A little lesson in Punctuation

[mindseye]

Reminds me of this story:


Times were hard at the ABC Company. Revenue was down for the third straight quarter, and costs were spiralling out of control. The propietor came to the sad realization that he would have to let one of his employees go in order to survive. He thought long and hard about the matter, and decided that since he had two accountants, Jack Smith and Jill Lancaster, he could probably get by with just one of them.

But which one? Both had been long-time employees of the company and had proven their loyalty time and time again.

Finally, he made his decision. He called Jill into his office and closed the door. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Then you'll have to jack off," she retorted, "because I have a headache!"

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

Um....you misspelled "proprietor" - LOL....sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[mindseye]

Originally posted by TexAssgirl@Apr 11 2005, 08:13 PM
Um....you misspelled "proprietor"

[post=299844]Quoted post[/post]​

Crap, you're right. Fifty lashes with a wet noodle for the Heathmeister.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper+Apr 12 2005, 12:25 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(DoubleMeatWhopper &#064; Apr 12 2005, 12:25 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'>

Originally posted by hung_big@Apr 11 2005, 10:59 PM
HEY&#33; I beat you all to it&#33;

You guys didn&#39;t refresh the page&#33; I had edited prior to anyone posting (to put in the comma) so HA&#33;

You might have edited it, but you didn&#39;t correct it. It&#39;s still wrong.

[post=299809]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b]

<!--QuoteBegin-mindseye@Apr 12 2005, 01:00 AM
Reminds me of this story:


Times were hard at the ABC Company. Revenue was down for the third straight quarter, and costs were spiralling out of control. The propietor came to the sad realization that he would have to let one of his employees go in order to survive. He thought long and hard about the matter, and decided that since he had two accountants, Jack Smith and Jill Lancaster, he could probably get by with just one of them.

But which one? Both had been long-time employees of the company and had proven their loyalty time and time again.

Finally, he made his decision. He called Jill into his office and closed the door. "I&#39;m afraid I have some bad news. I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Then you&#39;ll have to jack off," she retorted, "because I have a headache&#33;"

[post=299836]Quoted post[/post]​

[/quote]
DMW&#39;s right about the comma there, HB.

Joke&#39;s pretty good there, mindseye. I&#39;d almost forgot that one.

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

Originally posted by mindseye+Apr 11 2005, 08:27 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(mindseye &#064; Apr 11 2005, 08:27 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-TexAssgirl@Apr 11 2005, 08:13 PM
Um....you misspelled "proprietor"

[post=299844]Quoted post[/post]​

Crap, you&#39;re right. Fifty lashes with a wet noodle for the Heathmeister.

[post=299851]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

Are you trying to punish me or get me excited? :evilgrin:

 

[headbang8]

Did you hear about the guy who had cancer of the semicolon? He had to punctuate into a plastic bag for the rest of his life.

 

[jay_too]

For me, proper capitalization works: "Uncle Jack" or uncle.

jay

 

[dolf250]

"Oh thank god that was on purpose&#33; I was about to go into a rave about bad punctuation&#33; I shall let you off this time"

This brings up an interesting question. I usually am used to seeing the name God capitalized. If you do not believe in any God is it still capitalized?

Would somebody please tell me what the heck an interrobang is?

*Just ignore the last question (I finally realized that I could just Google it.) I’ve never seen the punctuation mark before today and am relieved that there is finally a punctuation mark for all of those times I have to string ?&#33;? together. (Hitting those three keys in succession takes great skill.) We seem to have a couple of Latin lovers on this board (No, not that kind) who may find it interesting that according to the page I brought up "Mr. Speckter called his mark INTERROBANG from the Latin for query and the proofreader&#39;s term for exclamation."

There is just some more completely useless knowledge to clutter your minds.

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

I think that if you&#39;re referring directly to the Christian god, then you capitalized it just as you would any person&#39;s name. But if you are referring to gods in general, then you don&#39;t. JMO

 

[Pecker]

TAG - we love that new avie. Sitting on the washer during the spin cycle?

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

Exactly&#33; It&#39;s one heck of a ride&#33; Yee-haw&#33;

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by dolf250@Apr 18 2005, 06:28 AM
I usually am used to seeing the name God capitalized. If you do not believe in any God is it still capitalized?

If you use it at a proper noun, it should be capitalized as any other proper noun. When I went to a Catholic high school here in the US, we were taught to capitalize He, Him and His as well, when they referred to God. Apparently, that has fallen out of common use even in religious works. The capitalized forms don&#39;t even put in an appearance in Catholic missals or hymnals any more. I still capitalize them.

 

[Pecker]

Me, too, Jacinto. Every brownie point helps.

 

[Freddie53]

Hymnals and Orders of Liturgy printed for local congregation use still use the capital letter for He, Him and His as well as the capital letter for God when refering to Him personally in the United Methodist Church. Of course when in the sentence, "The gods all met and decided to have it rain," gods is not capitalized. No Proper Noun was used. But then Christianity doesn&#39;t recongize multiple gods. In the sentence, "Is there a god," it is not capitalized as in that sentence it is a common noun.

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper+Apr 18 2005, 12:41 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(DoubleMeatWhopper &#064; Apr 18 2005, 12:41 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-dolf250@Apr 18 2005, 06:28 AM
I usually am used to seeing the name God capitalized.  If you do not believe in any God is it still capitalized?

If you use it at a proper noun, it should be capitalized as any other proper noun. When I went to a Catholic high school here in the US, we were taught to capitalize He, Him and His as well, when they referred to God. Apparently, that has fallen out of common use even in religious works. The capitalized forms don&#39;t even put in an appearance in Catholic missals or hymnals any more. I still capitalize them.

[post=301734]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

 

[steve319]

Neither the APA or MLA style guides tackle this one, at least as far as I&#39;ve ever found.

But we (and the textbooks we use) certainly still teach the capitalization of "God" and well as "He," "His," and "Him."

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper@Apr 18 2005, 09:41 AM
If you use it at a proper noun, it should be capitalized as any other proper noun. When I went to a Catholic high school here in the US, we were taught to capitalize He, Him and His as well, when they referred to God. Apparently, that has fallen out of common use even in religious works. The capitalized forms don&#39;t even put in an appearance in Catholic missals or hymnals any more. I still capitalize them.

[post=301734]Quoted post[/post]​

True. Oh, and for anyone here who writes "G-d", just because there&#39;s a no vowels rule in Semitic languages doesn&#39;t mean you can&#39;t write them in a language where vowels are written.

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by Freddie53@Apr 18 2005, 11:42 AM
Of course when in the sentence, "The gods all met and decided to have it rain," gods is not capitalized.

[post=301778]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah, but usually in polytheistic religions, one or two deities control the rain. Typically, they don&#39;t "decide" per se; in Lakota tradition, when Wakinyan and Unk meet, well . . . Wakinyan gets in one of her how-dare-you-steal-my-man moods.

 

[Max]

I&#39;m surprised nobody has mentioned Lynne Truss:

Eats, shoots, and leaves

 

[Pecker]

Originally posted by Max@Apr 19 2005, 01:27 AM
I&#39;m surprised nobody has mentioned Lynne Truss:

Eats, shoots, and leaves

[post=301950]Quoted post[/post]​

What&#39;s that in the road, a head?

 

[Leung]

Pecker I like your sig&#33;

I have collected a few good ones over the years including:
Man found dead in graveyard
Police found safe under bed
Police watch orange march
Woman dies after attempting to commit suicide
Man survives fatal fall
Lucky man watches friend die

There are just a few, I shall post more when I can find them&#33;