A funny thing happened Friday night.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by OPPinSLC, Aug 18, 2008.

  1. OPPinSLC

    OPPinSLC Member

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    My girlfriend told me that she and her girlfriend (actually the girl who cuts her and my hair), went out last Friday night. One thing led to another and she said she ended up sleeping at her girlfriends place, well actually she said her and her girlfriend ended up having sex. She thinks I’m being cool about, but to tell the truth I’m kind of in shock, I don’t know what to think. The way she told me was a little casual, like she and her girlfriend went for a walk or something. We have talked about maybe getting together with another couple, just watching, we both agreed that we would feel uncomfortable if either of us were with someone else. I’m not really bothered by her being with a woman, just that she was with someone else. In truth, I wish she had never told me.

    So, any of you have a similar experience?
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I may be thought prudish and old fashioned but unfaithful is unfaithful.
     
  3. bguy

    bguy Member

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    You need to be honest with your girlfriend about how you feel. If she thinks you're 'cool' with it then there is very little reason it won't happen again.
     
  4. Kodak

    Kodak Member

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  5. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    I'm with you on this one Pecker. Be it man, woman or beast...!
     
  6. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    I agree with Pecker, and that should scare both of us.
     
  7. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    Yes, faithfulness in a relationship is important, but strange things happen sometimes when two sexually charged persons are alone. And, if one is inclined to doing things on impulse it is wise to stay out of such situations. But, let's be honest, men and women do stray at times. If all of these "betrayals" ended in permanently ruptured relationships the statistics would not cheer us.
    Sure, talk about it, let the offending parties know you are unhappy about it, but show a bit of understanding also. Telling you about it was perhaps her way of trying to salve a guilty conscience. Ask yourself if you might ever be tempted to be unfaithful. Even though you list 100% straight have you ever considered how you might yield to the temptation to sample that side of sexuality which you do not acknowledge as fit for yourself? If you did, would you feel bound to tell her? Her big error in my view was to tell you; what happens sexually between two persons is very personal and ought to remain strictly private. Others do not need to know and ususally don't want to know.
     
  8. Israel Torres

    Israel Torres New Member

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    ... now imagine what she hasn't told you?!

    In my relationships I've always brought it up front that trust is everything. Lose the trust and the relationship is gone. Like most it isn't about latching onto someone and making sure they never see anyone else; however it is about not spreading disease. To me sex is sex and love is love - they are two separate things to me but if someone I'm sleeping with is having sex with others I would want to know about it to better protect myself. All in all it has worked out very well.

    Would it have been different if you guys talked about it ahead of time and you know about it? Not saying that she needs to ask your permission but more make you aware of it BEFORE it happened. Then you can make the choice whether you want to continue the relationship or accept it (join in, watch, etc...).
     
  9. OPPinSLC

    OPPinSLC Member

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    Corius, thank you for your kind words (and pm), I'm all for being free, but I wish she would have talked to me about it. I truly wish, now, that she hadn't told me about it lol

    Also I agree with Torres, a person needs to know, on a biological level.

    Also, also, the girl she was with is also a friend on mine, so it's kind of like a double betrayl. Shit! My life just got real complicated.
     
  10. arrivaderciroma

    arrivaderciroma New Member

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    What happened already happened. Look on the bright side and make it work for you.
     
  11. fallon2

    fallon2 New Member

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    Pictures?

    But seriously folks, ask her how she felt and what EXACTLY turned her on and then please her even more in bed.
     
  12. slcnewlife64

    slcnewlife64 New Member

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    To be honest with you and I don't want to be pesimistic with my comment but I think that relationship is not convenient for you at all man.
     
    #12 slcnewlife64, Aug 18, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2008
  13. JMeister

    JMeister Member

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    Great opportunity for a threesome. Just be prepared to deal with the fact that the two of them may be more into each other than they are into you.
     
  14. hockeyguy741

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    yep
     
  15. Principessa

    Gold Member

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    #15 Principessa, Aug 18, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2008
  16. Not_Punny

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    As someone in a semi-open relationship, I'd say she broke the most basic rule: permission.

    I wouldn't dream of doing ANYTHING without my guy's full knowledge and consent... and in almost all cases, his participation. Other couples are more open, and they have "instant-sex" with other people -- but still, the couple has given blanket permission to each other to engage in that kind of sex.

    So, just because you've talked about threesomes, it doesn't mean she can go off and "do" someone, male or female, without your knowledge and consent.

    In ANY kind of polyamoristic relationship, it is vital to LAY OUT AND AGREE UPON THE RULES!

    She probably didn't think it was a big deal (a one-timer with a girl), but still -- she did it without your foreknowledge, and without your permission. That's a no-no in any relationship.

    If you want to stay with her, you have to

    a) Forgive her
    b) Lay out the rules for your polyamorism
    c) See if she sticks to them
     
  17. dc9

    dc9
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    Making me think, this is going to take more time for me to answer.
    some of you know why.
     
  18. Principessa

    Gold Member

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    Not_Punny, I don't do the 'open relationship' thing so I may have misinterpreted something here. :redface: How does his saying he has a fantasy of being in a threesome translate to her stepping out on her own with another woman to go scissor muffing? :confused:
     
  19. biz4two

    biz4two New Member

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    What Not_Punny said!


    biz
    :cool:
     
  20. B_icem

    B_icem New Member

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    wtf ? get rid of this skank NOW.... then bang her sister
     
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