A man walked into a bar

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by B_dumbcow, Sep 27, 2008.

  1. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    :nana: Must have hurt :tongue:

    Hooray for cheesy old jokes.
     
  2. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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  3. ManlyBanisters

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    *groans*

    Horse in a bar... barman turns to him and says "So why the long face?"

    *groans more*
     
  4. Gl3nn

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    Big intimidating guy walks in a bar and says:
    "A beer or else..."

    Bartender says: "Or else what?!"

    Guy: " A hot chocolate"
     
  5. D_but wait you also get

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The barkeep says, "Sorry, we only have plain."
    [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
     
  6. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    :rolleyes:

    A mushroom walks into a bar...
    Bartender says "sorry, but we don't serve your kind here"
    Mushroom says "why? I'm a fun guy!"
     
  7. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    A tomato walks into a bar and orders a beer.
    Bartender says "Oh my God! A talking tomato!"
     
  8. OCMuscleJock

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    Two vampires walk into a bar... one orders a hot glass of blood...the other orders hot water...
    confused..the bartender goes...why the hot water?

    the other vampire pulls out two used tampons and says...TEA TIME!

    *throws up a lil*
     
  9. D_but wait you also get

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
    [/FONT]
     
  10. D_Gerald McBoink Boink

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    A dyslexic guy walked in to a bra
     
  11. RICKY_27

    RICKY_27 Well-Known Member

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    ....and told the barman, if you give me a bottle of whisky I will FART the National Anthem.

    The barman said, get out of here or I will call the police. A customer said, "Hey I gotta see this, I will pay for the whisky, give it to him and lets see what happens".

    So the guy drank the whole bottle of whisky and then dropped his pants and SHIT all over the bar!! The barman said, get this bastard out of here at once!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

    The guy responded, 'wait just a minute, even Pavaroti was allowed to clear his throat':biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

    RICKY-27
     
  12. D_but wait you also get

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. I can't serve you. says the bartender. You're Bard![/FONT]
     
  13. Calboner

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    A blind guy with a seeing-eye dog walks into a bar, picks up his dog, and swings it around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" The blind guy says, "Just having a look around."
     
  14. Calboner

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    A duck waddles into a bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No, we haven't got any grapes! This is a bar; we sell drinks! You can either order a drink or get out." So the duck leaves.

    The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?"

    "Look, it's just like I told you yesterday: we sell drinks, not grapes! If you're not going to order a drink, get out of here!" So the duck leaves again.

    The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?"

    The bartender yells at him, "For the last fucking time, no, we haven't got any fucking grapes! And if you come in here and ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your fucking beak to the counter! Now get the hell out of my bar!" So the duck leaves again.

    The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?" The bartender, momentarily nonplussed, says, "Nails? No, we haven't got any nails." "Good," says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
     
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