A Question for the gay or bi guys

[13788]

The_Swinging_Voter: When it comes to having sex with other guys Ive found that a lot of them seem to expect me to top purely because of my size. Although I dont mind that occassionally I much, much prefer to bottom. When Im with women I sincerely love being the more active partner but when it comes to male-male sex I enjoy nothing more than being fucked. This seems to confuse a lot of guys who assume that I'll only be interested in doing the fucking.

Do other well-hung guys here find that they run into a similar kind of situation or do you only have an interest in topping?
Do the more averagely hung guys here find that they have a similar expectation -that a hung guy will only be a top?

Just wondered whether it was only me or was it one of the many little quirks that seem to exist in the gay and bi world.

 

[txquis]

It's not just you.
I think many well hung guys are expected to top. So are masculine acting gay guys. I think people deal so much in stereotypes, that is bound to happen.
You have to be in the role that makes you comfortable and turned on,
rather than what you think is expected.

I spent an entire relationship as a top....
I spent an entire relationship "flipflopping"...i enjoyed that a lot more,
and now i'm more vocal about wanting to switch off.

 

[alpinepaul]

in his biography a gay author from germany mentions his experiences as "the bigger the bottomer". and he claims to have a lot of encounters.

 

[13788]

The_Swinging_Voter: txquis, good to know its not just me. Guess I'm doubly fated by being very masculine/straight acting. Do you think it might have anything to do with, despite me being bi, being most attracted to purely gay guys?

Sorry to hear you had that entire time going against the grain, as it were. Personally Id feel very disappointed and quite unfulfilled if I had to go for an entire sex session without the chance to bottom. Hell, I didn't spend so much time at the gym working on my glutes (see my gallery lol) just for fun While I dont mind a guy getting turned on by my cock I'd much rather he was thinking 'mmm, wouldnt mind flipping him over and going to town' lol.

Also wonder if my size is the reason why ive never been with a hung guy. Im no size queen but would certainly like the experience. Very curious about that one!

 

[hungthick]

i believe that in most male to male sex the majority of the time the guy that tops is the guy with the bigger cock.

also, once a dude's cock passes (let's say) 10 inches then his chances of topping diminishes greatly with each inch he is packing.

in COMMITTED relationships i believe maturity dictates that both be versatile.

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

Great topic Andrew! Nice pics as well. I can totally relate to your situation. I consider myself very versatile. It's weird though because some guys want me to top because I am big and others don't for the same reason. I personally really enjoy being a bottom especially if the top knows what he is doing. However, I have been known on more than one occasion to stop the top in mid thrust and pull him out and roll him over and show him how to really do it well. I also find bottoming to be a lot more intimate as well. For some reason my psyche sees that being physically inside me is like being emotionally inside me. I guess there is a bit of a spiritual connection as well (if that makes sense).

 

[rsny845]

Despite all the "big" guys on LPSG, big cocks are quite rare. When I find one, I'm much more inclined to bottom, just for the rarity of the event, though I definitely like to share topping.

 

[13788]

dv8edthots: I've had very similar experiences to jeepwranglerboi. Most guys either want to top me because I'm big or the opposite for the same reason. Although, I do enjoy converting tops from time to time, especially when they're on an ego trip. Machismo and attitude do not fit well with me.

I think it diminshes pleasure when I'm with someone and they tell me oh, I'm just a top or a bottom. I'm completely versatile, and I think most people should be. You miss out on a lot of fun otherwise. I've never met a cock I didn't like, so why not have it inside me and as a a top I'm attentive because I think it's irresponsible of well endowed men just to try to get in and get off. The guys on here are the only ones I've ever heard talk about concern for their partners, and that's one of the reasons I joined this great site... because my experience with other hung guys has been they're on such an ego trip and so obsessed with their own dick that they can't see past it. They usually just get rejected by me because I just say I don't need you. Sorry, for the brief rant there at the end.

Hope this helped, AndrewD

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

Originally posted by dv8edthots@Jan 28 2005, 06:33 PM
I've had very similar experiences to jeepwranglerboi. Most guys either want to top me because I'm big or the opposite for the same reason. Although, I do enjoy converting tops from time to time, especially when they're on an ego trip. Machismo and attitude do not fit well with me.

I think it diminshes pleasure when I'm with someone and they tell me oh, I'm just a top or a bottom. I'm completely versatile, and I think most people should be. You miss out on a lot of fun otherwise. I've never met a cock I didn't like, so why not have it inside me and as a a top I'm attentive because I think it's irresponsible of well endowed men just to try to get in and get off. The guys on here are the only ones I've ever heard talk about concern for their partners, and that's one of the reasons I joined this great site... because my experience with other hung guys has been they're on such an ego trip and so obsessed with their own dick that they can't see past it. They usually just get rejected by me because I just say I don't need you. Sorry, for the brief rant there at the end.

Hope this helped, AndrewD

[post=278254]Quoted post[/post]​

That was a great rant! Don't apologize bro.

 

[13788]

dv8edthots: Thanks, dude. Love the quote from Trick, by the way.

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

Originally posted by dv8edthots@Jan 28 2005, 08:07 PM
Thanks, dude. Love the quote from Trick, by the way.

[post=278288]Quoted post[/post]​

Tee-Hee! I love that movie!

 

[txquis]

loved what jeep said about "being inside me" being like "emotionally" as well.
I agree with this, and relate to it totally.
I have mostly bottomed in relationships, or when i know the person well...
and if it is a hookup, i'm always the top.....
but i never really thought about why that is until now.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

I can totally relate to Kyle and Jeff's experience. I hooked up with a really sweet guy once. We had known eachother socially for a while and had a great date one night. When it came time for him to come over and get busy, I discovered he was well hung and we were both after the same thing -- to bottom. We flip-flopped for a really awesome encounter and afterwards kibbitzed about how we always end up on top. It's such a porn thing really: the biggest dick in the couple or the group always is the poker.

By the way, great haircut Jeff. Perfect look for a well-endowed bottom.

 

[13788]

cegro27: Extremely hung men "are" rare outside of this forum, and out of the ones you find in public at least half are complete asses. That doesn't leave many guys left. So it's natural to want them to top while there's one in your midst. The first thing I hear when I'm with a guy is "do you top at all?" The thought of topping actually turns me off in a hot second. I immediately loose my erection. I've tried it twice and hated it both times, not because the guy wasn't a turn on, or because the mood wasn't right, it's just my mental perception relates topping with domination, and I love to be the submissive partner. Playing that role comes naturally and I feel 1000 times more sexually aroused and excited (not to mention "receptive").


I'm a complete bottom, 100%. For this reason I'm only suited to be with a complete top. When a versatile guy wants to hook up with me, I immediately make it known that I'm a total bottom, and then they can decide whether they're still interested or not , which they still always are .

Question----Another thing I've encountered is that some guys believe that being a top means not having their ass played with, and that this is something that's only performed on bottoms. For that reason they label themselves as versatile or versatile tops if they do like assplay. One top guy even told me that he doesn't like having his ass played with because it's makes him seem like a bottom. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[dickbulge]

Thanks Andrew D. for starting this thread. Its a subject I've thought about often since I enjoy both top and bottom roles. I guess I'm versatile, but when I hook up up its like assumed I'm going to top because I've got the bigger dick. Maybe I'Ve trained myself to pick up guys who I know will bottom. (are you staring at my crotch boy?)I suppose it doesn't hurt I'm fairly aggressive and masculine, and I got that daddy thing going and I really get off on giving my lover a good ride. I should be flattered but sometimes I want to flip.

As for when I do bottom I haven't found big dicked guys are on ego trips though maybe I'm not too good a judge of that; but they do tend to be more aggressive about setting the pace of the session. When a guy who wants to top is not a very good lover, or giving mixed signals about what he wants, I don't hesitate to put him on his back and show him how its done. Can lead to some interesting wrestling matches. But most guys I meet are into the pleasure of the moment and not hung up about topping.

Porn on the net has shown me some of the butchest looking, well hung men are great bottoms. As I get older and less concerned about my reputation I am swithching more often and letting the submissive part of my nature show. I'm a happier person for it. If I am ever in a relationship again I want completely versatile lover.

 

[wristthickxl]

I can't agree more with some of the participants here....

One thing that hasn't come up is the role of gay porno in all of this: I've noticed that, in the movies, the guy with the really big cock almost always tops...

I think a lot of gay men are taking their cues from that (as conventional films almost never deal with gay sexuality)..

My experience too is that men almost always assume I'm a top....but given my size, there is a range of reactions....Occasionally, guys beg to get it...I'd have to say the majority don't want me to top them because they say I'm too big...and then some guys want to top me...

One guy in particular, who as average hung, was in seventh heaven topping me, saying afterwards "it's always been my dream to fuck a really huge hung guy."...he was totally turned on, which of course made me totally turned on..

One other experience along these lines: I was in a sauna in Cologne once and met an American black guy who was very well hung...I was hoping we would flip-flop (I don't think there is any better kind of sex than two xl's taking turns fucking each other)...anyway, I was hoping that was going to happen but he said, apologizing at the time, oh, please, just fuck me....I want to be the pure bottom for once with another xl guy...

oh, one other experience that was hot too: an extraordinarily well hung guy from gaydar in New York and I had great sex one evening,....he topped me in his bathroom (for starters)....He did me standing, with one leg of mine on the ground, the other on the closed toilet side...the entire time he was inside me, he reached around to play with my hard dick and said "God, I love fucking you...it's great to having something so big to hold on to while fucking someone."

Those are a few of my hot memories in relation to this topic...

 

[heavynuttz]

I am still somewhat perplexed when I come across a really superhung stud that wants me to TOP him, it really is a turn-off for me personally. I would much rather be on the receiving end with a nicely hung guy than top one. Just a personal preference. Which makes me wonder, How many SUPERHUNG gay or bi guys that bottom prefer a guy their size or bigger?

 

[wristthickxl]

I have to admit I only like to get topped by guys who are bigger than I am....(with one or two exceptions)

 

[txquis]

I'm just glad that there are people who dont buy into sterotypes or I would never get laid. LOL

I like being a top, even though i'm just average size...
I dont automatically want to be a bottom all the time just *because* i'm average size.
I'm not submissive at all, or passive at all, just because i sometimes enjoy the bottom...
And my looks are in the average range, my body is average, and i'm *over* 35.

WOW.
If i dealt with the porn stereotype, i'd just stay home the rest of my life.
And i dont intend to. B)

 

[13788]

The_Swinging_Voter: Sounds like this thread has opened up a whole can of worms. Glad to see it has.

I do agree with wristthickxl who mentions the role of gay porn in setting stereotypes. Cant think how many times Ive seen one with a hung masculine, dominant top and a stereotypically feminine and passive bottom. Its like thats the only option open to gay or bi men. Personally Id rather watch porn where there seemed more equal. By that I mean, two averagely hung guys or two larger guys so that the whole dom/sub stereotypes can be passed over for a change. Anyone remember the 'Lucas' movies -very nice let me tell you

I also think Ive run across a number of guys who really wanted to play with my cock or blow me but because of my size didnt want to bottom. Most of them have gotten a shock when I said that Id prefer the alternative lol. Never found that their size mattered greatly to me although I will admit that not every cock Ive seen Ive wanted in me. No-one has been big but theyve all had a nice 'symmetry' to them lol

Yes, really big guys are quite rare although it just depends on your definition. As I havent had anyone bigger than 7 inches (and only one that might have qualified as that length) I would consider 7.5-8 inches to be big. So I think that means Im far more likely to find a few that fit the bill.

Now, getting them to top me is a different matter. Anyone noticed different sensations when taking someone in that large category?