How have you handled this situation if it has occured?
In your experiences are people aware of any risks involved.
Do you feel that partners will still engage in unprotected sex due to condom issues despite any risks?
Is it, or is it not a concern for you?
Yes. As a top I have broken condoms, only about 3 times, all long before I have cum. Breakages were mainly because of not enough lube in my earlier days. Btw I am negative, and when I was really active for quite a few years (in my twenties), I used to get tested every three months. I had a number of regular, and 'almost random' partners, that I was thinking about more than myself I think. The testing had to do with privilege, excellent gay doctor, availability of tests, etc., etc. plus my education and family support.
Sometimes I will go through several condoms in a fucking session, NOT because they are broken, but because I like to take them off, and feel a guys hand or lips, and then put another new one on, and then get back to fucking.
I love to fuck ,and hope to have many, many, more years of pleasure, but I am often amazed at guys who bottom, and don't care about condoms. If they suggest not using condoms, or start to manoevure themselves for penetration, before I have a condom on, well I try to make a point of indicating my concern. Usually I just slap them hard on their asses, and they get the point. I might look them in the eye, and say "bad puppy", and then flip them over, and take control.
Once we are protected, I have no problems about getting down to business. I do store the fact that they were willing to be fucked without protection, and I make a point of being even more careful about any exchange of body fluids, dry kissing only etc. Yes, it does make me wonder who has planted their flag before me, and what risks there may be. But I always enjoy sex...
What concerns me is that there are so many beautiful guys still who will bend over as soon as they see a cock that impresses them, or drop to their knees instantly, without any moment of consideration for their own well being.
Part of it, I feel is the way the brain works. When people are 'in love' or infatuated, really horny, or a bit drunk, (that is every weekend at least), their judgement is impaired. The research I've read on this is pretty clear.
Our brains (well, the way they work, or don't work) put our bodies, and future ability to enjoy sex at risk. Knowing this is a really important part of single persons decision making. Young guys have a culture of taking risks anyway. They are very vulnerable.
I also know of some research which suggests that lower levels of education are related to unsafe sex practices. Education can make some people more skillfull at considering more abstract ideas/principles, and less immediate concerns in decision making. In my experience there is a little truth to this, but I wouldn't over emphasise it.
Yes some guys will take risks, to me it has a lot to do with how they value themselves, which to some degree is based on their value in society. Homophobia should be a major target in the fight against aids.
The whole issue is of concern to me, because I am regarded as attractive by some people, I can be very persuasive and charming, and I am used to having my own way. There are times when I know that, if I didn't insist on safe sex that the stunning men I am with, wouldn't care. I care, and I'm sure all the guys do too, when they are thinking about it, but the human brain is very fallible.
For me, I love the guys I have sex with, even if it is for one night only! OK even a few hours! Their physical, and emotional openess and vulnerability, is something that turns me on. I feel protective towards them when I am fucking their bodies. The experience of sex should be caring, humanising and uplifting.
Yes unprotected sex feels great, but as an active top I feel a sense of responsibility. To me it's sexier to be in charge, so what can I say? It's a great combination. Condoms, used effectively, have given me years of pleasure even though I would ideally choose to be with out them.
There is no doubt that all my early experimention, and just the number of guys I have made love to, around the world, would have gotten me into a lot of trouble, if I wasn't smart about condoms. This is an important message: more condoms equals more years of great sex.
Sorry about the length of all this, didn't realise my little brain had so many ideas spilling out:redface: .
