A red tie with gray stripes appropriate at a funeral?

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by Hoss, May 27, 2011.

  1. Hoss

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    My neighbor had a wife who died mysteriously Tuesday morning and there's to be a funeral Monday a.m. I have my suit ready and my funeral shirt (lovely shade of cornflower blue). They loved the color red same as I do, and I was wondering if it would be wrong to wear my red tie with gray stripes to the service (mostly red with narrow gray stripes running left down to the right).

    Most times I have a simple black tie with gold fleur de lis for these things but she wasn't fond of gold so I'd feel strange with that tie.
     
  2. inwait8

    inwait8 Active Member

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    That sounds like it might be a little flashy for the occasion. Does he seem like the kinda guy to notice (though I am sure his attention will be else where). Or is this about other people that will be there?
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    I was raised that red was inappropriate for funerals or weddings. I would choose something else. My condolences.
    Funeral Dress Etiquette
     
    #3 nudeyorker, May 27, 2011
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  4. ColonialBoy

    ColonialBoy Member

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    I would wear a black or brown tie.
     
    #4 ColonialBoy, May 27, 2011
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  5. tgirlsrgreat

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    i would have said just fine, but will bow to the others, something in the blue, black is probably more fitting

    sorry for your loss
     
  6. Somebody2Love

    Somebody2Love New Member

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    How bright is the red? If a subdued shade, yes. If a bright shade, no. But, your neighbor's wife liked red. Thank about what she would of liked and be the judge. :)

    PS. My sympathies to the family.
     
  7. Charles Finn

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    times have changed people
    if she liked red then by all means wear it
     
  8. xmarksbreakdownx

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    I would have to say darker also. I normaly wear black and grey to funerals, might as well fit the theme so to speak.
     
  9. BBB2.5

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    The way I see it..if you are a guy that always wears brighter colors, and this lady knew this was who you were. The you must wear your red stripe tie...it's who you are and she would want that.
     
  10. yhtang

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    I would not wear red at a funeral even though it is red with grey stripes.

    You mentioned your neighbour's wife died mysteriously - perhaps under these circumstances red should be avoided in case on lookers think you have a part in the death!
     
  11. D_Cock_Hudson

    D_Cock_Hudson New Member

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    I'd wear a black tie.
     
  12. Hoss

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    He smokes a lot of funny stuff he probably wouldn't notice. I'm attending because of her mainly, she was very sweet and will be missed. I don't dress for other funeral attenders I dress with the dead person in mind.

    Thanks for that link nudeyorker and the advice and they condolence.

    My only black has gold design, she hated gold and I haven't got a brown tie. Wait, I have a beige tie, will that do?

    I don't have a bow tie:confused:. I have a few blue ties but they're probably inappropriate since 2 of them have red.

    I may need to invest in a new tie.
     
  13. Hoss

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    It's a beet red, dark deep. She liked red.

    I may stick with the red. I'm kind of confused now.

    Well my suit is black and there's gray in the tie, I've never really been one to fit in.

    When away from work a splash of color has always been my trademark, it was hers as well. Wearing putrid dark green at work for years made me want a livlier color off work.

    I hadn't thought about being linked to this.
    There seems to be a lot of push towards that and an almost equal number saying to wear the red.

    I'm going to talk with her husband later and see how he's holding up, maybe get a feel of it all. I guess my tie purchases over the years haven't been as good as they should have been.


    I remember my Granny had a friend that wore a bright red dress to a funeral once, it was upsetting to all except the bereaved person's family, they were happy about it that's why I want to talk with her husband and maybe their son, he drove in last night.
     
  14. Charles Finn

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    yes see how they feel and funeral are for the living not the dead
    my grandmother had a phone in her casket her favorite color was pink we tried to get a pink phone but we had to settle for a white phone.
    11 years later I still miss her
     
  15. onewatcher

    onewatcher Active Member

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    Wear it proudly with her in mind.
     
  16. jjsjr

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    Personally, I view a funeral as a celebration of a life rather than mourning. We mourn, the event celebrates.
    But, keep in perspective the family and their concerns. Mine are slightly less somber.

    Read my signature! :wink:

    l
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    #16 jjsjr, Jun 10, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  17. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    Everything is based on the people themselves. I just did the funeral thing for my late sister-in-law who left only a few weeks ago. In my case I tended to go more towards a monochrome look without any extreme contrasts. The funeral is for the living as the deceased have already left us. The ceremony is an honoring of the deceased and is supposed to be about they themselves and their life when they lived it. If you were to eliminate the blue shirt and go with a dark grey, a subdued red tie with grey stripes would be very much appropriate. I am assuming that you will be either in a grey or black suit. The red with the blue is a contrast which draws attention away from the deceased. Now, that is the decorum thing as it is "supposed to be". The truth is that if the deceased loved that particular tie and shirt combination and complemented you on it at some time in the past, you would be honoring her by in fact wearing that combination.
    It would depend on circumstances. Good luck and sorry for the loss. . . .
     
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