 

[petite]

I apologize for not answering your three questions, but I suspect that there are others who are more knowledgeable.

I wondered if you minded sharing the magic combination of conditions and position to succeed at anal sex?

We're also rather new to it as a couple (he's had lots before me) and I would love it if you shared some information that might be helpful to us.

 

[Bbucko]

The two most likely culprits for a UTI would be trace fecal matter and lube; urinating afterwards definitely helps.

She should feel it if she's gonna leak or not. Most of the guys I fuck don't leak, they either absorb it or else excuse themselves to the bathroom when we're done.

I've known fist bottoms who've been active for years and never experienced incontinence. I think she'll be just fine.

 

[D_Lanksesbye Sleepingrawe]

Thank you all for your honest and direct answers. They're all common sense and have eased my mind a bit about the risk of a UTI and have eased my wife's mind a lot about the second and especially third question. I can always count on the wealth of experience here.

Regarding Miss Petite's question:

I wondered if you minded sharing the magic combination of conditions and position to succeed at anal sex? We're also rather new to it as a couple (he's had lots before me) and I would love it if you shared some information that might be helpful to us.

Once she got over the mental hurdle of giving it a try in the first place, the second obstacle was getting relaxed enough. What we found that works was to sex to her exhaustion. After enough (or strong enough) orgasms, she's physically a rag doll. Patience, tenderness, and good lube (I use KY Sensitive) took care of the rest. Once we did it a couple of times, she really believed she could and it got easier. She hasn't orgasmed from it (and may not given the conditions) yet, but does find it at least not unpleasant. I'm hoping in time she'll love it as much as I am finding that I do.

For position we spoon with her knees drawn up a good bit. She can totally relax in that position and it opens her for deeper penetration. I got the idea from having normal vaginal sex in that position and the ease with which I would accidentally align with the back door. It takes effort to stay aligned with her pussy in that position but none to align with her ass. I have also had a prostate exam in that position and it was easy on the receiving end, so we figured we'd try it.

Probably more that you wanted to know, but there you go.

Thanks again all for the guidance.

S_L

 

[petite]

Thank you for your detailed reply! :smile::smile::smile:

I'll have to try that lube!

I've found that dilating my bottom with dildos really helped me enjoy it a lot. I prefer the clear jelly ones that are really cheap. I do it before by myself earlier in the day, or we use them as part of foreplay. At first I thought the only problem was with dilating my rectum to his width, but it turns out that not using a long enough dildo made it hurt really deep inside me, and it never stopped hurting all through anal sex, which was bearable, but not pleasant. It stopped hurting when we started off using a thinner long dildo to prepare first. I also had problems with bleeding inside, which we usually didn't notice until after we had had anal sex, and that stopped when we started using the longer thiner dildos before he penetrated with his penis.

I cannot anally orgasm just through anal stimulation and in fact, it just feels weird at best without clitoral stimulation. Let me tell you, using a good bullet vibe, like California Exotics Hypersonic Bullet or TLC 10x, on my clit at the same time gives me the strongest most amazing orgasms ever! I really must recommend it. If it works the same way with her as it does with me, you may discover that your wife suggests anal sex more often than you do. :tongue:

I've found that initial penetration lying on my stomach or my side both work well. We haven't tried spooning. When I'm on my side, he's on his knees. After initial penetration, we usually have anal sex in doggy style.

 

[paigexox]

@ Petite above, it's not exactly anal sex so much as it's butt-play, but I noticed in another thread that you seem fond of G-spot vibes -- so something you might attempt to get an orgasm from anal is to have your partner finger your g-spot through your bum. It works surprisingly well and you get a nice double-whammy effect from it (triple if you use a vibe on your clit too!).

It's sort of cheating and I know not really an orgasm from anal penetration alone, but it can be good fun, especially in the foreplay stages leading up to the anal sex itself.

 

[petite]

@ Petite above, it's not exactly anal sex so much as it's butt-play, but I noticed in another thread that you seem fond of G-spot vibes -- so something you might attempt to get an orgasm from anal is to have your partner finger your g-spot through your bum. It works surprisingly well and you get a nice double-whammy effect from it (triple if you use a vibe on your clit too!).

It's sort of cheating and I know not really an orgasm from anal penetration alone, but it can be good fun, especially in the foreplay stages leading up to the anal sex itself.

Thanks for the tip! We'll have to try that. :smile:

There was also a DP thread here, and it made me feel like I was the last woman on earth to try vaginal/anal DP with penis/dildo or vibe/dildo combination. I had been meaning to try DP with my favorite g-spot rabbit vibe and TheBF, to see if he could also feel the rotating head during anal sex, but then I lost it when we went out of town.

 

[paigexox]

lol, well to be fair my first foray into this type of thing was elicited by a bout of sexual frustration. When you're laying there in dissatisfaction, realize you have more toys than holes, and then remember something you read on a sex forum once... epiphany moment and aha! You've successfully DP'd yourself. :tongue: