A History of Promiscuity - Is it a Turn Off?

[AlteredEgo]

Now you're just teasing her!

 

[WantToBeThick]

I'm actually turned on by if a woman has slept with a lot of guys.

 

[palakaorion]

(Well, since this frankenthread seems to have awakened...)

I'd be looking for a long-term relationship, not a hook-up. So I'd need to be confident that her past was truly in her past, and not still part of her present.

If I'm committing 100 percent then so should she.

 

[AsianSkin]

Personally I think everyone has their own tolerance levels, but I also believe there is a bullshit double standard applied to this subject.

If a guy screws 100 women he is a "stud", but let a woman do it and she is "whore" or "slut".

I disagree that "Promiscuity and infidelity go hand in hand" as an absolute. Both of my marriages and most of my LTRs were with women that had played the field like myself. Libidos that are compatible usually help a relationship. People just don't wake up being good at anything, it's called experience.

The breaking point with all of my relationships usually involved external forces (money, assignments, work, relatives, etc).

I will also say I have seen a lot of "high school" sweetheart and "virgins" marriages go to shit in a much more ugly way than the typical "promiscuous couples" that usually just part ways.

Obviously having said all this "protection" is a must. If your going to paint on a lot of canvas, you better take care of the brush.

I totally agree with you on this. Being in the lifestyle, we have met couples with major relationship issues and we have met couples in their 50s who have been married 30+ years and swinging for even longer than that. Some met as swing partners and stuck together. They understand that their bond and compatibility goes further than sex. In fact, per capita, the percentage of failed relationships/marriages seems higher in "traditional" relationships. Now, before anyone attacks me on this, I want to make it VERY clear that this is just my own observation and experiences within a limited sample size of only about 60 couples that we know personally (traditional couples and swingers in about equal numbers).

So, in my experience, promiscuity does not equal infidelity. And the swinger couples that couldn't hold together their relationships were the ones where one of more of the party couldn't deal with their jealousy issues. I also realize this is not for everyone. Some may think they can handle it, but find out a year or 2 into the lifestyle that they cannot. Others initially think they cannot, but find out they CAN. This was my case. I had always been in a monogamous relationship until I met my current GF. She was the one who introduced me to the lifestyle. I thought I'd get the jealousy monsterbug BIG time, considering she's such an amazing girl. But I didn't. I'm not even interested in the whole 'cuckold' fantasies or watching others. I much prefer solo sex to group. But I also love the fact that she gets so much pleasure out of it and is truly happy. She doesn't HAVE to be with me, she WANTS to be. And it is beyond sex. In my mind, jealousy is fear-based. The old adage stands true for me: "If you love someone, set them free."

 

[693987]

I'm glad my partner and I are about equally experienced. We both know what we like since we've tried a lot of things with a reasonably lengthy list of people. We've talked about our past, and while we don't dwell on it, we have discussed it. It's not a matter of comparing, either. Just, sometimes with certain topics, it's relevant.

We're both at over 50 partners. Just because we have been promiscuous in the past doesn't mean a darned thing about fidelity. We both are exceedingly loyal. So long as they used safe sex practices and were loyal when they were supposed to be, it doesn't matter to me.