A question about PE for women.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Intrigue, Apr 5, 2011.

  1. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    This being my first post I'm going to attempt to be succinct, tactful, and hopefully not a complete moron. My wonderful wife and I are married now for just under 2 years and together for 4. During our time together she has made me feel extremely manly in the fact that she constantly compliments me on how "good" I feel and how "big" I feel to her. This has helped greatly with my poor self esteem. Esteem I felt was damaged by the harsh words and actions of a previous love. Couple that with the obsessive need to feel adequate shared by most men and it can be a very real burden. I am about to start on a basic PE regimen, after discussing it with her at length and one of my main concerns is that I may gain too much or become "uncomfortable" for her during intercourse. She likes to be on top usually with a vibe for clitoral stimulus while grinding. This is her "spot" as you might say. She is a relatively short lady and even tests have shown her lady bits to be more "compact" than most. My concern is that I might hurt her or make our sex life uncomfortable, yet I am still dealing with my own self esteem issues. I'm about average, not sure about girth but I know I'm just over 6 in length which suits her just fine. My goal of being succinct has failed I see but I'm not sure how to ask or what to ask in entirety. So do any of the wise women who read these forums have any advice? Again I apologize for the length of this post and if I have somehow offended anyone here. I thank you all in advance for your time and your patience in dealing with someone new to this.
     
  2. AlteredEgo

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    You say that your wife's sexual response to you has been good for your self-esteem. How would suddenly being unable to satisfy her sexually impact your self-esteem? If you were able to get to a size which she didn't like as much, would you start to feel worse about yourself?

    While I have no objection to jelqing, I think what you need more is therapy. If your happiness is wrapped up in your dick, you have issues a caring counselor might be equipped to help you with.
     
  3. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    Thank you for your response. We are currently in therapy but for different reasons. Basically my communication skills, verbally that is, stink. That particular issue hasn't cropped up since we started but I'm sure we will be brushing that topic very soon. To explain further we are both getting back into shape, meaning I'm a tad overweight and i believe my "performance" was an issue. For me a big reason besides the length issue was my waning erectile function due in large to depression, clinically treated, and my obesity. Our goal is to strengthen my erection response and duration. But yes, bit by bit I am coming to understand that my length is only an issue to me and is purely mental. Any change in my wifes satisfaction would hurt me more than my current dissatisfaction with my member. Again, thank you for your advice.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

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    I'm glad to be useful. Congratulations on getting back into shape together! You may find that your perception of your penis changes when your tummy is gone. While you mull this over, kegels never hurt anyone, and they can improve your erectile function and sensitivity. You may even slightly increase your girth that way, and I don't know how your wife would feel, but I love the feeling of a man flexing his PC muscles while he's inside me.
     
  5. LaFemme

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    Personally, I'm not a big fan of PE. I agree with AE - focus on weight loss and Kegels. Once you have lost weight, you'll be amazed at how much bigger your penis will feel and look to your and your wife. If your penis feels perfect to her now, I wouldn't try to fix it, just work on your confidence and your self esteem issues. Look at your penis now - have your wife take pictures of it and tell you what she loves about it. Look at it yourself and see it through her eyes. Admire it's unique shape and the sensations you feel and the way you make her feel. Study the way it extends from your body and the way your testicles hang beneath it. It is perfect the way it is.

    I have never met an ugly cock. 6 inches is a great length - great penetration (your wife loves it!) and perfect for oral! Each man's cock is a such a unique part of himself and you should love it. The penis is amazing!

    Anyway, that's just my opinion.
     
  6. Riven650

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    I don't know why you're not a fan of PE LaFemme. Particularly as weight loss and kegels (which you advocate) are part of any sensible PE regimen. I think PE is good therapy for guys (like the OP and myself) who have background self esteem issues. One of the first things PE encourages you to do is to be realistic about your cock size, and that in itself is a good thing. If the OP already has a 6" cock he'll have to come to terms with the fact that it's already about half an inch longer than average. He already knows his wife thinks it's perfect as it is, and we're here to back her up. However, the OP still wants to address his long held doubts about his penile adequacy, and I completely empathise. Luckily, I've never had a weight problem but, like the OP, I also grew up with the idea that my cock was less than impressive. And, also like the OP, mine was around 6" long. Back in the late 1960s, when I was a young teenager, data published in the sex books said that average was about 6.5". Recent studies suggest that a more realistic average is about an inch shorter. I know that doesn't sound like a big thing, but that spurious inch has had an insidious effect on the popular consciousness. Add in the exaggerations of porn salesmanship, and it's not surprising that so many guys, particularly those given to self esteem issues, grow up feeling inadequate.

    I know PE has it's doubters, but never mind - there are still people out there who think the Earth is flat. PE is a self help journey, and if done safely and carefully, it can help you to increase your self confidence and your cock size at the same time.

    To answer the OP's question: Your penis will be bigger during PE. The gains in size are temporary, and the PE trick is to slowly convert the temporary into permanent gains. Kind of like 2 steps forward and one back. Your wife will be giving you feedback as you go, so if/when you reach the point at which she thinks it's getting too much for her, all you need to do is quit PE at that point. You'll lose a little of your temp gains, but you'll be left with the permanent. But I do think you're worrying unnecessarily. Gains are slow, so your wife won't suddenly be confronted with too much. Good luck.
     
  7. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    I can't thank all of you enough for your advice. The funny part is these are points my wife has already brought up. When I discussed this forum response with her she reminded me how she has done many of these things already to boost my self esteem. How I got so lucky I'll never figure out. That being said we are proceeding together rather than me just by myself and worrying about these issues on my own. And I think perhaps I was worrying too much, but that's the sort of doubt and insecurity this issue tends to bring out in men. So again thank all of you for your honest and truly helpful responses. I will update on this anytime I find something worth updating but know that your advice has really helped to set me at ease with all my worries and fears.
     
  8. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    Oh and one side note completely unrelated directed at Riven650. I saw your gallery and omg ouch man. Is that really your modified penis? If so wow. Sorry, just havent seen a body mod like that and it caught me waaaay off guard. Would it be too off topic to ask why? If too personal or inappropriate a question that's ok, just curious.
     
  9. Riven650

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    Not off topic if you don't think so Intrigue. After all it's your thread :rolleyes: Yes, it's my penis. But 'why?' is a huge question, and you kind of answered it by calling it a body mod. In a nutshell, that's it: A body mod. Why?. I saw a pic of a split cock in a (PFIQ) magazine way back in the late '70s and I found it strangely erotic. I've tried to work out why I found it strangely erotic. I also found pictures (in National Geographic and the like) of tribal people with stretched lip and ear piercings strangely erotic. It's all about the interesting possibilities I guess. Anyway, suffice to say, the attraction was sexual. Just like with PE: At the end of the day, it's the journey that's interesting. If anyone else appreciates the effect of your body mods (and in my mind, PE is just another body mod) that's a bonus. The main thing is to have fun with your body, but to take care of it too.
     
  10. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    Thanks for satisfying my curiosity on the matter. I suppose you still feel a great amount of pleasure otherwise you wouldn't have it so. Just had to ask in an attempt to understand the reasons for such a modification. At the end of the day the reasons are yours and only really make sense to you. And that's how it should be I guess! :) Thanks again!
     
  11. LaFemme

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    I'm sorry - in no way did I mean this as a criticism of PE. I was merely offering my own opinion as a woman since the OP asked for a woman's opinion. If my partner wanted to do PE - I would offer the same opinion, but I would support him in whatever he decided to do, unless his penis became more important than the sexual health of our relationship. But as you mentioned, if it became painful for his wife, he could certainly stop. Again, I apologize if it appeared that I was being critical.
     
  12. gunnaknow

    gunnaknow New Member

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    Not everyone makes gains from PE, largely down to lack of consistency, inpatience or poor technique. However, if you do make gains, they'll be very gradual, like 1/4" every two months. As Riven said, it's not as if you're going to suddenly become huge and then find out that you're too big for your wife. She can update you every few months as to whether you're starting to get to big for her or not. If you reach that point, you can then switch to a maintenance routine, to cement the gains.
     
    #12 gunnaknow, Apr 7, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2011
  13. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    I completely agree with your advice. It isn't as if it would explode upward or some crazy notion. But anytime I choose to proceed with something that may affect my love I completely exhaust all sources of info before proceeding. To hurt her in any way because of my carelessness or thoughtlessness would be the last thing I would want. Lessons learned in the past taught me that. I had to mess up a few times to get it right hey.
     
  14. helgaleena

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    She will be having sex with you regularly even as you are doing the PE. She's going to have plenty of time to adjust. Women's openings are flexible to allow for childbirth, remember. Don't invent an issue that doesn't have to exist. It's not as if you are going to be introducing your dimensions to a stranger.
     
  15. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    Your right. I'm just a bit or a worry wort is all.
    :)
     
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