A Girl with a Boyfriend

[D_Beau Nerr]

There is a term in spanish called "delicadeza"...

 

[Long&Thick]

Well, she came over again last night, we drank a few beers and just talked for quite awhile about various things and important things. She ended up staying over as well. Long story short, we're just friends. Seems like this guy in Germany is "the one" for her and that's that. I found it funny how she had everything planned out for how the next 4 or so years was going to play out. During this conversation I couldn't help but think to myself how naive it sounded. "he plans to do...." I hope that..." she sounded like a fairy tale. I have a feeling that if one thing goes wrong, or isn't as easy as she thinks it is...shit will hit the fan. She's like that, everything has to be name brand and perfect. She complained because she got a 94 on a test for crying out loud

I like her, she's cute, maybe sometime when we're both really drunk something might happen. However, I'm not going to push anything. I'm done trying force anything out of this relationship. I'll still hang out with her, maybe not as much as before. But I still enjoy the company of a female, even though she's not mine. However, she did think my arms looked sexy. "I wish *German Name* had arms like yours" It's nice to have compliments paid.

The one thing I failed to remember to ask her about was how she has told her boyfriend about our relationship. If I were him I would think funny business is going on, if she honestly told him what we do. Especially since she's stayed the night in my room several times now. I might address her about that over texts, no need to have a formal conversation I guess. My biggest fear is that she's just using me to pass the time until she see's him again. If that's the case, this pretty young thing is out of my life for good.

Again, we're just friends

 

[lgtrmusr]

Sounds like part of a resolution. Just friends is fine. Just don't let her take up room or distract you from other more rewarding and potentially intimate relationships.

 

[Coolhunter]

friends is ok, but you must remain free forotoher relationships ! i agree with lgtrmusr

 

[DecoyMAX]

ok so just friends is alright. now go out and get a girl...

 

[blaquehorse]

Lol ! This has a really fascinating drama. Most of the guys gave counsel from their experience and background, others put themselves in your shoes. They all meant well. I couldn't help but notice the harsh truth in some their words though.
Jeff and Igtrmusr for eg. hit the nail on the head. This girl wants to be taken. If she values her relationship with her so-called boyfriend, she won't be spending nights at your's. And, she WOULD have have told him about you. There won't be the need to ask her where you stand- unless ofcourse, you are taking her from behind standing up.
Long and short of it is, no one is advocating force but, if she not ready to put out then, don't let her put out the spark of a relationship with someone else.
Live well my friend and be wise.

 

[Long&Thick]

In my efforts in trying to move on from this girl I went over to another girls apartment tonight, we were supposed to watch a movie but instead we talked for 3 1/2 hours and that was that. I'll see her again tomorrow probably and we'll see how that goes :biggrin1:.

I still catch myself thinking of the "forbidden fruit" (my code name for her) though. She sent me a message asking if I ever wound up going out, I didn't reply

Just a little update.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

it sounds like she's missing her BF and is craving attention. she knows she can get the attention from you, so she's using you to her advantage. don't fall for her bullshit. you seem like a nice person and don't deserve to be treated like that. it's best to walk away from the situation in terms of anything that goes beyond the friends zone. it doesn't mean you can still be friends with her. you just have to respect the fact that she is taken.

 

[B_jlaurier]

NO MERCY. Bring her a good white wine bottle. and then F*** her hard. dont wait do it now !!!

I ve been in your situation by the past. It was in london, I met an aussie girl. She was in London the man was in Australia. She just kissed in her bedroom. Then, she stopped and asked me to leave the bedroom. I was to nice, it was georgeous half italian half irish girl. I should have put 2 fingers in her pants and go. I had only ONE chance. And i missed that chance. So dont do the things like me.

This is a girl thing today. ALl the girls in the west are always committed. but it doesnt mean they have a real boyfriend. They just have security. All girls in the west always have somebody and cant stay alone even if they dont like this person. Long distance love doesnt work.

Tomorrow, your chance can be gone and as a man you ll stay lonely for years.

Dont listen any girls coming here. there are all psychos. Normal girls dotn need to come on the website if everything is allright in her relationship.

Once you ll F*** her she will be yours and she will do all the job to split up with her former so called boyfriend.

Really it is not serious. we cant call somebody living 3000 km away a boyfriend. It may be ok if you are married but really...

In western world relstionship is a jungle. If you are not the one to take the target somebody else will do. No mercy.

 

[Long&Thick]

After hanging out with this new girl for little over a week (lets call her Michelle) we've really hit it off and we like being together, by the sounds of things we're going to a football game Saturday and then going out to the parties Saturday night. She's a lot less maintenance than my previous fixation (let's call her Katy). She's more "my type" if you will.

However, last night I was over at Katy's room playing Fable II, her room mate had gone to bed but Katy didn't want to, I suggested she come over to my room if she didn't want to go to bed because I wasn't very tired, she could at least watch TV or use her laptop. She thought about it and said yes. We watched TV for another couple of hours and we went to bed. I slept in my normal attire, just boxers because I just didn't care anymore what she thought (she's got a boyfriend, why'd she care?). 45 minutes later she was complaining of sore shoulders "my shoulders need to be man handled" she said, thinking nothing of it I rubbed her shoulders. By something leading to another we ended up on one side of the bed spooning, her hand on my leg, my hand on her stomach/breasts. She was fully clothed though. I tried to advance my position but I remember her beginning to take her hand and stop me, so I just didn't go further.

Michelle has to work tonight until 1 or 2, which sucks so I'll probably end up hanging out with Katy again tonight. I wonder what we'll end up doing tonight. I like her, but I do realize what situation she's in, and that is controlling my actions. So far it's her initiating the contact, and if that keeps happening, I'll continue to follow.

 

[nevin]

So you guys are spooning and that isn't being unfaithful? Dude, hate to break it to you, but this girl is cheating on her b/f with you. She may not be fucking you, but she's being unfaithful. Stop fucking with your own head. Either do the deed or don't ruin someone else's relationship. Put yourself in this german dude's place. You sir are being an accomplice to her whims and her infidelity, if you are ok with it, go for it. If not, stop.

Personally I have no problems dating multiple girls, but if the chick has a b/f I don't generally pursue. I've been cheated on and I don't want to do that to someone else.

Your call.

 

[Long&Thick]

I went to a party with this girl tonight. We had a little group of 5 or so people. It was her room mate, her room mate's boyfriend, her, my friend Pat, and I. Long story short, she just hung around me for the most part because for some reason I was being a hilarious whiskey drunk. We ended up leaving the party earlier than her room mate and her boyfriend. She said she wanted to give them the room for whatever they wanted to do (I guess her room mate was on her period though, so I guess not much was going to happen?) so she came back to my room again. she proceeded to take off all her clothes, I gave her a T-shirt to cover up and she got into bed. I followed suit immediately. We watched TV, she moved in a little closer every few seconds, so I kept exploring my boundaries. Seemed to be there were none. We were feeling around each other so I started taking things further, she didn't stop or say anything so I went further. She let me do anything I wanted, kiss, hug, lick, suck, finger...anything. The only thing she wouldn't do was kiss me for some reason, I tried two times nonchalantly but no go. She was sopping wet, I think I found her spot as well because she started going crazy and breathing hard...made me feel like a true man (This is all new territory for me, being a virgin and all).

I thought things were going to go further so I took my leave for a second to go to the restroom and take my contacts out, etc etc. When I came back, she was in her clothes getting ready to go to sleep. Once we were both in bed I proceeded to ask a dumb ass question about whether she enjoyed it or not (not one of my brighter moments, but I was still buzzed so I didn't care). She told me that she didn't want to talk about it, so I dropped it from there and went to sleep. No more contact after that.

She's having a birthday party tonight for her 21st and a few people are invited. I wonder what will happen now since all this has transpired. I feel no guilt, even though she is cheating on her boyfriend with me, she could of told me that I needed to stop (she wasn't drunk, only 3 or so beers) she could have told me not to do anything and I would have not done anything. I have a feeling that I have messed things up though...just a sense, maybe not. It is a shame I didn't get anything out of the whole night last night though...just some experience points. I could feel my dick rubbing against her inner thigh though, so shew knew it was there.

Just thought I'd update my thread a little bit with a night full of excitement.

 

[sixthsense]

Sounds like she wants a friend with benefits, if you're interested in that.

How did the party go?

 

[289]

Oh dear.
Time for some facts.
1) Katy is a player and needs to have male attention. She knows that you like her and she can have attention from you whenever she wants.
2) From experience, you and her will never be "just friends" there will always be the element of what if- therefore I doubt you will ever fully commit to another girl when you are friends with her.

From the fact that you look for clues in her facebook profile picture and her phone saver, you obviously like Katy a lot. So regardless of what anyone else tells you on here, you'll always be soft towards her until you get a definitive answer. Hence, the cycle of her manipulation of you to meet her own ends continues.

My only piece of advice to you is this: You are not a household appliance thats there to be taken out and used when its needed. Think about it. Maybe you should let her know that. Good luck.

And for those who disagree with me, I am only offering this comment because I was in an alarmingly identical situation a couple of years ago.

 

[Hockeytiger]

Oh dear.
Time for some facts.
1) Katy is a player and needs to have male attention. She knows that you like her and she can have attention from you whenever she wants.
2) From experience, you and her will never be "just friends" there will always be the element of what if- therefore I doubt you will ever fully commit to another girl when you are friends with her.

From the fact that you look for clues in her facebook profile picture and her phone saver, you obviously like Katy a lot. So regardless of what anyone else tells you on here, you'll always be soft towards her until you get a definitive answer. Hence, the cycle of her manipulation of you to meet her own ends continues.

My only piece of advice to you is this: You are not a household appliance thats there to be taken out and used when its needed. Think about it. Maybe you should let her know that. Good luck.

And for those who disagree with me, I am only offering this comment because I was in an alarmingly identical situation a couple of years ago.

I have to agree with you.

Unless I've turned into and old man and is totally out of touch (which is possible, I'm distressingly close to 36 now), you should only be spooning girls you are in a relationship with. If you have ever found yourself in a situation where you are spooning a girl you are not in some kind of relationship (whether actual dating or FWB) then something has gone horribly wrong.

Either you are in a relationship or you aren't. If she ain't interested in having sex with you, kick her ass out of your bed, she doesn't belong there. She's using you just like many guys use women for sex. Effectively she's the same as the guy who convinces a girl that he cares for her when really all he intends to do is fuck her and move on (and maybe fuck her again another night if she's stupid enough to fall for it again).

Honestly, what kind of relationship do you think you are going to have with her? What happens when you need to leave for a few days or a week. Is she going to end up spooning with another guy in his bed because you aren't there? What happens when the two of you fight. Is she going to go running off to some other guys bed to spoon with him, because she has to have male contact?

 

[maxuncut]

A girl, with a boyfriend is unavailable. :duh: That's it. If you can't control your feelings then you need to walk away.

Now, see that's some funny stuff right there. That might be the case if everyone simply said what they felt and did what they wanted.

But that doesn't happen and there are always shades of gray.

The guy is respecting the fact that she has a boyfriend.

He's questioning whether she wants to continue on with the BF or make him her BF.

As described, I think she's dying for him. He needs to find that out because the alternative is stay in an agonizing state of limbo - and that sucks.

By the way, I really enjoyed the rubber band analogy . . .