A Predicament.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by quintin, May 4, 2009.

  1. quintin

    quintin New Member

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    So the other night my friend and I hung out and went and got some dinner. We hadn’t hung out in a while, so I was pretty excited to see him. Fast forward to after dinner and we’re getting in his car, about to leave. Basically, he tried to give me a BJ right there in the parking lot! I gently pushed him away telling him we couldn’t do this, its not right, we’re just friends, etc. AND he knows I have a boyfriend so I don’t know what his deal is. He’s told me a few times over the years that he has really strong feelings for me, but he hadn’t brought it up in a while so I thought he was over me? I told him a few months ago I wanted to take his virginity and I wish I’d never told him that. Anyway, I still don’t like to mention my boyfriend around him just in case... I don’t want to hurt his feelings or anything. Needless to say, the entire ride home was pretty awkward and a few minutes after he dropped me off he texted me and said “sorry” and I said “its cool.” Now I don’t know whether or not to just cut him off or not. We’ve been pretty good friends for about 3 years now and he’s really cool when he’s not being stupid. But that was kind of a big deal and I don’t see how we can just act like he didn’t do that..

    Any advice would be cool. Thanks guys!
     
  2. sixlittleboi

    sixlittleboi Member

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    If he's a good enough friend he will respect your relationship. I have a friend that I like, he also has a boyfriend so I would never put him in that position. I like hanging out with him and I don't want to do anything to make things awkward. If he tried it once what's to say he won't do it again? Why put yourself in that position?
     
  3. kv222

    kv222 New Member

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    he might have thought that you telling him that you wanted to take his virginity meant that he should go for it. just make it perfectly clear to him what the situation is and if he carries on like that you cant be buds anymore. also make sure you do not do anything else that could lead him to the wrong impression.

    Once you have done that things should be okay but if he tries something like that again i think you will have to re-consider your friendship.
     
  4. MrToolhung

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    Wow...you got your hands full! You should have never told him that you wanted to take his virginity. That my friend was your mistake. You crossed that line where he probably thinks that sex is fine for just friends. The best thing to do is explain to him that you just want to be friends and that it will not lead to anything else.
     
  5. bigjpgh

    bigjpgh Member

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    you told him things were cool when he appologized, so that is where things stand. If that isnt the case, then the onus is on you to talk to him about it.
     
  6. killerb

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    i can tell you from experience that it's tough to maintain a friendship with someone who wants more from you unless they are able to keep their feelings to themselves...if he can remain cool about it & you really want to stay friends with him, then do so...just don't give mixed messages and let him know very clearly that nothing will ever happen btw you...if he can accept that, great - if he can't, end the friendship.
     
  7. CALAMBO

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    QUINTEN....oh hell man...get over it....just some flirting and fun....dang let the friend blow ya....u opened that gate...let the horse out for fun...if u get it out of the way, maybe things will back to just friends....what the H...is the big deal????
     
  8. quintin

    quintin New Member

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    I've told him a few times we'd never be an "us" (pretty harshly even), and still he goes and does this. I can't just end the friendship, he's helped me with so much stuff in my life. And he's really a cool person, but things are just a little awkward sometimes.
    And CALAMBO, I probably would mess around with him if i was certain he wouldn't become attached afterward.
     
  9. CALAMBO

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    quintn....buddy there are only a few certain things in life....this friend needs someone to break him in...really he is turning to you...look u guys are not getting married...give him the friendship he gave you...the awkwardness may always be there..i bet not.....his time and need will not be...would u rather he get knobbed by a stranger out back of a bar...talk like you are friends...work it out ...or you will never forget this chance nor will he.... right now he is troubled..and i suspect u are also or we would not be writing this....good luck.....friends that were there for you deserve a bit of your time.
     
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