A LARGE PENIS IS A SPECIAL GIFT

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Jun 4, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    salami: So, you spend a lifetime building a larger and better penis... Then what???

    We feel that if you invest so much time, effort, and even money in building a better penis, it should be enjoyed. And after? Your penis can become a family asset and heirloom. Really!

    Just as there is now a company that will take a deceased person's cremated ashes and make a diamond for a keepsake by your surviving spouse, WE can take your penis, testicles and scrotum, and preserve them using a new high-tech method called "Plastination". The end result? Upon your death, your "Family Jewels" need not go to waste! They can be preserved, kept and enjoyed indefinately by your significant other.

    And, wouldn't you really rather that your surviving Significant-Other have the most meaningful and personal keepsake you can offer? Much more meaningful than a common urn of ashes, flag from an interrment service, even jewelry, etc. The penis, testicles and scrotum which the two of you have had so much fun enjoying together - should be the most meaningful keepsake you can leave behind.

    My new company, INTIMATE MEMENTOS, will preserve your entire "package" - skin, meat inside, everything - either erect or soft. Just the way you want to be remembered! The final Memento is non-toxic, can be safely handled, examined and displayed. And will last indefinately!

    Contact:

    IntimateMementos@excite.com
     
  2. Imported

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    SpeedoGuy: ???
     
  3. Imported

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    hungwitz: A Saturday Night Live commercial?  
     
  4. Imported

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    H8Monga: I hate when I can't find the remote to change the channel! Someone turn it for me; I HATE infomercials!
     
  5. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Sounds like a post-mortem dildo. Oh, please. That's sick and twisted even for my warped sense of humour.
     
  6. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: I am a mortician, so I hear about all sorts of goofball things people try to do as part of "memorialization." I've read articles and seen brochures on companies that take cremated remains and mix them with clay and make windchimes; I've seen the company that takes cremated remains, heats them up to all sorts of temperatures and uses pressure and creates diamonds; but this is a whole new level of wierdness. Personally, I think it's mutilating a body. We don't (despite the rumors out there) break the legs or the neck of our bodies. We don't (or at least I don't and I know that none of my embalmer firends, do, either) steal fillings out of peoples' mouths. I would never cut off a part of a body that has been entrusted to my care. I think it's unethical as well as being twisted. I don't know of any other funeral director who would do it, either. I really hope that this is a joke, because if it's not, it's not only illegal, it is just plain sick!
     
  7. Imported

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    Ineligible: DMW, my humour must be even more warped than yours, because I do find it rather amusing. It's in the line of humour "how disgusting and tasteless can I get?".

    I assume it is a joke. Plastination has been a much-discussed technique of late, since its somewhat flamboyant inventor has been having slightly controversial travelling exhibitions (see http://www.plastination.com/ and, for more technical information, http://www.kfunigraz.ac.at/anawww/plast/). I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone made this suggestion.
     
  8. Imported

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    kyle: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
     
  9. Ralexx

    Ralexx Member

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    ...this is at least disgusting... ridiculous... filthy...
    If someone wants a free vomiting session, please contact Intimate Mementos at

    IntimateMementos@excite.com

    Ma foi, mais ça c'est une démence totale...
     
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