A sincere question about porn for straight guys

B_henry miller

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Most lines used in porn are stupid because most porn "actors" are terrible "actors." Even when they aren't saying degrading things, it still comes across as stupid and phoney most of the time. But those words -- "slut" and "whore" -- must turn some people on or else they wouldn't be there. They also turn some people off, which is why they don't watch porn with those kinds of words. There IS straight porn made for women; it tends to be less graphic.

I don't think porn overall is a bad thing because everyone is a consenting adult. But overall porn itself IS degrading. I don't think there's any porn out there of people having sex with others that they really love. Everyone's just doing it for money, and people are just selling it for money. Obviously.

But if you're going to get analytical, then at some level this addresses a male need to degrade women. And, yes, there are men -- a lot of them I suppose -- who get off on that. There are women who get off on it too. I've seen lesbian porn where one woman treats another woman the same. I've known real life lesbians who like dominating and degrading other women. And I've seen it in gay relations between men. It happens in gay porn too. You probably just don't notice because you focus on the treatment of women and terms used for women -- and there are no women in gay male porn.
 

petite

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I meant in terms of how it is looked upon by society.

I don't find porn bad, nor do I find swearing bad. But some people abhor both.

Oh, I'm not bothered by swearing. Something like, "Suck it you fucking whore!" can sound hateful and degrading, but something like, "You feel so fucking good! I love fucking you!" is great. In one situation he sounds like he's judging her for having sex with him, or even like he's attempting to punish her by fucking her, and in the other one it sounds like he's enjoying having sex with her.

tbh, i'm more bothered by japanese porn, where the girl looks like she's in a constant state of distress/pain. how guys can jack off to that is beyond me. i like a girl who's getting well fucked and enjoying every minute of it.

I agree with that, too.

TheBoyfriend and I watched one that was so chock full of anatomical impossibilities that every animator must have been a virgin! At one point her cervix opened and the guy fucked that! It was inadvertently hilarious because suddenly a lot of the dumb questions we get here on LPSG made sense. So that's where they get that stuff from! Ohhh!
 
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petite

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Most lines used in porn are stupid because most porn "actors" are terrible "actors." Even when they aren't saying degrading things, it still comes across as stupid and phoney most of the time. But those words -- "slut" and "whore" -- must turn some people on or else they wouldn't be there. They also turn some people off, which is why they don't watch porn with those kinds of words. There IS straight porn made for women; it tends to be less graphic.

I don't think porn overall is a bad thing because everyone is a consenting adult. But overall porn itself IS degrading. I don't think there's any porn out there of people having sex with others that they really love. Everyone's just doing it for money, and people are just selling it for money. Obviously.

But if you're going to get analytical, then at some level this addresses a male need to degrade women. And, yes, there are men -- a lot of them I suppose -- who get off on that. There are women who get off on it too. I've seen lesbian porn where one woman treats another woman the same. I've known real life lesbians who like dominating and degrading other women. And I've seen it in gay relations between men. It happens in gay porn too. You probably just don't notice because you focus on the treatment of women and terms used for women -- and there are no women in gay male porn.

I am capable of discerning when a man is being degraded in porn.

And I know that gay humiliation porn exists, too, but that's not the kind I like. I don't know how mainstream it is, but when I search for videos, it seems like it's much more common in straight porn.

I'm just curious how much of that is about demand from straight men. I read an article in Good magazine a few weeks ago about how the porn industry isn't responding to demand for what women want in male porn actors for straight porn. If that's true, it stands to reason that the industry could also be failing to give men what they want, too. Which is the reason why I ask, is this really what men want? Or is it evidence of what straight men will tolerate, even though it's not what they would prefer?
 
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B_Nia88

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i love rough degrading porn. i love seeing men being in control and dominating women especially interracial porn and it is what i seek out in porn
 
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petite

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I am very aroused by dirty talk during sex. I love hearing cunt, whore, slut etc.

You being called that really isn't the question I was asking, especially since you're also a woman. I was wondering about the porn that straight men enjoy watching and what they like to see and hear.

But since you answered, do you enjoy watching porn where the man calls the woman those names, too? Would you enjoy porn less if the guy didn't call her a slut or a whore? Is it an essential part of what is arousing about it for you?
 

pursine

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I agree. There are two aspects to this.

The first is that porn is fantasy, and just like playing violent videogames there is a sense that players frame the experience in a different way than they would a real life situation in which gender respect is called for. In other words I do not presume that representations of a kind of behaviour in porn somehow sanction or license that behaviour in real life. That kind of analysis is pretty unsophisticated because it ignores all the other socialization and normative variables that are at play.

However, I have to day that in my real life sexual encounters I do not get off on calling my partner a bitch, slut, whore (etc) even in sex talk play mode and I do not see why this has to be the norm in porn. It seems to be a presumption hetero porn that all men are misogynistic bastards. I think this is probably a minority taste in actuality and yes it does kind of get in the way of the pleasure for me too.


Sometimes the language used by the men in straight porn really bothers me. So many times I have been watching one and I thought, "Oh, why did you have to say that? Was that really necessary? I was enjoying this one until then and now yuck!" As a result, I usually turn off the sound so I won't get turned off by what the guy says to the woman he's fucking. There have been some that have been permanently ruined for me. Turning off the sound won't make me forget that I really think that guy is a real dick, so I don't care about his dick any more.

It's just one of the reasons why I prefer watching gay porn. Men don't often do that to each other in gay porn and so it seems so much more sex positive to me and much more enjoyable.

I was just now thinking about this and a thought occurred to me, so I present my question to you, straight men of LPSG...

Is this a case of what turns me off turns straight men on? Have you ever watched porn and thought, "You know, this would be so much sexier if he called her a slut more often." Does that happen? Do you feel that the porn would be less sexy if the guy didn't call her a slut or a whore? How much of language like that has to do with how much you enjoy porn?
 

B_Nia88

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But since you answered, do you enjoy watching porn where the man calls the woman those names, too? Would you enjoy porn less if the guy didn't call her a slut or a whore? Is it an essential part of what is arousing about it for you?
it is an essential part of what i find arousing in porn especially rough degrading interracial porn. i don't like porn where the man comes across as passive.
 

petite

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I agree. There are two aspects to this.

The first is that porn is fantasy, and just like playing violent videogames there is a sense that players frame the experience in a different way than they would a real life situation in which gender respect is called for. In other words I do not presume that representations of a kind of behaviour in porn somehow sanction or license that behaviour in real life. That kind of analysis is pretty unsophisticated because it ignores all the other socialization and normative variables that are at play.

However, I have to day that in my real life sexual encounters I do not get off on calling my partner a bitch, slut, whore (etc) even in sex talk play mode and I do not see why this has to be the norm in porn. It seems to be a presumption hetero porn that all men are misogynistic bastards. I think this is probably a minority taste in actuality and yes it does kind of get in the way of the pleasure for me too.

Thank you for answering. :smile:

I'm not drawing any of those conclusions from porn watching habits. As you said, it's complicated. A man who enjoys domination games isn't automatically a misogynist. I know perfectly well that people are so complicated that an outspoken feminist can also be a Dominant man. A woman can be both a feminist and enjoy submissive sex games. I think some BDSM porn is fun to watch sometimes, but for some reason, within that context it bothers me far less than in what is supposed to be "mainstream" porn, and as I said in my OP, some porn has been forever ruined by the language used. But those are my tastes, and I don't presume that they're shared by others.

it is an essential part of what i find arousing in porn especially rough degrading interracial porn. i don't like porn where the man comes across as passive.

I actually already knew that about you! :tongue:

So you are the target market for that kind of porn. Do you prefer actual BDSM porn, or does any porn where the man is being dominant suffice?
 

B_Nia88

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So you are the target market for that kind of porn. Do you prefer actual BDSM porn, or does any porn where the man is being dominant suffice? pretty much any porn where the man dominates the woman
 

DavidXL

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I'm answering from the perspective of a "mostly straight" guy, which may not be exactly the demo you are looking for. But, I don't like any kind of porn where I think anyone is being degraded. I don't like it when the guys call women sluts and whores (and I don't call my wife those words when we have sex). I also don't like facials in porn. And call me weird, but I find anal sex in straight porn (i.e., where women are receiving anal) degrading to the woman.

If I don't like the language in porn (or the fake shrieks of ecstasy), I put it on mute.
 

laser90

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If I don't like the language in porn (or the fake shrieks of ecstasy), I put it on mute.


I agree with David. I find soft porn much more titillating to watch. It's more romantic and theirs a lot more exploring all the other fun parts of the body.

As far as those shrieks of ecstasy....I just can't see any women in real life doing that when she got a 10 pound dick up her butt! OUCH! Oh and how many of you gals out there like to get a shot of cum in your eye?? OUCH that smarts.
 

Uncutpete

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I think the answer is that most porn is turned out quickly and cheaply. Most performers are not actors, just sexual performers. They mostly enjoy fucking each other, but they are not in love, nor even really passionate. The culture of porn has set up a bunch of things that people are "supposed" to say to each other that sound "hot." Personally, I find that stuff almost unwatchable. I have to really search to find straight porn that is not unbearably phony. It does exist. It is often amateur.
 

quantaviusK

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ooh im a straight(ish) guy, ill answer.
For me, i love it when the focus is on the woman. It turns me on like crazy watching a guy do everything he can to please her. Not necessarily in a submissive way, but trying to have sensual, pleasurable sex. Its pretty damn hard to find porn like this, but real amateur stuff tends to be best bet.
I've always loved going down on my lover and tend to feel sort of awkward when recieving head etc I think perhaps its a reaction to opinions of close female friends who complain about taste, throat pain and stuff. Obviously this isn't the case for all women, there must be some who genuinely enjoy it, but it makes me feel awkward none the less.
So, to finally answer your question petite. I don't really find the use of slut or whore in porn an enhancement of its erotic value. Each to their own i guess.
 
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I do not like watching a woman in porn being abused. Whether is is verbally, sexually, or physically. Which is why I'm not into gangbang porn or BDSM.

That said, I have indulged a women now and then that say things like, "I'm going to be your dirty little slut/whore tonight." Or, "Tonight I want you to treat me like a slut/whore." But role-playing on very rare occasions at the request of a partner I am in a serious relationship with is different IMO, then watching some chick get slapped around, gagged, and fucked in the ass by two dudes at the same time who are calling her a skank throughout the act.

But I've always been more turned on by watching the person I'm with have a good time. The more fun she is having the more fun I am having. Girls in the situation described above do not seem to be having a good time. *shudder*
 

DeepDish

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Petite: I don't like it. I don't like the slapping and choking crap either that I see more in more in mainstream porn. It does not turn me on in any way, it is a real boner killer. So I am not the market for this.
 

D_Balls Cezanne

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Petite: I don't like it. I don't like the slapping and choking crap either that I see more in more in mainstream porn. It does not turn me on in any way, it is a real boner killer. So I am not the market for this.

I agree with you regarding that salient point. When porn shows a woman genuinely enjoying herself then it stands heads and shoulders above the fake material that is out there. Violence, such as that described above, is of no interest to me and so it is quickly switched off.
 

ripvanwinkle

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i agree. there are so many things said and done that are just plain weird. aside from the childish words (bitch, whore, slut, nigga, etc) why write on a woman's body with a market, slap their asses, cum on their faces, make them gag, leaving them naked without their clothes, on and on. it just tells me that most of the people in the business are deranged or at least have "issues". perhaps itis because they cannot get a decent woman because they are so twisted. just my 2 cents...
 

Tully77

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