A question for the straight gentlemen!

[paigexox]

My brainfart known as this thread was spawned by the common view of the penis as the principle pleasure instrument for sex, and as a result, men thinking it's the sole measure of their virility. Stemming from this is the idea that more is better in every way possible: more length, girth, cum, firmer erection, more pronounced veins, bigger glans with a ridge, more curve... it just endlessly drags on and on. Truly ridiculous is this mindset very often apparent here -- just recall how many posts you've seen about a guy who could pound forever, cum endlessly, was too much for the virginal maiden with the whore within and all that other BS sheltering some underlying insecurity.

Instead, I think men should stop and deflect a bit of that burden to women. The act of sex is an event that expressly takes two to tango, and men should not feel as though things are so biased against them on any front of a relationship. The crux of the entire problem boils down to a social stigma forged in a very different epoch.

On a coital front, yes there is a thing as TOO much, there is no one perfect size for all situations, you don't need a big dick (or pretend you have one), cum like a fire hose, or fuck for hours, and I think most guys know this, but the insidious mindset is pervasive as ever -- certainly even worse in the forums of the internet.

Yes, some women desire those glorified adjectives when it comes to lovers, but that is not the burden of men to bear. That is a conscious decision of an individual, and as such, it's their job to pursue the goal to fulfillment, not your own.



And I am stopping here because I feel like I am building Hardian's wall all over again. If there are grammatical errors or spelling mistakes and you want to be a Nazi, be my guest, but I am wee bit intoxicated, so fuck you in advance. :smile:

 

[TheRob]

um I beleive I made a marrige proposal you seem to have ignored...

 

[redbear52]

My brainfart known as this thread was spawned by the common view of the penis as the principle pleasure instrument for sex, and as a result, men thinking it's the sole measure of their virility. Stemming from this is the idea that more is better in every way possible: more length, girth, cum, firmer erection, more pronounced veins, bigger glans with a ridge, more curve... it just endlessly drags on and on. Truly ridiculous is this mindset very often apparent here -- just recall how many posts you've seen about a guy who could pound forever, cum endlessly, was too much for the virginal maiden with the whore within and all that other BS sheltering some underlying insecurity.

Instead, I think men should stop and deflect a bit of that burden to women. The act of sex is an event that expressly takes two to tango, and men should not feel as though things are so biased against them on any front of a relationship. The crux of the entire problem boils down to a social stigma forged in a very different epoch.

On a coital front, yes there is a thing as TOO much, there is no one perfect size for all situations, you don't need a big dick (or pretend you have one), cum like a fire hose, or fuck for hours, and I think most guys know this, but the insidious mindset is pervasive as ever -- certainly even worse in the forums of the internet.

Yes, some women desire those glorified adjectives when it comes to lovers, but that is not the burden of men to bear. That is a conscious decision of an individual, and as such, it's their job to pursue the goal to fulfillment, not your own.



And I am stopping here because I feel like I am building Hardian's wall all over again. If there are grammatical errors or spelling mistakes and you want to be a Nazi, be my guest, but I am wee bit intoxicated, so fuck you in advance. :smile:

Having given the matter some thought over the years, in my humble experience what women want most is a guy who makes them feel sexy and attractive in bed. If the guy makes them feel desirable, then he will be sexy and attractive to them.

Of course, the kicker is that a guy can't "make" a woman feel sexy and attractive if she fundamentally feels she is not, no matter what he does.

As for virility, it is again only my experience, but I do not believe that the average woman wants to be pounded for an hour or more, at least not on a regular basis. And although I have been with women who were multi-orgasmic, the majority where in fact the "one and done" variety, and they were absolutely content with that.

As for penis size, I think that many women do find a large cock rather fascinating at least at the first encounter. But I also feel that in a relationship that lasts for any length of time the man's equipment fairly quickly becomes normal rather than extraordinary in the woman's eyes. And while having sex with a well-endowed guy does seem to be exciting initially to a good many women, when sex becomes a regular event having intercourse with a really well-endowed guy just entails too much of a "production" at times.

But the penis, being visible, does become a convenient target for some women for whom sex with a man is not satisfying for what ever reason. If it is not large, it is easy to blame the guy's lack of endowment. If he is rather well-endowed, then it is easy to say he is an arrogant prick who doesn't know how to use it.

And I have read a number of accounts from anorgasmic women who have never even been able to give themselves an orgasm, who seem to expect some guy to come up with a magic formula for climax. I have found it much less common for a guy to blame a woman for his inability to orgasm (and there are some men who have this problem).

 

[curious_angel]

Interesting thread Paigexox.

Wow, I'm surprised that so many people think giving pleasure is a "burden" for guys. This seems at odds with many other posts on the Board. I agree there's pressure for a guy to perform, but a burden?

Witnessing the LPSG members' willingness and openess to learn and share information in the pursuit of heightening their partners' sexual pleasure (and in turn their own) has impressed me since I first joined almost a year ago. This dedication to pleasure is a big factor in my LPSG enjoyment. OK, that, the fabulously diverse membership and the abundant pee pee photos.

I can see that this perceived burden is perpetuated by the seemingly substantial number of women falsely believing that their partner is responsible for "giving" them an orgasm.

....I always find it striking how so many males end up in an unfortunate situation where they always felt the onus was on them. Often I have found this even made things unnecessarily awkward as it made power flux in the bedroom a bit... weird.

I believe the responsibility for sex should be equally shared but not all guys are comfortable with this. Personally I've found the power issue can be destructive as some guys are uncomfortable in sharing the responsibility and therefore power and control. I love a strong, confident guy but I want one that is also happy to let me take control -- be my personal sex toy :wink: -- when the mood takes me.
Paige, is this similar to what you mean by the power flux being "weird"?

The responsibility does feel like it lies with the man. The power, on the other hand, should be shared equally. I like a woman who can express her sexual needs, but I know I can be a little disarmed if a woman comes at me with an agenda of her own. I need a bit of time in order to get my head around, or get control, of what it is she fancies. So I think, when it comes down to it, I prefer to be in control even if in some of my fantasies I might be in a passive role.....

That's very honest of you to admit to being a little disarmed. Lucky Mrs Riven.

Sexual liberation is driven by the mind. Both sexes carry cultural baggage that inhibits their ability to express themselves sexually. A good lover of either sex will unleash the potential....

Unleash the potential! Perfectly put Drifterwood.

Well, you girls are a lot more complicated! I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that you could pretty much apply the exact same basic stimulation to the world's male population and 99% of them would have an orgasm and end up satisfied. I don't think that's remotely true for women.

Now, maybe it's just me, but I kinda like it like that. There is nothing more arousing than pushing the right buttons and getting a response during sex. Turns me on more than anything.

I'm so glad there are guys like you that are so focussed on helping us ladies find those buttons.

......
All of us men have fragile egos and many of us find it difficult to accept that our female partners were at least as sexually voracious prior to meeting ourselves. I think that tacitly most woman understand this and allow, certainly in the developing stages of a relationship, the male to direct operations, so to speak.

I agree that this is likely to be an approach for a lot of women. So guys if you don't have such a fragile ego, encourage your partner to take a more active role.

........My brainfart known as this thread was spawned by the common view of the penis as the principle pleasure instrument for sex, and as a result, men thinking it's the sole measure of their virility........

Heresy! Have you lost your mind? Surely we are all here to worship at the altar of Dick.:tongue:

 

[Flyingwood]

Paigexox

I think you are totally correct in you thinking.
As a teen and 20 something, I thought sex was all about penis in her and shooting cum. Wasn't til I read "How to make love to a woman" and worked on a psych-counciling degree that I figured out our man/wife relationship. And boy did like change after that.
Best idea I've found is that men give love to get sex. Women give sex to get love.
So for both men and women, switch your thinking to the opposite sex point of view, and work from there. There is a lot to loving and sex besides "dick in pussy".
I learned that the more playing and foreplay we did to each other, the hotter and better sex was and also our married relationship.
Took me a few months but we figured out our "way to turn each other on" routine that either could start and even if the other person wasn't really ready. They were ready in a few minutes and we were on the same wavelength and that has been the hottest love and sex we have.

Ok so much for my long windedness. y'all tc.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Case and point can be seen very clearly on this site. I fully understand what the acronym LPSG stands for, but in many cases there is very little help taking place for people encountering "endowed issues," and many more subjects that seem to be loathing in size race of fucking superiority to satisfy the opposite gender "better."

I found this site while researching why my wife was experiencing painful sex. Unfortunately I found that most people on this site think it's impossible to hurt a woman with your penis, which can never be too big.

 

[paigexox]

Damn. I need a time machine and a bottle of booze ASAP. This is a most pleasant necro-thread revival.

 

[Silvertip]

In my own experience it has varied too greatly from one individual to another to allow any generalizations. I've always seen the "responsibility", in regard to all intimate acts, to be a shared one between both parties involved. The exact balance that works best for the couple is not hard to figure out or achieve, assuming both parties approach the issue unselfishly.