A mean undertone to many gay sites?

Discussion in 'Gay Adult Websites' started by cyravance, Apr 14, 2010.

  1. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    I know, I know, and I swear I'm not generalizing, but it's just that several sites I've looked at seem to have this kinda nasty undertone to them. Like one called "Baitbus". And then the supposed "gay for pay" sites. Even the better sites seem to relish the 'look of pain' thing during anal sex.
    As a woman who loves gay porn, I want to know why we can't see more porn where the bottom guy has a 'lips open, eyes half-closed' look while he is being made love to by another guy. That's right...MADE LOVE TO. Why does the bottom guy have to have his ass "ripped open", "plowed", "torn up", etc? Why can't he be made love to and ENJOY it? Why does most gay porn I've seen seem to show the guys bottoming as being tortured? Faces all screwed up, grunts of pain...why? If it was all that awful, no one would be doing it, would they?
    And more kissing. There really needs to be more kissing. And not just the "Mruuch, mruuch" kinda thing you see where they just pop their lips together, but real slow, deep, tongue wrestling kinda kissing...
    Ah, maybe someday the porn world will cater to my needs...*sigh*
     
  2. rude

    rude Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    308
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    90
    Gender:
    Male
    good point!!!!
     
  3. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    Yes thanks! I'd like to know what others think as well. This is something I noticed while checking a lot of sites out. As someone who probably prefers gay erotica, I find the emphasis on hard and rough a bit off-putting in porn.
    Now, I know that there is a strong female audience for gay erotica, but what do you gay guys think about this? I'd love to know. Is gay porn addressing your needs?
     
  4. rockit

    rockit New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2006
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's because we're guys and not girls. The tender emotional connection isn't in most guys' fantasies as often (if at all) like it is with women.
     
  5. cklover

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,362
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New England
    It's a gay thing:mischievous:
     
  6. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    I guess, and I'll respect your feelings on it. But, I really, REALLY love gay erotica, as do many other women. We would just like to see more stuff we can enjoy.
     
  7. Countryguy63

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,447
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    Verified:
    Photo

    Thank Gosh I'm not gay :tongue:
    I want my man to be tender and caring!
     
  8. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Messages:
    7,317
    Likes Received:
    8
    It depends, by no means is all gay porn just rough nasty brutal stuff, and there is a lot of hot power bottom porn (where the bottom is fully enjoying and often in charge of the fuck) and even "boyfriend" porn too where the performers evince a more intimate seeming enjoyment of what they're doing. However a lot of gay porn does cater for the more brutal taste because it can be extremely hot.

    I tend to parcel Bait-Bus and Gay for Pay type porn up as the fantasy of humiliating and exploiting straight men which is undoubtedly a very popular fantasy for many gay men, and there is a lot of hardcore gay on gay humiliation and brutal fucking out there too, though much of this counts as intimate for many guys.

    I think Rockit has a point, many men have a much more atavistic and ego driven sexual identity which has little to do with enjoyment of "lovemaking" and many men also have a need to feel dominated and even exploited by their male sexual partners, and much of this is reflected in the porn they watch.

    However there are also many many gay men who share your enjoyment of more obviously intimate and less Sub/Dom driven porn (and sex in real life for that matter), Levi Poulter is an excellent performer in this more intimate genre and he makes it extremely hot too linky - MiamiLevi.com but he's just one example, there are many others. Keep exploring there's definitely a lot of stuff out there you're likely to enjoy. :)
     
    #8 D_Tim McGnaw, Apr 14, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2010
  9. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    Thank you, hilaire! I'll check out that site, and I'll keep looking...I know there's a lot of stuff out there. It just gets so tiring going through it all sometimes...*sigh*
     
  10. cheeseloglover

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2006
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    All those phrases are pretty common for straight porn as well. Now if it's established that pornography 1) is all about fantasy and 2) has a predominantly male audience, then it seems that these power imbalances between sex partners is an inherent part of male sexual fantasy - *regardless* of whether they are straight or not. Look at straight porn: the ones getting fucked are called bitches/sluts/all sorts of things. Gay porn has tops fucking bottoms (and bitches and sluts).

    The parlance of porn sets up and plays off of male expectations about power and sex. Men in general find titles like "Bottom Bitch Boy Gets Ass Torn Open" or "Petite Slut Reamed in Both Holes" more viscerally appealing than something like "Loving Equals Satisfy Each Others' Needs and Then Cuddle".

    Alright, that last title is pretty ridiculous but what I'm trying to say is that the fantasy of sexual domination is NOT exclusively for homosexuals, but rather common for most guys. :scratchchin:
     
  11. B_Lonely

    B_Lonely New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kent, UK
    Naturally porn is a great fantasy, but most wouldn't want their boyfriend to act exclusively in that manner. I'd love to find myself a man who is both caring and a tiger in the sack :p

    A partnership of loving equals is something I'd like to find. But for porn, it isn't always something you want to see, especially when you're horny!

    Speaking of which, there was a really passionate video on here lately that just set my mind on fire. So perhaps that is what we need.. Not tenderness in porn, but more lustful passion, and less painful violence?
     
  12. slurper_la

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    5,375
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    721
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles (CA, US)
    right on sister. I agree with you 100%

    here's what you (and I) have been looking for: GayForIt.com - beautiful couple
     
  13. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    Thanks 'slurper', that was a nice one! You see, guys, there was no "busting", "tearing", destroying of asses...No calls to 911, no need for surgical intervention or blood transfusions...just a nice, long sexy video of two good looking guys making love.

    And it worked!
     
  14. scottredleter

    scottredleter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    748
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego
    I think you are right, but sex between men, even men in love with each other is just more masculine and aggressive. it seems odd, but I find that gay sex is the most masculine thing there is in the world. it is, by its very nature, void of femininity, with all the beautiful tenderness that comes with womanhood. We think of sex more like a recreational activity... like bowling. Any kind of tenderness and spooning only comes (if at all) after we've smacked each other around and pounded some good holes. It's the same kind of thing you see with athletes competing. there is a wild untamable psychosis to men playing sports, and it's the same with sex.
    Speaking for myself, I would be so bored with any kind of vanilla sex that I'd rather just not have any.
    there is also a push back against the more 'homogenized' views about sex these days. I don't look to the straight community at all to see how my relationships should work. That includes monogamy, sexual behavior, living arrangements, etc. I like to keep sex dirty. More enlightened views about sexuality in general are most welcome, but I'd hate to see it ruin my fun.
    I miss the days of the sprawling gay ghettos where we all lived and worked and were a true community. I was in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago and i went out in the Castro (in case you don't know, the Castro is the first and ultimate gay ghetto). i was shocked as I watched a ll these pretty little girls with long hair and dresses hanging out at the same bars I came out in, only the bars are now chrome and steel and glass instead of beer crates and urinal troughs... I was hart-broken. Thankfully, there are other areas where I can go to find that where it is still alive... back underground... where we like it.
     
  15. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    Scottredleter, you make a good point, one that I failed to take into account. There IS a difference in how men and women "do" sex. So I guess two manly types of guys might be a bit more aggressive with each other than either might be with a woman, a different dynamic going on...
    I DO think there is a large market for the gentler stuff, though, both among women and many gay men. I don't think the porn industry has really tried to capture that market. It seems that softer stuff is rare, or accidental, in most porn out there today. So, folks like me trying to wend my way through what's out there tend to see a lot of "ripping", "tearing", and "busting" with very little affection. Or those awful "Let's fuck with the straight guy" sites, which are kinda like the "Jackass" series of porn.
     
  16. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    Oh jeez, I just found one called "StraightHell.net", with the tag line, "Because they fucking deserve it!"...
     
  17. scottredleter

    scottredleter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    748
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego
    I don't think the porn industry has ever really taken women as customers into account at all... I do know that more straight women watch gay porn than staraight porn... there's a study in there somewhere...
     
  18. Tau

    Tau New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2010
    Messages:
    37
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Joburg
    *fans self* Exactly!
    I love the roughed up bottom personally - the idea of having pleasure and pain forced on you is what makes porn hot for me. The willing, loving kind makes me sleepy LOL! Even as I think about it my favourite Yaoi and Slash stories are also the kind where the bottom is unwilling but secretly wants a thorough pounding and those are mostly written by women for women.
     
  19. Tau

    Tau New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2010
    Messages:
    37
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Joburg
    No, not really but I've recently stumbled over Pink&White Productions who produce some of the most mind melting lesbian porn I've ever watched and those are movies made by women with women in mind. I think most female porn watchers look for fetish/niche content. I personally can't stand that straight, boring, dry sex with the super airbrushed chicks with giant fake boobs *shudders* Anime, bondage, fat girls, gay boys - that rocks my boat and if you've taken the time to find out what really pushes your buttons you can find porn out there that is perfect for you.
     
  20. cyravance

    cyravance New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    PA
    Oh Tau, bless you for your upbeat attitude, but unfortunately NO ONE is making the kind of porn that would be perfect for me!...(A word of advice...don't ever get the hots for tattooed Russian felons, because there is NOTHING out there!) *sigh*
    So, I have to settle for my second best thing, gay porn.
    And Scott, I believe you are right, there ARE a lot of women who like gay porn...I wish the industry would accept us and try and work with us, but it almost seems like there is a resentment amongst some for us "horning in" on the action.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted