A Letter Home

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Sep 17, 2008.

  1. jakeatolla

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    Dear Ma and Pa,

    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother
    Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a
    mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places
    are filled.

    I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till
    nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell
    Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your
    cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch,
    mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay Practically nothing.


    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm
    water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice,
    cereal, eggs, bacon,etc,but kind of weak on chops,
    potatoes,ham,steak,fried eggplant,pie and other regular
    food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two
    city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds
    you until noon when you get fed again. It 's no wonder
    these city boys can't walk much.

    We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon
    sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so,
    it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route
    march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then
    the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

    The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The
    Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just
    ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep
    getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.. The
    bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't
    move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys
    at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and
    hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They
    come in boxes

    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.
    You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real
    careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like
    fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best
    they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in
    Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same
    time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and
    he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before
    other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter,
    Alice
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Those Canadian troops have it tough in boot camp. Prepping for the front lines in Luxembourg. :wink:
     
  3. jakeatolla

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    Umm, check your world news. Canadians have been in Afghanistan since
    the start of the war.
     
  4. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I know. Both of them. [I'm kidding. Sorry. :rolleyes:]
     
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