a need to explore

[johnjacobs]

here are my problems. did gay stuff in high school and it was so-so. anyway, years later i'm here wishing i had done more, except now the guys who i did stuff with who i still want to do things with don't want to do anything gay anymore (i don't necessarily believe that but that's what i've been told). i was talking to some dude on craig's list for awhile who seemed like a great catch (19, buff, huge dick) but i'm not so sure about it, because a)i dont want to run into some creepy dude(i didn't meet this guy) and b)i don't want the whole world knowing i'm gay. i know, its horrible, any suggestions? its really annoying because i want to try some more gay stuff with a hard catch-eg somebody who's JUST or close enough like me: good looking, huge cock, and wants to experiment.

 

[rob_just_rob]

Do the craiglist or some other online personals thing, anonymously. Meet at a coffee shop or somewhere similar. If he is misrepresenting himself or otherwise creepy, walk out and don't look back.

Repeat until it works.

 

[VW53]

"Gay stuff?" Like what, you bought a pair of shoes and a belt that matched?

j/k.

You can try the craigslist thing, or there's always adam4adam.

 

[D_Deceptivus Wrongpeter]

Do the craiglist or some other online personals thing, anonymously. Meet at a coffee shop or somewhere similar. If he is misrepresenting himself or otherwise creepy, walk out and don't look back.

Repeat until it works.

Ditto this advice. You have to sort thru a lot of Internet BS before you find somebody that's compatible. A lot of "regular" guys like to play with cock: Finding them's hard, but once you have a steady buddy, it can go on for years. (<<< Voice of Experience)

Pointers: Go back and look at ads going back a month or so. Don't bother with guys that post more than once a week. Check adjacent cities, mostly to be sure you aren't dealing with a picture collector.

Decide if you want to answer ads, or place them. Either has its advantages. I prefer ads that are reasonably detailed. If you have requirements, go ahead and use "non negotiable" wording like "must be between 18-35", or "Must send recent pic". Believe me, you will not believe how many guys can not or will not follow directions... always a bad sign.

If you send out a pic of your self, do it in ordinary street cloths, and crop it between your mouth and stomach. Be careful of identifying furniture, backgrounds and tattoos. That's enough to tell if it's interesting.

Meet in a public place for coffee, or drive thru a McDonads and chat in the parking lot. Make sure he knows that this is an inspection and there is no guarantee for sex. Talk to him. Ask questions.

I personally prefer to mess around with bi men. If you do too, talk about females, and ask when the last time he got down with a lady. Make him talk about it. Does his eyes light up when he talks about her breasts? I've discovered way too many gay men trying to pass themselves off as bi, and I've walked out on several encounters because of it.

 

[Darkriff]

Yeah I agree with some others, give the craig's list thing another shot, give no photos, ask for an identifying mark from the guy you're meeting so that YOU know it's him, and meet somewhere casual and public, such as Wal-Mart parking lot or McDonalds. Try to get a picture of him if possible. Would probably avoid someone that doesn't wanna hand out a pic anyway IMHO. Once you find the guy with the identifying mark you've been given, if he doesn't stack up to what you've been told, just drive off. If he is and you wanna take it a little further, then 1.) Don't go back to anywhere that you associate with. IE: Your house. 2.) Ensure that you have as much privacy as you're comfortable with, but also make sure that you have a quick means of escape should something go wrong. IE: You have a cheap hotel room, your room number is B5 but you parked at Q7182. Get my drift? lol.

 

[D_Deceptivus Wrongpeter]

Ditto Darkriff: He mentions a few things that slipped my mind. In the perfect set up you go to a hotel room. That way he doesn't know anything about you (like where you live -- remember Dangerous Obsessions?) and you avoid a trap (his place might have cameras. Public venues are automatic grounds for a bust.)

I know this all sounds cloak and dagger, and yeah, it takes the fun out of it...but call it personal experience:

I've been stalked
I found out a "friend" of mine liked hidden cameras in the bed room
I picked up a cop in street clothes by "mistake".

Oh, the good news with the cop: He really was looking for sex.

 

[Darkriff]

Oh, the good news with the cop: He really was looking for sex.

ROFL, that's awesome, glad it worked out for ya. And thnx for the compliment ^^ *beams*

 

[craig_uk]

Ditto this advice. You have to sort thru a lot of Internet BS before you find somebody that's compatible. A lot of "regular" guys like to play with cock: Finding them's hard, but once you have a steady buddy, it can go on for years. (<<< Voice of Experience)

Pointers: Go back and look at ads going back a month or so. Don't bother with guys that post more than once a week. Check adjacent cities, mostly to be sure you aren't dealing with a picture collector.

Decide if you want to answer ads, or place them. Either has its advantages. I prefer ads that are reasonably detailed. If you have requirements, go ahead and use "non negotiable" wording like "must be between 18-35", or "Must send recent pic". Believe me, you will not believe how many guys can not or will not follow directions... always a bad sign.

If you send out a pic of your self, do it in ordinary street cloths, and crop it between your mouth and stomach. Be careful of identifying furniture, backgrounds and tattoos. That's enough to tell if it's interesting.

Meet in a public place for coffee, or drive thru a McDonads and chat in the parking lot. Make sure he knows that this is an inspection and there is no guarantee for sex. Talk to him. Ask questions.

I personally prefer to mess around with bi men. If you do too, talk about females, and ask when the last time he got down with a lady. Make him talk about it. Does his eyes light up when he talks about her breasts? I've discovered way too many gay men trying to pass themselves off as bi, and I've walked out on several encounters because of it.

I agree with most of this but I don't think questioning a guy about his relationship with his wife or girfriend is far from useful. Sure there are gay guys who might claim to be bi but how is this going to help? CL is full of time wasters and guys who are just looking for material to wank over. I suspect most genuine guys would be deterred by someone more interested in sex with their partner than sex with them them and most of those looking to get off on stories would be encouraged. If you are seriously looking to have sex with a guy you are probably best to talk about that.

Yeah I agree with some others, give the craig's list thing another shot, give no photos, ask for an identifying mark from the guy you're meeting so that YOU know it's him, and meet somewhere casual and public, such as Wal-Mart parking lot or McDonalds. Try to get a picture of him if possible. Would probably avoid someone that doesn't wanna hand out a pic anyway IMHO. Once you find the guy with the identifying mark you've been given, if he doesn't stack up to what you've been told, just drive off. If he is and you wanna take it a little further, then 1.) Don't go back to anywhere that you associate with. IE: Your house. 2.) Ensure that you have as much privacy as you're comfortable with, but also make sure that you have a quick means of escape should something go wrong. IE: You have a cheap hotel room, your room number is B5 but you parked at Q7182. Get my drift? lol.

Do you actually do this yourself? How does it work for you? Just seems very complicated. You don't want to take unnecessary risks but going over the top is going to freak people out.

You seem to be suggesting to this guy never give out a picture but always insists on one. How does this work? If you ask for a picture the other guy is going to ask for one. Don't ask for a picture unless you are prepared to send one.

Always exhange phone numbers once you have agreed to meet. Without a cell/mobile phone actually meeting is more unlikely than not meeting.

A cheap hotel is possible if there isn't another option but you can go to his place, get his full address up front if you can and be clear before you go that a mate knows you are going to be there. You probably won't tell anyone so leave a note on your computer and even send a text/email to yourself when you get there if you want.

Don't lead guys on; only reply to an advert if you are serious about going through with it.

 

[Darkriff]

Do you actually do this yourself? How does it work for you? Just seems very complicated. You don't want to take unnecessary risks but going over the top is going to freak people out.

No I don't do this myself. I'm happily married and see no reason in doing it. I've never thought about it and it was what first came to mind. Granted I didn't fully think it through, but it was just a suggestion, a means to start and to get him thinking. And I was wrong as to suggest to not giving out a picture of himself. I wouldn't give the guy he's trying to meet any personal information at all tho. Giving a stranger your address is very risky. Especially when it comes to something like sex. Sex altho normal, and a great way to express your love for someone, isn't that to everyone. Some just like to bust a nut and don't care for feelings to be involved. Altho not everyone is out to rape you, it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. I was just suggesting that if he were to get involved in risky behaviour such as this, then try to be as safe as possible. If he had alot of real life friends that were willing to give it a shot he wouldn't be asking the question on here.