a little selfishness isn't always a bad thing in bed...

[petite]

Have you seen the movie THENOTEBOOK? You know in the end where they get back together and it shows them coming in out of the rain and he just picks her up slams back into the wall and they just go crazy, clothes coming off everywhere...

THAT is what I want.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about, and that was really hot, but weren't they already lovers? Plus, it's a movie, things really don't happen IRL like in the movies anyway.

If TheBoyfriend and I broke up and I had sex with an old partner, we'd remember what each other is like in bed. That's not a brand new partner.

 

[alwaysguessing]

And men are terrible at reading women.

Hooray for double standards!

 

[B_subgirrl]

Okay, I'm one of these women who would probably be freaked out if I was with a new partner and he just started acting like that in bed. I need to ramp up to that with a sexual partner. I need gentleness in the beginning, some care, and "Are you okay?" wouldn't annoy me at all.

I'm exactly the opposite! If he didn't do this sort of stuff fairly early on I'd probably decide he was too nice and gentle for me.

 

[HiddenLacey]

My favourite movie/TV sex scene is on Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Spike and Buffy have sex for the first time. The walls literally shake. Turns me on every time I see it.

Exactly there is this big part of me thats all for the slow approach, but I think a clothes ripping session from the right guy even for first time sex would be wonderful.

I think it depends on the guy and the situation. I'm finding that I'm am becoming much more in touch with who I am as a person.

 

[alwaysguessing]

I'm exactly the opposite! If he didn't do this sort of stuff fairly early on I'd probably decide he was too nice and gentle for me.

THUS supporting the stereotype that "nice guys finish last".

 

[petite]

Hooray for double standards!

Well I don't think that men should expect me to read their minds either! I haven't really had that problem with men in my relationships, not with most of them. A few of the ones who didn't talk a lot annoyed me because they didn't communicate, but I don't know if they actually expected me to read their minds. However, a lot of women here on LPSG say that men should just be able to read them and know if they want it gentle or rough, and I think that's an unrealistic and unfair expectation to have of men, don't you?

 

[B_subgirrl]

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. First time I sexed my girlfriend was in my office late hours after a charity benefit. Kinda just swept everything off the desk, threw her on, and had my way. We're still together, and I still do that kind of thing, so she must have liked it.

sbat, your posts are really making me horny tonight :smile:. I think I'll be getting out the vibe before bed . . .

 

[HiddenLacey]

Yeah, I know what you're talking about, and that was really hot, but weren't they already lovers? Plus, it's a movie, things really don't happen IRL like in the movies anyway.

If TheBoyfriend and I broke up and I had sex with an old partner, we'd remember what each other is like in bed. That's not a brand new partner.

Yes they had sex once when they were teenagers.

Petite I used to have dreams about sex up against the wall and laying across the kitchen table with my arms pinned above my head when I was a teenager.

I think life in general made me more careful than I really want to be.

 

[petite]

THUS supporting the stereotype that "nice guys finish last".

Actually, I have to agree with you. Rejecting a guy for being nice in bed the first time doesn't bode well for actually finding a man who will treat you nicely in a relationship.

 

[kc2007]

My GF is in the camp of the "just take me randomly, rip my panties" crowd. Unfortunately, I'm more of the "do you like this" and "how does that feel" mold. I guess somewhat too nice for her tastes in bed and somewhat conservative like waiting to initiate sex when we're in the bedroom. But I'm trying!

 

[B_subgirrl]

THUS supporting the stereotype that "nice guys finish last".

They do with me (sorry nice guys). While I do want them to be respectful and nice outside the bedroom, once in the bedroom I want the bad boy.

 

[alwaysguessing]

Well I don't think that men should expect me to read their minds either! I haven't really had that problem with men in my relationships, not with most of them. A few of the ones who didn't talk a lot annoyed me because they didn't communicate, but I don't know if they actually expected me to read their minds. However, a lot of women here on LPSG say that men should just be able to read them and know if they want it gentle or rough, and I think that's an unrealistic and unfair expectation to have of men, don't you?

Oh I certainly agree with you on that.

I just wanted to note that not ALL men are terrible at reading women. Some are like fucking ninjas about it. It's scary.

 

[petite]

Yes they had sex once when they were teenagers.

Petite I used to have dreams about sex up against the wall and laying across the kitchen table with my arms pinned above my head when I was a teenager.

I think life in general made me more careful than I really want to be.

Does it have to be the first time you have sex? Can't you just tell a man that you want that? Most men would be very happy to do that for you!

 

[HiddenLacey]

I would never reject a guy for taking it slow and easy. It's perfectly ok to want both.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Actually, I have to agree with you. Rejecting a guy for being nice in bed the first time doesn't bode well for actually finding a man who will treat you nicely in a relationship.

I wouldn't reject him the first time. But I'm fairly obvious about what I want so I'd expect a bit more rough sex 'fairly early on'. The definition of fairly early on would depend on how often we're having sex. And most guys I've had rough sex eith have realised that the rough stays in the bedroom. Actually all of them have.

 

[petite]

Oh I certainly agree with you on that.

I just wanted to note that not ALL men are terrible at reading women. Some are like fucking ninjas about it. It's scary.

My first love was like that, but he was a remarkable exception. I've dated or slept with ~50 men and none of the others have been like him. Expecting skills like that just isn't fair to the other men who are actually goodhearted, kind, would treat you well in a relationship, and would happily do anything in bed for you if you only told them what you wanted.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Does it have to be the first time you have sex? Can't you just tell a man that you want that? Most men would be very happy to do that for you!

LORD NO! I'm just saying it might happen the first time. I'm not an angel. If I were out with a new guy and we went back somewhere and things got hot and heavy I could be very receptive of this type of action if I want him badly enough. I'm still not good at the sex talk petite. :redface:

 

[thetramp]

Does it have to be the first time you have sex? Can't you just tell a man that you want that? Most men would be very happy to do that for you!

I have to agree here, you either got to make it clear, or wait for him to find out, but if he is supposed to find it out, the only way is try'n error reading the responses, but that means you have to give him the chance to try and find an error if you want him to find eventually what you want.
And for the first time it is always a little bit of don't spoil it, it is easier to get more uninhibited and rough than to win someone back you scared off.

 

[petite]

LORD NO! I'm just saying it might happen the first time. I'm not an angel. If I were out with a new guy and we went back somewhere and things got hot and heavy I could be very receptive of this type of action if I want him badly enough. I'm still not good at the sex talk petite. :redface:

Well I knew that you weren't an angel! I'm not one either! And thank goodness we aren't. :smile:

You need to find someone that you can talk about what you want in bed. It sounds like you have a lot of fantasies that a lot of men would love to fulfill for you if you just told them what you wanted. :wink:

 

[HiddenLacey]

Well I knew that you weren't an angel! I'm not one either! And thank goodness we aren't. :smile:

You need to find someone that you can talk about what you want in bed. It sounds like you have a lot of fantasies that a lot of men would love to fulfill for you if you just told them what you wanted. :wink:

I'm taking care of business, you know that from the ladies group

Then I think I'll move on to exploring! I still think I'm alittle shy to come out and say "what I really want is for you to pin me down across the table and fuck me till I scream"