- 36DD,
That's my opinion too, but you said it much quicker! I bet you are very time efficient as well!:smile:
A History of Promiscuity - Is it a Turn Off?
- Thread starter earllogjam
- Start date
D_Roland_D_Hay
Account Disabled
We will always have this special moment of sharing the same opinion!!!
D_Roland_D_Hay
Account Disabled
A person's past behavior is often a very good indicator of how he will behave now and in the future.
If I'm at a bathhouse and the person is doing everyone and anyone I generally stay away from that person for health reasons. It is kind of a turn off if that person comes on to me knowing that he has no discrimination in choosing his sex partners no matter how attractive that person may be. Makes me feel ordinary and common.
If I am romantically interested in a person then knowing that person is promiscuous is usually a big negative because I simply don't think his interest in me goes beyond anything sexual and that he will most likely bail at the first chance he gets for a better piece of ass. It's a big trust issue for me - but not to say that I haven't been romantically involved with people who have been very promiscuous.
If I'm at a bathhouse and the person is doing everyone and anyone I generally stay away from that person for health reasons. It is kind of a turn off if that person comes on to me knowing that he has no discrimination in choosing his sex partners no matter how attractive that person may be. Makes me feel ordinary and common.
If I am romantically interested in a person then knowing that person is promiscuous is usually a big negative because I simply don't think his interest in me goes beyond anything sexual and that he will most likely bail at the first chance he gets for a better piece of ass. It's a big trust issue for me - but not to say that I haven't been romantically involved with people who have been very promiscuous.
Mr. Snakey
Expert Member
Of course it is not always possible to avoid promiscuous people as some would like to do
because
well, uhh, people lie
many promiscuous people go to great lengths to hide their promiscuity ...
while some insecure immature people exaggerate their promiscuity ...
(of course there are limits to how much people can do this without accidentally revealing the truth)
and some people alternate between promiscuity and abstinence (this is a condition known as sexual anorexia)
and some promiscuous people (mainly straight guys) are much more lauded and generally admired for their exploits
(of course there are limits to how much people can do this ...)
and there are often some rather ugly reasons for these behaviours (as 36DD correctly pointed out), but these are generally off-limits even to the promiscuous persons themselves in their most private moments;
alternately those same reasons may provoke excessive interest and indignation in the activities of others (the scandalised virgin syndrome) in order to ensure that one's own person remains off-limits (of course there are limits to how much people can do this without rendering the strategy ineffective, shooting themselves in the foot, accidentally revealing the truth to others and eventally even to themselves)
Personally, as long as a person takes basic precautions, their sexual history is not of much concern to me (unless I plan to become sexually involved with them)
personally, what alarms me much more than sexual promiscuity
is infidelity and emotional promiscuity
because
well, uhh, people lie
many promiscuous people go to great lengths to hide their promiscuity ...
while some insecure immature people exaggerate their promiscuity ...
(of course there are limits to how much people can do this without accidentally revealing the truth)
and some people alternate between promiscuity and abstinence (this is a condition known as sexual anorexia)
and some promiscuous people (mainly straight guys) are much more lauded and generally admired for their exploits
(of course there are limits to how much people can do this ...)
and there are often some rather ugly reasons for these behaviours (as 36DD correctly pointed out), but these are generally off-limits even to the promiscuous persons themselves in their most private moments;
alternately those same reasons may provoke excessive interest and indignation in the activities of others (the scandalised virgin syndrome) in order to ensure that one's own person remains off-limits (of course there are limits to how much people can do this without rendering the strategy ineffective, shooting themselves in the foot, accidentally revealing the truth to others and eventally even to themselves)
Personally, as long as a person takes basic precautions, their sexual history is not of much concern to me (unless I plan to become sexually involved with them)
personally, what alarms me much more than sexual promiscuity
is infidelity and emotional promiscuity
Unless we are concluding that people can't change (including you and I), then I can't comfortably judge a person on past actions. Yes, the past may be an indication of patterns, but I feel it is important to be familiar with a person's desire to change those patterns. I think we all deserve that opportunity.
Generally, I disregard the past and try only to judge a person's intentions by current actions and words (I kinda have a word usage fetish). How would any one of us like it if the world actually judged our current lives based on our pimply faced, awkward, and unpopular days in middle school? And, I wonder, how many people out there REALLY never made a bad choice or entered into a negative pattern of behaviour for a time? Why should one have to prove their redemption to anyone but themselves and God? Why should someone who 'fooled around' with 3 people just because they drank judge the one who knowingly 'fucked' 25 . . . sober? They both acted promiscuously.
I don't want to be preachy, either, but I feel that judging simply from the past is being blind to the person in front of you. As long as everyone is safe and healthy, going on about the past seems shallow and shortsighted, too me.
That's not to say, that one can't use past information to recognize re-emerging patterns.
whatireallywant
Sexy Member
I agree with this...
What I really don't like are people who sneak behind their partner's back and have sex with other people.
But, if they are single or in a truly open relationship (where their partner is aware of this), then I have no problem with it.
I was actually raised in a religious family with the "no sex before marriage" stuff, but I never truly bought into that - I think my sex drive trumped everything I'd been taught! :biggrin1:
I've had probably a couple of times in my life where people might've said I was promiscuous (although my number of partners is not that high). Once in my early thirties, caused partly by insecurity about my body, and currently, simply caused by overactive sex drive!
That does not mean I could not settle down with one person if I met the right one, though. And I don't think it would necessarily be true of my partners either. It would just depend on the situation.
My GF and I are into swinging, so promiscuity is not an issue at all. Safety is the primary concern: both physical (there are a lot of psychos out there) and health (STDs). So protection and regular testing are had by all. I find that those in the lifestyle tend to be more careful since they test very regularly and are well-versed in protection.
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The previous posting should get an award, if LPSG actually gave out such things, for unearthing the oldest thread in recorded history. The original was posted in 2007.
I looked at this thread to read your opinion, oh go on, do an opinion
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- rtg,
If I'm interested in someone I just don't want to know about their sexual past... The past is the past. Ppl are entitled to do whatever they please.
The only time it would be an issue would be:
- if they kept talking about past encounters.
- if they had gotten a number of women pregnant.
- if their promiscuity meant they had cheated in the past and / or might cheat on me.
- if they had had sex with a lot of their friends and we're still friends with them.
The only time it would be an issue would be:
- if they kept talking about past encounters.
- if they had gotten a number of women pregnant.
- if their promiscuity meant they had cheated in the past and / or might cheat on me.
- if they had had sex with a lot of their friends and we're still friends with them.
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A history of extreme promiscuity is totally a turnoff for me and rules someone out as a sexual partner.
Even here when I read people posting that their list of ex partners is in the 3 digits I literally cringe
I'm not saying that sex is some mystical sacred thing you should only reserve for your one true love, but it is more important, more "special" than just a bodily function or impulse act. Taking care of my body and living a healthy lifestyle is also very important to me, and with that comes self-control.
Someone with hundreds of partners has shown they don't care about their health and that sex to them is about as special as changing their socks. If they're happy with that lifestyle, great, but I'm looking for someone that attaches a bit more significance to sex and their choice of sexual partner.
Even here when I read people posting that their list of ex partners is in the 3 digits I literally cringe
I'm not saying that sex is some mystical sacred thing you should only reserve for your one true love, but it is more important, more "special" than just a bodily function or impulse act. Taking care of my body and living a healthy lifestyle is also very important to me, and with that comes self-control.
Someone with hundreds of partners has shown they don't care about their health and that sex to them is about as special as changing their socks. If they're happy with that lifestyle, great, but I'm looking for someone that attaches a bit more significance to sex and their choice of sexual partner.
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Prudishness is a way bigger turn off for me personally
Personally I think everyone has their own tolerance levels, but I also believe there is a bullshit double standard applied to this subject.
If a guy screws 100 women he is a "stud", but let a woman do it and she is "whore" or "slut".
I disagree that "Promiscuity and infidelity go hand in hand" as an absolute. Both of my marriages and most of my LTRs were with women that had played the field like myself. Libidos that are compatible usually help a relationship. People just don't wake up being good at anything, it's called experience.
The breaking point with all of my relationships usually involved external forces (money, assignments, work, relatives, etc).
I will also say I have seen a lot of "high school" sweetheart and "virgins" marriages go to shit in a much more ugly way than the typical "promiscuous couples" that usually just part ways.
Obviously having said all this "protection" is a must. If your going to paint on a lot of canvas, you better take care of the brush.
If a guy screws 100 women he is a "stud", but let a woman do it and she is "whore" or "slut".
I disagree that "Promiscuity and infidelity go hand in hand" as an absolute. Both of my marriages and most of my LTRs were with women that had played the field like myself. Libidos that are compatible usually help a relationship. People just don't wake up being good at anything, it's called experience.
The breaking point with all of my relationships usually involved external forces (money, assignments, work, relatives, etc).
I will also say I have seen a lot of "high school" sweetheart and "virgins" marriages go to shit in a much more ugly way than the typical "promiscuous couples" that usually just part ways.
Obviously having said all this "protection" is a must. If your going to paint on a lot of canvas, you better take care of the brush.
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I think everybody has a right to be as promiscuous as they want when they're single. What I object to is promiscuous people being the prime sources of gossip and ridicule about other peoples' behaviour. Often that's the case, as well as non-promiscuous people who are jealous about all the fun others are having (I count myself in that latter category, which is why I always self-analyse when I'm tempted to say something snide about another's sexual behaviour).
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