A Lot Of 90-100% Str8 Guys Here Are Down To At Least Get A M/m Bj. How’d That Happen?

Charlie66

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I’m interested in hearing from guys who have tried it, giving or getting, and how it went. I joined this group because lately I’ve become interested in what appears to be a subculture, perhaps even larger than that, of straight or mostly straight identifying guys seemingly being pretty active in terms of having a guy or two who’ll blow them, and some guys who even return the favor. I’m 45, and though I’ll admit that the idea has crossed my mind in the past (honestly, who hasn’t thought of it at least a little), I never considered m/m sexual interactions very seriously or for very long. Now that I’m getting older and my wife has lost a lot of interest in sex, getting blown by guys isn't seeming so bad of an option. I seem to be in the boat of countless guys who are in exactly my shoes and who still need to get off and who love a good blowjob, but who don't want to fuck up their marriage with the drama of an affair.

The more I read about the world of “brojobs” the more I want to try it out. I’d definitely be interested in having a situation where I could get BJs on the regular without any of the psychosexual overhang or general drama that I’ve always found with women, but I also find myself thinking that it might be rewarding to have one of more buddies who could hit me up for a BJ when in need. I find this bit surprising about myself because I’m not interested in men sexually (to my knowledge), and I don't even have any interest at looking at all the dicks on this site. And I don't even like having things in my mouth and think that I’d find giving head pretty boring as an activity (it seems pretty repetitive), but what does appeal to me is the idea of helping a buddy out with something that pretty much every guy could use more of, and so many guys end up doing without, which ends up making them pretty miserable people. We’re guys, we’re built to get off pretty much constantly, and not really put any thought or meaning behind it, but often end up getting shamed for being horny beasts who think with our dicks - especially in later life when women aren’t necessarily anywhere near as into it. Helping another guy out with something so basic to being a man, and which doesn't even look that hard, seem like it would be pretty nice.

The idea of getting BJs from someone who really loves it is also pretty enticing to me. I've had a few women who really seemed to love regularly sucking a load out of me because they really loved sucking cock and they loved making me happy, and those women had some pretty good technique and passion for the job because they really wanted to be there. My experience with most women, however, has been kind of pro forma. They gave BJs as a small part of sex not as a complete act in itself, and their passion for it and skill was middling to shit. Blowjobs can be AWESOME and I’d imagine that if a guy is blowing you, it’s not because he’s looking for something else, it’s because he really wants to suck cock. I’d definitely be interested in seeing what kinds of advanced skills are on offer out there.

Let me say that I in no way want this to become a flame war, especially with this being my first post (long time listener, first time caller). There seem to be a band of guys on this site, just like in the real world, who have appointed themselves arbiter of all things and cast iron judgement on absolutist divisions between what they find to be straight behavior and gay behavior. I think that’s ridiculous. Those are the kinds of guys who, recent studies show, don't recycle because they worry that it might make them look gay. People with that level of insecurity and rigidness of thought, well, I’m genuinely not interested in what they have to say. If you can look at and talk about cocks no end, but consider yourself completely straight, you can certainly get a BJ from a guy and be straight.

Part of the reason I can see no problem with a straight identifying guy getting a BJ from a guy is because guys have been using everything and anything to get off since the the dawn of time and aren’t actually sexually interested in melons, for example. Lots of teenage boys have put peanut butter on their dicks just to feel a tongue on their dick but aren’t actually lusting after Fido. But a lot of that isn’t the point for me because I’ve come to see a lot of labels, especially sexual labels as meaningless. A lot of it is all about crutches for insecure or intellectually limited people. Sexual researchers find easy labels ridiculous, and if you know anything about anthropology, you’ll know that a lot of what we rigidly define as straight/masculine behavior today has been all over the board in terms of how it’s been defined by other cultures. More to the point, in cultures where there aren’t really any prohibitions on at least oral m/m sexual relations (like ancient Greece - which I had to learn a fair bit about in school), m/m blowjobs were/are as common as dirt. Most guys got them, and a very large percentage were happy to give them. I’m of the opinion that sex can just be meaningless fun, it’s when you get involved in matters of emotional or even certain levels of physical intimacy that labels might start to come into play a bit.

But that’s all beside the point. So, who’s tried it and how did it work out? The idea of being able to get my needs met in a friendly, light hearted, no-drama situation really appeals to me. I think it would absolutely need to be a situation where I felt 100% comfortable with the other guy in terms of knowing that he had no intentions beyond oral. If I thought for a minute that he might want to go there, or make out, or kiss, or anything other than the directness and simplicity of a BJ, I’d be out. In fact, I wouldn't even want a reciprocal situation. If I want a BJ, I want it to be all about me, so returning the favor would really kill it for me. And if I’m the one doing the blowing, I wouldn't want him getting off on my dick because that would mean that there’s something more to the situation than mere mechanics.

Basically, I’m looking for a very practical situation to get my needs met, and it seems that a TON of guys on this site have nailed this down and are happy in the arrangement, so any advice on positives and pitfalls, or experiences where the reality didn't meet the theory would be appreciated.

Thanks.
 

EnglishP

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I'm a mostly gay man and I understand completely what you mean and appreciate your openness to talk about things you're feeling. I believe sexual physical actions are mostly fluid for everyone. I think getting off from something doesnt change your sexual orientation or preference it's just allowing yourself to be pleasured
 

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Very good post. And interesting to hear a straight guy open up so much about how he feels. I think you are spot on. I actually am a lot like you. I love getting a blow job, but only from someone who loves sucking dick. I meant the guy that is passionate about being able to suck cock. I have no interest in getting sucked off by someone who thinks they are obligated to do so for one reason or another.

And on the other hand, I also love sucking dick. Just that feeling of a cock going down my throat totally turns me on. Oddly enough, I really don't like 69. I either want 100% attention on my dick, or I want to give 100% of the attention on the other guys dick. We can trade off if the other guy feels the same way, But it can't be a requirement.

For some reason, I have had a lot of straight guys approach me. And the experiences have really been great for both of us. I am always happy to have them explore just what they are comfortable in doing.
 

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Very good post. And interesting to hear a straight guy open up so much about how he feels. I think you are spot on. I actually am a lot like you. I love getting a blow job, but only from someone who loves sucking dick. I meant the guy that is passionate about being able to suck cock. I have no interest in getting sucked off by someone who thinks they are obligated to do so for one reason or another.

And on the other hand, I also love sucking dick. Just that feeling of a cock going down my throat totally turns me on. Oddly enough, I really don't like 69. I either want 100% attention on my dick, or I want to give 100% of the attention on the other guys dick. We can trade off if the other guy feels the same way, But it can't be a requirement.

For some reason, I have had a lot of straight guys approach me. And the experiences have really been great for both of us. I am always happy to have them explore just what they are comfortable in doing.
I completely agree with Auncut. I love giving BJs and I love getting them, but 69 has always seemed like a bad compromise to me---like 2 guys neither of whom really wanted to give head, but decided "hey, you blow me and I will blow you and that way no one can talk!"
 

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I'm surprised that I haven't gotten much in the way of responses. The reason I posted it is because this site has TONS of guys on it who have shared that they're pretty involved in either having a guy or two who blow them on the regular, or guys who they blow, or who have had some experiences but want more. Most of those accounts deal with how great the BJs are or how much they love head, but I think that's a given. What I was looking for was how you happened into it and how you integrated it into your life. I've seen one or two accounts of that, and one account of a guy who tried it because it does make so much sense on paper but found out that it wasn't for him, but I haven't found much in the way of how it fits into a real world scenario.

One of the things that really interests me about it, other than the convenience and simplicity, is how it appears to be almost a non-sexual event. Blowjobs move from being something intimate and sexual (as with women) to being great in terms of sensation but a totally different experience, kind of fun, friendly, and fraternal - not erotic. I think removing the seriousness of it all would be something pretty refreshing. Being able to nonchalantly knock one out when you're in the mood, laugh about it, and be on with your day without any afterthoughts I'd think would be cool as hell. But I don't know if the reality is something very different than the theory.
 

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I'm surprised that I haven't gotten much in the way of responses. The reason I posted it is because this site has TONS of guys on it who have shared that they're pretty involved in either having a guy or two who blow them on the regular, or guys who they blow, or who have had some experiences but want more. Most of those accounts deal with how great the BJs are or how much they love head, but I think that's a given. What I was looking for was how you happened into it and how you integrated it into your life. I've seen one or two accounts of that, and one account of a guy who tried it because it does make so much sense on paper but found out that it wasn't for him, but I haven't found much in the way of how it fits into a real world scenario.

One of the things that really interests me about it, other than the convenience and simplicity, is how it appears to be almost a non-sexual event. Blowjobs move from being something intimate and sexual (as with women) to being great in terms of sensation but a totally different experience, kind of fun, friendly, and fraternal - not erotic. I think removing the seriousness of it all would be something pretty refreshing. Being able to nonchalantly knock one out when you're in the mood, laugh about it, and be on with your day without any afterthoughts I'd think would be cool as hell. But I don't know if the reality is something very different than the theory.

Actually, your theory is on target with the straight guy that I've blown several times. We have met up at motels a few times (neither of us can host), and we are both very busy with our construction work. But when I have a house under way where I know we can have 5 minutes of privacy, I let him know and we can arrange a quick meet.
 
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ItsAll4Kim

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It's bi-denial. Thanks to the stigma of anything remotely non-heterosexual, these guys call themselves straight. If it's a passing experiment, sure, fine. But when it's on the regular, that man is not straight. A straight guy "just looking to get off" has plenty of heterosexual avenues for that release. He certainly doesn't need to add the risk of what he likely most fears...being outed...to everything else. It doesn't need to be romance, a relationship, etc. Bi can be just sex too.
 

Charlie66

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It's bi-denial. Thanks to the stigma of anything remotely non-heterosexual, these guys call themselves straight. If it's a passing experiment, sure, fine. But when it's on the regular, that man is not straight. A straight guy "just looking to get off" has plenty of heterosexual avenues for that release. He certainly doesn't need to add the risk of what he likely most fears...being outed...to everything else. It doesn't need to be romance, a relationship, etc. Bi can be just sex too.

And, another person who can't read and needs things to fit into a discrete ideological box hits the dust. Dogs hump a lot of legs, guys hump a lot of Fleshlights, getting off conveniently can be very much absent of attraction and defy simple definition.

More to the point, historically, there seems to be a HUGE blur between attraction and convenience. BJs between guys have often been, "I'll do you if you'll do me", or some semblance of that. Rome was more locked down in this than Greece, but it was cool to apologize to someone you've wronged or pay off (or get a reduction) of a gambling debt by providing a BJ. For a few hundred years, if you were a grunt in the Roman army, you could increase your status by engaging in a ritual where you'd blow to completion at least three guys in your local unit within 20 minutes. If you failed, you'd get a sword through your back (it's an interesting story).

Part of my gig has to do with AI, so epistemology (how knowledge is discovered) and how reality is defined is part of my wheelhouse. Sexuality is part of reality for humans, so that's part of what I've looked at. I could go on for a long time about this, but our culture and period in history is pretty weird in that it conveys SO much meaning to this very binary definition about how you spew your goo. Throughout most of history, what made you a man was having children and showing bravery, as long as you satisfied those biological imperatives (replacing yourself and defending others), if you got your dick sucked by a bro, well, that was all in good fun. The guy blowing may or may not have issues, but the guy being blown was just a male dog humping a cushion. The guy providing the fun might be feminized, or he might just be a team player, it depends. But basically, blowjobs were for shits and giggles, no pressure.

Now idiots like this responder get their panties in a bunch about labels.

One of the things which really interested me on this site are the threads about US Marines. Most guys wouldn't question their masculinity and for good reason. And yet, they have a huge history of being blown by other dudes - on tape! Sex researchers study, in particular, the "Bobby Garcia" tapes where one guy, in a shitty apartment near a Marine base, managed to film himself blowing hundreds, by some estimates, thousands of Marines in the 90's. If you've solidly indemnified yourself s a "man", who diddles your bits seems to be beside the point. This is in keeping with how most guys have defined themselves. At least when it comes to BJs. The fact that it's changed today, and almost certainly briefly, is interesting to me.

I think that now that getting your dick sucked on the the DL has moved from washrooms and pickle parks to online service providers, definitions of what's straight and gay, what's masculine and feminine, what's normal and natural, what's standard and what's outlier, are shifting again. I think is all about who you want to crush, not who'll you'll accept in a pinch.
 

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Btw, on the other side of the fence, I think that it's equally unnatural for gay guys to be repulsed by women. Maybe you're not attracted to them, but if they're pretty chill and like sucking dick? Why the fuck not? Admittedly, this is not the norm. Most women aren't into giving blowies as a casual, uncomplicated "solid" for a friend, but if they are, why the fuck not? More to the point, pussies are awesome! I've never fucked a dude and never want to (too intimate) but even gay guys would have to admit that pussies are designed to get the job done, and if those women exercise their pussy muscles and can clamp down? Any guy, gay or straight, who'd pass that up is a fool. Some women may not be tight but leg crossovers can fix that to some extent.
 

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Honestly I don’t think it matters lmao like in my opinion head is head regardless of who it is. I have a straight friend who’s let me blow him a few times and once even blew me out of curiosity and has sent pics if I asked nicely lol one time I asked him if it makes him feel weird because I ask him for pics and he sends them and he said no, it was kind of like a compliment to ask? If that makes sense. So everyone no matter what they identify as always as a different opinion Lol anyway I think that people just need to get over what counts as ”gay” behind closed doors because you can like other things that others would say would make you “gay” but that’s not the case (like I said head is head who cares who’s giving it to you) lol and I mean just go have fun, experiment try new things it’s like food how you gonna know if you like it or kinda like it if you don’t try it
 
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My dilemma is that while I'm turned on by giant cocks, I'm not physically attracted to men at all (or at least 99.9% of them). Which is why it hasn't happened for me
 

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Interesting post Charlie 66. While I agree with you that there are many married men who get blow jobs and other sex on the side, I think the majority if asked would acknowledge that they're somewhere on the sliding sexuality spectrum spanning straight on one end and gay on the other end with a whole lot of gray and bisexuality and other nuances somewhere in between.

I am a very happy married man (except for my sexual void in my marriage) and I identify on this site as 99% straight. I have no interest in men as a relationship and I love women, hence the 99%. But some where along the line in late grade school my friend and I discovered each other's cocks and many many many years later we still share today. We're both married and we both discovered the slippery slope of truth or dare as a starting point and now today we just love each other with our hands and our mouths. No attraction to him whatsoever but I feel that bisexuals (that's where I identify, know you hate labels) are innately great lovers and don't particularly care who is loving them or who they are loving.

I struggled early on with what that meant and worried 20 years ago that I was gay and now I realize I'm just on that spectrum somewhere and that I am a bisexual as I will make anybody happy. The 1st time I gave a blow job, the encounter was exciting and the act itself was just OK as my buddy was pretending that he wasn't enjoying it. Soon we realized the pleasure involved and the joy of giving somebody a blow job and working really hard for your partner is at least half the fun for me.

And by the way even though they are a bit challenging, I absolutely love 69s as my buddy and I share that as well both gripping each other's ass tightly and deep throating each other is an incredibly intimate moment for me.

So I understand pretty much everything that you wrote and find it very interesting. Just know that I was in your position at one time and I never imagined in a million years that I would swallow, and I never imagined in a million years that I would kiss another man in passion, and I never imagined in a million years that I'd ever stick my finger up another man's ass to help him cum. It's a slippery slope, come join all of us in the "gray area".
 

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Straight = closet gay
The "straight" category here also includes heterosexuals who aren't interested in m/m blow jobs.
It's a hiding place for those who don't want to publically identify as being gay.
 

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Btw, on the other side of the fence, I think that it's equally unnatural for gay guys to be repulsed by women. Maybe you're not attracted to them, but if they're pretty chill and like sucking dick? Why the fuck not? Admittedly, this is not the norm. Most women aren't into giving blowies as a casual, uncomplicated "solid" for a friend, but if they are, why the fuck not? More to the point, pussies are awesome! I've never fucked a dude and never want to (too intimate) but even gay guys would have to admit that pussies are designed to get the job done, and if those women exercise their pussy muscles and can clamp down? Any guy, gay or straight, who'd pass that up is a fool. Some women may not be tight but leg crossovers can fix that to some extent.

WTF?
I am 100% gay. I have zero sexual interest or attraction to women. I have had many, many women who tried to seduce me when I was young and confused. One very sexy woman, whom I'm still good friends with, actually got me in bed with her-- after lots of alcohol---but I came to my senses and stopped the train!
I've had (and still have) many wonderful female friends. As I explained to 5gay that I can have lots of women as friends. They know that they are totally safe with me, that I am not sexually a threat.
At the same time, as a Kinsey 6, I am completely grossed out by female anatomy. I can now manage to look at breasts but pussies or even women's
 
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Charlie66

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WTF?
I am 100% gay. I have zero sexual interest or attraction to women. I have had many, many women who tried to seduce me when I was young and confused. One very sexy woman, whom I'm still good friends with, actually got me in bed with her-- after lots of alcohol---but I came to my senses and stopped the train!
I've had (and still have) many wonderful female friends. As I explained to 5gay that I can have lots of women as friends. They know that they are totally safe with me, that I am not sexually a threat.
At the same time, as a Kinsey 6, I am completely grossed out by female anatomy. I can now manage to look at breasts but pussies or even women's

I specifically pointed out that it wasn't unnatural for some guys to not be ATTRACTED to women's parts, but that I did find it to be an unnatural state to be actively REPULSED by them. A big mental mistake that a lot of people in this culture make is equating a lack of repulsion with attraction. These two things are not the same. My point is, I promise you that if you stuck your dick in a pussy, it would not feel terrible to you. You wouldn't be attracted to the woman, and her looks alone wouldn't get your hard, but once you slip it in there, it would feel pretty damn good. Maybe even looking at it would make you go soft, but if you concentrated on some porn or just closed your eyes, you'd probably have a good old time pounding away. To this point, if roles were reversed and guys were reluctant to hand out BJs but women were total sluts who'd suck you off or bend over for you and treat it like a handshake, I promise you that a lot of gay guys would get over their lack of attraction to women and be dropping by for easy head on the regular. Guys are built to get off. Testosterone is the basis of the sex drive in both men and women but men produce it by the gallon and women by the trickle. Joe Rogan has this comedy bit about why guys are such dogs where he argues that men are basically cum factories - that every minute of the day we're producing more and more cum, and that when the factory floor is out of storage space we just have to get rid of some. We're always producing this product and consequently always in search of ways to unload it.
 
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