A little advice needed

jakeatolla

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:hug:

I'm really sorry for your loss...I understand and had this situation 4x in a short time. Its heart breaking and we have to grief and go through the process of it. I belongeg to a group of women in the same situation for a while that help me. It help me a lot the fact the pregnancies 3months below that do not go beyond is because something is very wrong with baby and way nature deals by miscarraging it. And I would never want have my baby to born and suffer. Was not my fault..they were sick very sick very young.

Hope you two confort one another because sometimes males keep conforting women and disregard his own loss or try to hide etc...Hope everything will be well.

Kisses

Thank you, I know how hard a time you must have had. Four times,
you must be incredibly strong. Yesterday would have been the 3 month mark, but sadly the fetus died at 9 weeks.
 

Peter Pud

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Having experianced the loss of twins at about 6 weeks of pregnancy. I know that your wife will go through a grieving process. It will be tough for her and yourself as well just remember she needs you now more than ever keep reassuring her and support her as much as possible. She needs everything you can give her as far as supporting her. She needs lots of love so keep giving she will recover and heal then maybe another baby will be possible. After losing the twins we did have another child. She is a beautiful 14 y/o now.
 

AlteredEgo

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This is a rather somber question I have. My wife and I were expecting
our 3rd child until a few days ago. My wife went in for testing to make
sure that everything was ok. When they did the ultrasound, they
discovered that the fetus' heart was no longer beating. My wife had just hit
her third month of pregnancy and the doctor figures that the baby died at 10 1/2 weeks. Needless to say we're both heartbroken. We have two healthy
children, but we were really looking forwards to one more. This is the last
chance to have any more, based on my wife's age. I 'm not really sure how
to handle this. My wife is grieving and is blamming herslef. I've tried to
tell her that is nonsense, and that this just wasn't meant to be. Better now
than at nine months in my opinon. But that doesn't take away the pain she's
feeling. If anyone has any helpfull advice, I'd be very gratefull. Thanks in advance.

Oh, Jake. This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. There are support groups for the two of you. If you want help searching for one, please write to me in private, and tell me where you are. A acquaintance of mine was able to get lots of help with both solo, and group therapy. She said she and her boyfriend found it easier to get over when listening to others sharing the experience.
 

Gisella

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Thank you, I know how hard a time you must have had. Four times,
you must be incredibly strong. Yesterday would have been the 3 month mark, but sadly the fetus died at 9 weeks.

Yes is very sad...

And I do have to confess that my problem was to think I was very strong because I'm a fighter and just try to deal with things without allowed me to go to the process...

My 1st was a blighted ovum, you go for 1st ultrasound and there is nothing inside the sack...we feel all the pregnancy symptomns but there is not fetus because something happens and did not progress growing..and than 2 miscarreges without ultrasound..until the last one that was after ultrasound and heart beat...because I did not deal and took time to listen to my heart emotions by the last loss it was too much, I broke up inside and had to deal with all...

Than Jaketolla take your time going through the process and its ok not be strong even when we are a fighter...its ok to ask for all the support we need and take time to grief...

Kisses
 

Wyldgusechaz

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There is a book called * When Bad Things Happen to Good People*. Written by a rabbi I believe. It might be helpful.

There are wonderful support mechanisms likely in your area. Try to make use of them. Hope all will be better in time.
 

pablo1973

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sorry to hear about your loss, there was a recent programme on this a few weeks ago on BBC radio 2. Close friends of mine went through something similar and found that later on asking questions and seeking more information helped them come to terms. Attched is a link to the BBC site, it may help.

BBC - Search results for miscarriage
 

jakeatolla

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One thing that stuck with me was that the ER doctor who tended to my wife told us that 10 to 15 percent of pregnancies result in a miscarriage ,
regardless of the mothers age. He said the same staistics aply wether
you're talking about young , or older women. Its just a numbers game
aparently.