a Question for Genuine Straight Men?

[BlackIsKingSize]

It may not be a homophobia thing. Sometimes a straight guy can feel uncomfortable when a close friend comes out not because he's gay but because of finding out he didn't know his friend as well as he thought he did. He might feel like the friend has been dishonest keeping this big secret all along. It can make them question the whole friendship.

 

[rugbyguy14]

I recently told my straight mates that I am gay thinking that nothing would change. I am no longer being invited to any get togethers , I met one of my mates in the gym locker yesterday and when I greeted him , he covered up , much to my horror. My question is :

Why are straight men scared to be friends with Gay men?

I also love sport , gym , cars like most men do , What all of us do in the bedroom is private , so what's the problem , cause now I am all alone.

they might feel like you werent totally honest with them and might be wondering what else you havent been totally truthful about. how long have you known for?,they may also think you'd rather associate with others from the gay community rather than hang around with straight people and go to straight clubs

 

[Silvertip]

Historically our "Christian" society has put such a stigma on homosexual acts that it is understandable that some friends might react that way. But it is also very understandable why some gay and bisexual guys will start out, or even stay, in the closet. So I think your friends should have been more open-minded about your coming out to them, but everyone has to deal with their own demons in their own way. In any event there are plenty of good people out there who will accept you as who you are, so if your friends don't come around just find some others who will be comfortable with you.

I'm not scared to get along with gay men, however,
I'm scared that I'm gonna be a gay man.

Don't be scared, it could be a lot of fun!

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

str8 men suck!!!

 

[Orcen222]

str8 men suck!!!

aww :frown1:

 

[D_Kissimmee Coldsore]

str8 men suck!!!

I don't care what they say, if they suck I doubt they're straight.

 

[D_Onerimus Bugelhole]

I'm not really a gay guy but i am very gay friendly. I catch enough stupid bullshit from people just thinking i am gay. I could care less about what people think of me though, i'd rather just leave the hateful people to live their lives in sadness without me

 

[mucotevoli]

ill be friends with anyone as long as they dont act like a jackass

 

[Torque8]

str8 men suck!!!

No. You just wish they all did.

 

[Gnashin Teefe]

my experience: when choosing friends, people tend to gravitate to those who are like themselves. when they learned of your gay orientation, perhaps they just felt like they had less in common with you than they previously assumed.

 

[musclemonkey5]

Why are straight men scared to be friends with Gay men?

Depending on the straight guy, here is the answers:
1. straight type 1: Is homophobic and a gay hater. Prejudiced
2. straight type 2: Is religious and thinks that being gay is unhealthy and a sexual addiction, and does not want to hang with people he thinks are unhealthy.
3. straight type 3: Is also interested in men and is therefore afraid of gay people, especially being naked around them.
4. straight type 4: Isn't religious but still doesn't really think gay people are completely right and doesn't feel comfortable around someone who has chosen that lifestyle.

This coming from somebody who does not have a problem with gay people, but does not agree with the 'majority' scientific community that gay people are born. I believe it is a lifestyle choice, and is an unhealthy thing to have in your life. However, I wouldn't stop being a friend with someone just because they told me they are gay. You might want to examine you're actions and stuff and see if there is some reason why these guys don't want to hang with you. Perhaps you are trying to be TOO open about it, and they would be fine if you were gay but didn't try to flaunt it or draw unecessary attention to it for no reason.
As others on here have said, they came out and their str8 friends had no problem with it, so maybe it is something you are doing, aside from what you do in the bedroom.

 

[deleted356736]

I have known gay men and I have worked with many, but I still feel uncomfortable around them. Part of it is that I find the men not particularly attractive, myself included, especially compared to the female, and the thought of two men naked together is a real turn-off. The other side of women I adore, more than the physical attraction, is the feminine personality and mystique. Again I find the thought of a masculine-masculine relationship a turn-off. For those of us who are wholly straight, which is the majority of men, we understand women very, very well. If we didn't, our relationships would never last.

I look on a relationship of masculine and feminine as being a perfect whole made up of two imperfect halves.

I am not prejudiced and I have gotten on verywell with some gay men, but despite this, I feel uncomfortable around gay men.

 

[Torque8]

Being straight myself, I have to agree with musclemonkey5, the one thing that really turns me off is when my gay friends try to flaunt or draw unnessary attention to their sexual preference. Of my friends that are gay, we get along fine as long as sex doesn't enter the picture.

 

[splitface]

I'm not scared to get along with gay men, however,
I'm scared that I'm gonna be a gay man.

I'll say it again: you cannot 'catch' homosexuality. I don't know if this is what you were implying, but I very much hope not.

 

[Wish-4-8]

Basic human fear: The fear of the unknown.
They dont understand it so every sterotype and insecurity comes out.
They have to be educated on what it means to be gay, and what it doesnt mean.

Good luck and I hope they are more understanding. But see it from their point of view. They did not see it coming and they are probably still getting over the shock.
It would be one thing if you had "feminie" qualities and they suspected all along, but you basically shocked them and they are dealing with it.

I hope they really are true freinds and come around.

 

[Beachboy19]

Why are straight men scared to be friends with Gay men?

Depending on the straight guy, here is the answers:
1. straight type 1: Is homophobic and a gay hater. Prejudiced
2. straight type 2: Is religious and thinks that being gay is unhealthy and a sexual addiction, and does not want to hang with people he thinks are unhealthy.
3. straight type 3: Is also interested in men and is therefore afraid of gay people, especially being naked around them.
4. straight type 4: Isn't religious but still doesn't really think gay people are completely right and doesn't feel comfortable around someone who has chosen that lifestyle.

This coming from somebody who does not have a problem with gay people, but does not agree with the 'majority' scientific community that gay people are born. I believe it is a lifestyle choice, and is an unhealthy thing to have in your life. However, I wouldn't stop being a friend with someone just because they told me they are gay. You might want to examine you're actions and stuff and see if there is some reason why these guys don't want to hang with you. Perhaps you are trying to be TOO open about it, and they would be fine if you were gay but didn't try to flaunt it or draw unecessary attention to it for no reason.
As others on here have said, they came out and their str8 friends had no problem with it, so maybe it is something you are doing, aside from what you do in the bedroom.

Island Club Guy CT, heres a great example of someone you should be avoiding.

Good friends is a really gr8 thing to have in life. Consider your coming out an opportunity to find whos a good friend and who isnt.

 

[D_Mylor Mentallydaft]

I recently told my straight mates that I am gay thinking that nothing would change. I am no longer being invited to any get togethers , I met one of my mates in the gym locker yesterday and when I greeted him , he covered up , much to my horror. My question is :

Why are straight men scared to be friends with Gay men?

I also love sport , gym , cars like most men do , What all of us do in the bedroom is private , so what's the problem , cause now I am all alone.

give em time man, you've known you were queer for a while, its a shock to them, its wierd to find out the cat you would hang out with at the gym or at the car show and talk about what kinda blow jobs you always dreamed of was talking about a fella......

don't let the look fool you, forget about the tattoos and hotrod clothes, i am not what you think. my first memory in life is of a gay man, and my closest friend in the world is gay, so i'm not a new hand at this, and as for the group,i'll be honest with you man.....stuff is never gonna be EXACTLY the same, but like every one pointed out, if they're your real mates they'll come around......

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I'm not exactly sure what a "genuine straight man" is. Is that in contrast to men who are not genuinely straight? And what does that mean? It's basically cool for younger peeps to be more gender-ambiguous so I'd have to say that where I live I'm not sure I could find a "genuine" anything.

 

[musclemonkey5]

Island Club Guy CT, heres a great example of someone you should be avoiding.

Good friends is a really gr8 thing to have in life. Consider your coming out an opportunity to find whos a good friend and who isnt.

Hater much?

 

[Torque8]

Should have perhaps given a few more details above. As a str8 guy, I've had 2 different workout buddies my age come out to me within the last 5 years. Knew one of them from H.S. and the other I met at the gym. The two are as different as night and day. The one that I'd known since H.S. progressed to the point that I didn't want him near me as I take my workouts rather seriously. His mannerisms and comments progressed to the point where they were more than annoying. As a case in point, I'd be spotting him and he'd make comments about my crotch, sweaty shorts or something else. Just being around him I had this uneasy feeling that he wanted to get in my pants if I'd let my guard down. It really got to the point where I was embarassed to be around him in front of other guys that I see everyday. I did my best to talk to him about his actions to no avail. Okay, call me a lousy friend, but there simply wasn't any compromising on his part.

The other bud, I met at the gym. He's as straight-acting and definitely as macho as most of the other guys that I know at the gym. He fessed up to me about 7 months ago after we met up at a local sports bar and spent a few hours drinking and watching football. Knowing that I'm str8, but not really biased, he asked if we could still be friends, workout together and sometimes just hang...nothing sexual...just pals. We continue to workout together 2 or 3 times a week, think nothing of undressing/showering (separate stalls)/dressing in front of each other in the lockerroom. I really respect the guy and primarily his being honest with me.