a Question for Genuine Straight Men?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Island Club Guy CT, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. Island Club Guy CT

    Island Club Guy CT New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    63
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South Africa
    I recently told my straight mates that I am gay thinking that nothing would change. I am no longer being invited to any get togethers , I met one of my mates in the gym locker yesterday and when I greeted him , he covered up , much to my horror. My question is :

    Why are straight men scared to be friends with Gay men?

    I also love sport , gym , cars like most men do , What all of us do in the bedroom is private , so what's the problem , cause now I am all alone.:confused:
     
  2. D_Chesty_Pecjiggle

    D_Chesty_Pecjiggle Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2007
    Messages:
    626
    Likes Received:
    5
    Im really sorry to hear that. A friend of ours came out a few years back and so far as I can tell, nothing changed.

    He still does all the same things with us, and gets invited everywhere. Sorry to hear your friends aren't as welcoming. Hopefully it'll change and they'll come around.
     
  3. houtx48

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,095
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    lol like there are any of those here........
     
  4. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,104
    Likes Received:
    33
    To be honest, those can't be real friends...
    I must admit it is weird sometimes to do things with a gay guy because of the fact guys can share a lot with each other. And if someone then suddenly admits he is gay, you remind how close you were with some things and that messes up your mind.
    I sometimes don't feel comfterable with gay men but can't explain why. But I always forget that and act normal.
     
  5. houtx48

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,095
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    100% straight my die'n ass
     
  6. jeff926

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    6
    I'm not scared to get along with gay men, however,
    I'm scared that I'm gonna be a gay man.
     
  7. Pendlum

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    2,151
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    I agree with pieter. And also they may not want to be labeled gay by hanging out with you (if they are insecure). Or they somehow feel that they don't know you as well anymore, and question your intentions about hanging out with them. A lot of straight guys assume all gay guys are out to convert straight men. And they could be afraid of that.

    I say keep trying, or confront them. Call them up and ask "Why are you guys acting differently now that you know I'm gay?" or something to that extent.
     
  8. vergax

    vergax Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In many places, depending on schedule
    2 of my best childhood friends i recently got in touch again in Facebook told me straight away they are gay, one of them acted like a girl (mannerisms) all thru childhood, so no surprise there but the other it was quite a surprise.

    Well, the thing is nothing in my feelings of friendship has changed and I am sure real friends won't dismiss you as a friend just because you come out as being gay now.
    Same experience happened with another friend in recent years, in his case, we were in touch everyday in school, but same treatment (cero change).

    I don't have many gay friends nor am I in circles where gay men abound (that i know) but just a proof not all straight react like your so-called friends.
     
  9. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,912
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
    Well, that's honest.
     
  10. Island Club Guy CT

    Island Club Guy CT New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    63
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South Africa
    Thanks Guys , I will try calling them up , i just did not expect them to react like that , i honestly felt it was time to come out and they would be supportive. This was not a easy choice but i hated being fake and now i am regretting cumming out. Will Keep you guys posted with my progress. Wish me luck
     
  11. size_is_relative

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2008
    Messages:
    61
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    Verified:
    Photo
    I don't care if someone is gay or not. I will say though, I find effeminate men to be annoying. Doesn't matter if you're gay or not, I just find "fruitiness" annoying, so if you were like that, chances are you wouldn't be my friend in the first place.

    That said, I've always imagined that being friends with a gay guy is like a woman being friends with a man. Sure maybe someone is checking out your ass when you bend over, but chances are they aren't...and even if they are, if they're not obnoxious about it, who cares. Now if you go grabbing my ass when I'm clearly not interested you've crossed a line, but there's no reason to think a gay guy is more likely to grab my ass without my permission than I would a womans ass
     
  12. hoggindaz

    hoggindaz New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2008
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    maybe theyre afraid of catching teh ghey? lol, just joking

    maybe they arent completely secure in there own sexuality, i have no problem with gay people, more pussy for me lol.
     
  13. D_smack ash

    D_smack ash Account Disabled

    Joined:
    May 26, 2007
    Messages:
    648
    Likes Received:
    1
    I am str8 and friends with gay guys and women. there just like me except they like the same sex. big deal. to each his own. whats next, omg he or she picks his nose i cant be friends with him. its the 21st century, we have a black president and this running down gay people in this country is getting old in my eyes. you know what would be cool and shock all the idiots out there. a gay president. i would vote for him. if he could do the job more power to him or her.
     
  14. Beachboy19

    Beachboy19 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    210
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NS, Canada
    Meh, u really care? Maybe u should find better friends?
     
  15. Capitolhillguy

    Capitolhillguy Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2007
    Messages:
    645
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    It is a shame you aren't living in Seattle as straight guys don't give a rat's ass about such things out here unless you get out to the burbs or are talking about some minority groups.
     
  16. buck_naked

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Messages:
    162
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    807
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco (CA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    i was born in san francisco and raised about 40 miles south of there and i never had any problem with being around homosexuals. i moved up to oregon for school and everyone seems to be terrified of them, as if they are going to try to rape them or something. its pretty ridiculous. i think a lot of them would be surprised if they asked a gay man if they found them attractive. i mean as a straight guy i dont think every girl is attractive and i can certainly control myself around ones that i do find attractive
     
  17. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    0
    had a friend come out bi
    was a bit different...but he was still treated basically the same.
     
  18. Smartalk

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    1,730
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    8 miles outside of Manchester
    One thing I will say is that there attitude is their loss, sounds to me that they have rejected the friendship of a honest level headed guy, who is not afraid to be who he truely is. By being up front and truthfull, as you would expect any genuine and loyal friend to be, you have brought to their attention their own weaknesses, insecurities and immaturity. Almost as though you have held a full lenghth mirror in front of them allowing them to see who they truely are.

    Its at times like these brother you realise who your true friends really are. I for one would be proud to have you as my friend. I know I would always get the true Good luck
     
    #18 Smartalk, Mar 15, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2009
  19. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    because they steal all the hot chicks.
     
  20. B_WER25

    B_WER25 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Estados
    I have no problems being friends with gay guys. Your friends weren't very good friends to start with. I'm sorry to hear that. I've lost friends for stupid reason like that. I lost my best friend ever when she found out who my brother was. It was a long, ugly story so I won't elaborate on it but I know how you feel.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted