A sad story

[StraightCock4Her]

I'm highly interested in one of the most awesome women I've ever met. She is highly intelligent, a big nerd for anime and other more interesting things like philosophy and physics, beautiful and sexy as hell and just generally rather interesting.


Now, we just hung out today for the first time in like years but she told me so many sad stories about her life since I hung out with her.

Her ex-husband was an alcoholic, he ignored her when it came to any important decision, he didn't really seem to actually care about her at all, he raped her multiple times while she was sick (ovary cysts and other issues), and just generally was a horrible person to her when in reality she is the sweetest and most sincere person I've met in a long time. She of all people in this world deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

She tells me that she hates to be touched let alone anything sexual now because of her past experiences. She has major trust issues and she has had to work through her issues alone because she's very introverted and doesn't have many friends. Plus, she had to move away with her husband not too long after they got married. So, she was going through hell in some strange state with no one to talk to or give her any type of emotional support.


Any time I hear anything like this it makes me die a little inside. Sadly, it happens too often.

 

[dolfette]

life's a bitch.

 

[Titsdude21]

Yup life sure does suck sometimes. But look on the bright side....her life cant go anywhere but up so happy days ahead.

 

[D_Czarova Zucchini]

and one of these days she's gonna run into a guy who's as big a jerk as a last husband and she'll fall for him like a proverbial ton of bricks.

meanwhile the two of you will still be friends.

 

[AlphaSpartan]

Based on what you've said of her: if you treat her with respect and prove you're not nothing like her ex she'll be the most faithful person you've her met. I guarantee it.

Having said that - don't put her on a pedestal, only treat her respectfully.

 

[StraightCock4Her]

Having said that - don't put her on a pedestal, only treat her respectfully.

This is a very important thing, young men especially take note of this.

AlphaSpartan is speaking the truth, putting women on pedestals is a good way to be alone for the rest of your life. Don't do anything for a woman that you wouldn't do for any random guy you've met when she's still a "random" person to you. You have to put your relationship with women in perspective in order for women to respect the way you deal with them in relationships.


You wouldn't respect a woman who just rolled over and gave you everything you asked for no matter how ridiculous it was, right when you first met or even before the 10th date.

Just use your brains.

 

[B_quietguy]

I'd suggest she go into therapy. A good therapist can help her overcome anxiety about being touched and to overcome PTSD. If her exhusband raped her multiple times and she is as sensitive as you describe, then it sounds like it was enough for her to experience PTSD when the opportunity for sex arises.

You might want to read this Wikipedia article on the effects of rape on victims. It says "For one-third to one-half of the victims, these symptoms continue beyond the first few months and meet the conditions for the diagnosis of posttraumatic stress disorder. In general, rape and sexual assault are among the most common causes of PTSD in women."

 

[StraightCock4Her]

I'd suggest she go into therapy. A good therapist can help her overcome anxiety about being touched and to overcome PTSD. If her exhusband raped her multiple times and she is as sensitive as you describe, then it sounds like it was enough for her to experience PTSD when the opportunity for sex arises.

You might want to read this Wikipedia article on the effects of rape on victims. It says "For one-third to one-half of the victims, these symptoms continue beyond the first few months and meet the conditions for the diagnosis of posttraumatic stress disorder. In general, rape and sexual assault are among the most common causes of PTSD in women."

That's exactly what I was thinking.

 

[marriedasian]

i don't think she will be an easy case. she's obviously traumatized to some extent mentally and trying to undo things like that isn't easy at all.

just be her friend and slowly work your way out of the friend-zone before doing anything at all because if you do mess up even in the smallest of bits, you're screwed permanently.

no offense, but think long and hard before you tackle this as it looks like she comes with extra baggage.

 

[AlphaSpartan]

just be her friend and slowly work your way out of the friend-zone before doing anything at all because if you do mess up even in the smallest of bits, you're screwed permanently.

One who toys around in the friend zone stays in the friend zone permanently. There are very rare exceptions to this.

Women don't act on reason. Their thoughts are entirely based on emotion.

 

[dolfette]

Women don't act on reason. Their thoughts are entirely based on emotion.

you're an idiot.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Love how guys say we don't act on reason then go crazy when they see a pair of tits.

 

[AlphaSpartan]

Thanks for the intelligent input. I guess I should keep my success to myself from now on.

 

[StraightCock4Her]

The thought that women act entirely on emotion is a cliche and it's there for a reason. Women do act a lot on emotions and on social wrangling. However, women don't act entirely on emotion alone and they certainly do NOT have a problem thinking logically. It's juts a fact.

It just so happens that women are emotional beings and they view things from a more emotionally charged and socially charged perspective.


There's nothing illogical about liking tits

 

[Not_Punny]

I suggest a book called "Change your Brain, Change your Life" by Daniel Amen MD. Sounds like she has deep limbic system issues which are totally fixable.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

I don't want to blame the victim, but why did she stay with someone who was raping her?

If women use reason more than emotion you'd never know it from the TV commercials. I just shake my head at them. I can't believe women aren't protesting the pandering and being talked down to and treated like children. If I were a woman I know I'd be so furious I'd start an organization to protest the way commercials insult women's intelligence.

The Topsy Turvy
The Snuggie
Cuties
.....and so many other products targeting women have juvenile names. You don't see Craftsman tools or motor oils being sold based on anything other than the merits of the product. Why is that? Because men run ad agencies and think women are idiots? I can't think of another reason. Plus unfortunately this approach seems to work -- women buy Topsy Turvies and Snuggies and Cuties in vast quantities. I guess the diminutive names make them feel dainty? Whatever.

Also the commercials that show a couple and the women uses the product and the man does it the old fashioned way and she is done in half the time and stands there smirking at her bumbling husband. I'm thinking of painting systems or window cleaning products but there have been dozens and dozens along this line. These commercials insult women's intelligence far more than they insult men. They think that women are so easily manipulated that they will rush out and buy the product they just saw some woman on TV smirking at her husband about. Oh, wait......

 

[B_quietguy]

I don't want to blame the victim, but why did she stay with someone who was raping her?...

A lot of abusers know how to keep their victims from leaving. They limit the victims access to money, prevent them from visiting friends or family, stop them from learning good job skills, and so forth. The end result is the victim becomes emotionally and financially dependent on the abuser.

That's probably exactly what happened to the woman mentioned in the original post. She moved with an abuser to a town where she knew nobody. So she left her emotional and social support network and ended up in a town where she had no support. That made it easier for the abuser to control her life.

 

[B_quietguy]

One who toys around in the friend zone stays in the friend zone permanently. There are very rare exceptions to this.

Women don't act on reason. Their thoughts are entirely based on emotion.

Your comment is extremely offensive. It does nothing to help the man who was asking for help for a friend of his who got raped repeatedly by her exhusband.

 

[dolfette]

and what she needs right now is friends.

and maybe she's more likely to be able to get physical with a guy who has been her friend, because trust is the major issue. a man who can be around her and not push for sex may be very appealing after what she's been through.

 

[helgaleena]

I have to agree with dolfette. Nobody is going to get close to her until she is ready, and they are also going to need to be guaranteed friendly.

Also I sincerely am aggravated by people who say 'I don't want to blame the victim but' and then proceed to do so.

There are far too many reasons both logical and illogical for staying in a bad relationship for too long, and only those who are in them can see them all.