A Straight Married Guy's Gay Experiences... (long Post Warning).

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deleted1547822

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Not really a question here, so mods feel free to move as appropriate...

Many of you gay men ask a question testing the "straightness" of a straight man. You have attractions to men, to paraphrase "a billion wicked thought"; so surely that straight guy must harbor similar feelings somewhere too... I suppose you think.

So I'm a straight guy. Been married 25+ years. Salt of the earth midwesterner. I'm the guy telling you to stop asking these questions in the AASM forum. I'm not interested. I'm also not a prude, and I'm not a homophobe. And I recently had three gay experiences. Here they are, here's what I think of them, and here's why I can say I'm 100% straight.

Some years ago, my wife commented on how many gay guys in Key West were eye-balling me. I was oblivious to it, but she asked the question about me being with a guy. It was hot, she thought (this was the era of that Tom Cruise vampire era...). "Meh", was my response. I mean sure I've considered gay sex, from an academic perspective; but at the end of the day it's just no interest / indifference.

She raised the question in passing while watching some junk vampire/witch/charmed type of thing the other day, and one thing led to another. We created an account for me on adam4adam. Holy shit are there some freaks out there! But that's another story... We selected some sane potentials and began chatting and exchanging pics. Originally the intent was that she attend and watch. Ended up she just wanted to hear the story and I went alone. These are basically the reports...

Guy 1: 5'8" 175 lbs. Average sized dick, maybe 5.25x4.5. Strong upward curve. Hard. Very hard.

We met in a parking lot to make sure neither of us were freaks, and drove to his house. Pretty much walked straight back to the bedroom, he grabbed my crotch (and I his). He pressed forward and kissed me. It was curious. I always thought I would find it revolting. It wasn't, and I just thought how odd it was to feel stubble. We both stripped naked. He grabbed my cock, and I his. That was the first time I have ever touched a dick that was not my own. I was surprise at the warmth. He was very, very hard - the proverbial billy goat.

He said he was a top only, so ok... I'm completely new to this anyway. There was a little more rolling around on the bed, (bad) kissing, and then we were going to fuck. Between his curve and average length, and despite his determination, nothing was really working. So he lay back and I climbed on top. Ok, so the first time a dick slides into your asshole, that's a uniquely peculiar feeling. The curve, and the hardness was very pronounced. It was like some weird prostate check. I did my best mimicking my wife's "cowgirl" action, there was some grunting and rough dry hand job, and that's about it. When women talk about men being bad in bed, I now have an idea of what they mean. Overall maybe a D. I am basically still indifferent about "gay" activities. It's about as novel as playing with a flashlight. Kinda exciting at first, but overall "meh..."

I told my wife all that. A few days later she tells me she found something else...

That's getting long, and I don't even know if people wanna read about this. If so, let me know. If not, it'll die a quick death to the bottom of the thread list.
 
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deleted1547822

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I think she felt bad that I had such a mediocre experience. I'm still indifferent, and don't really care one way or another. It was surprising that she kept browsing and kept something else.

I'm sure this sounds like "dear penthouse", especially looking back at the first post. It's not, but think what you want....

Round 2: Anyway, she has found a partnered couple. Deep breath and contemplation. We chat for a few days... ok, what the hell. Guy one is 60, 5'8", 165 with average dick and slightly above average girth. Guy two is his mid-forties partner. A little hairy, dead average dick.

Niceties and introductions aside, we get naked on a king size bed. Nothing remarkable except these weird cock rings they both were wearing. Like some miniature pool-noodle colored thing. I don't know why, because neither of them could stay hard. They were clearly nervously excited, and were overtly permission confirming. Yes dude, you can put your dick in my mouth. Yes dude, you can play with my sack... *sigh*. At some point one of them took some initiative and slid a rubber down on my cock while I was laying on my back, and climbed on it. Ok, I've checked the blocks. Had dick sucked by guy. Sucked a guy's dick. Been penetrated, and now have penetrated a dude.

So he moved around a little, wanting me to stay still and saying "that's deep" as he played with his flaccid dick. I couldn't feel anything after the initial penetration because - no motion and condom. Hello....

I got home and the wife asked how it went. I still remember my response: A ridiculous circus of floppy dicks. She laughed.

Yep, indifferent to the gay stuff. Still love pussy. My wife and I are open and committed, and laugh that I didn't enjoy any of it - although I still think she felt bad about it and I think it disappointed her fantasy.

About 6 weeks later she randomly asks "what about this guy?"
 

thebiggulp

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I think she felt bad that I had such a mediocre experience. I'm still indifferent, and don't really care one way or another. It was surprising that she kept browsing and kept something else.

About 6 weeks later she randomly asks "what about this guy?"

Keep going.
 
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deleted1547822

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So it's shortly after morning sex, she's sitting on the couch with her iPad and I'm bringing her a cup of coffee; she says "what about this guy?"

I'm kind of surprised because I figured this whole thing was done. Had the experience, was nonplussed. What about this guy... ?

She shows me a picture of a black guy wearing a jock. 50's. Looks like a high school defense coach. My height, just under 6'; a little thicker than me in bone and whatnot (I'm slim) and probably 20 lbs heavier. 40 years ago his mom was buying his clothes in the husky section of Sears. Masculine, but profile says total bottom.

We get to chatting. Hey, nice guy. Sane guy. We share pics. He unlocked his private gallery sometime overnight, and my wife was browsing them the next morning. "Oh my, come look at this..." First pic is of his face. Nice lookin' guy, wearing a suit. Next is his ass up in the air, cheeks spread a little.

I can appreciate the human form in its variety. DaVinci's notions of symmetry and proportion, Voltaire's opinions on aesthetics, etc... Here was this black and white photo of the most perfectly rounded, smooth butt you've ever seen. Even his little asshole was the epitome of the human form. You just wanted to reach forward and give it a light poke with your finger to see it twitch. Generally I'm disgusted by asses. Other than the previously mentioned experience, my dick had never been in anyone's asshole. Poop comes out of there... Rimming, and the other stuff I read about here? Blech...

But with this guy's asshole... hey, I see the appeal. Weird.

There are a couple of other shots, and then one of his cock. "See!", my wife said. This guy has a dick like an emergency cone. Probably within a hair of 7 either way. Slender 4.5 at the tip, and tapers to a little over 6 at the base. It's violating every principle of beauty, yet (as Jeremy Clarkson describes Uma Thurman) "absolutely beautiful, but you can't say why..."

I was perplexed. Fixated and fascinated. I had to see this thing in person. More chat and time set up to visit his home. He mentioned something about if I liked porn. I guess I was ambiguous because when I went inside the tv was on, but no porn. He said he could turn some on, but I asked what was the point, since we could act out whatever we wanted. I undid my belt, popped the button on my jeans, and said "I'll be your pizza boy".

Ok, that sounds a little ridiculous in hindsight, but it seemed like the thing at the time...

Anyway, he came right over and finished getting my pants off. He sucked me, and he was good at it. I got good and hard, and pushed him back and I sat down. I told him to show me what he had goin' on under there (t-shirt and shorts, the latter having a tent attached to the front). He pulled his shirt off and then dropped his gym shorts. And there it was. It looked like like a silky, chocolatey (but veiny) rhino horn. It was magnificent, but I can't say why.

We went to the bedroom and I wanted to try that thing where you lay with your head off the side of the bed and they slide their dick in your mouth. I was amazed at the feeling of his cock in my throat. I was amazed that it didn't make me gag. Now I know what my wife feels when she does that to me.

There definitely was a vibe. He was comfortable and relaxed (although admitted slightly nervous too). We got up on the bed, sucked and fondled each other, etc... His dick was curiously amazing to hold. A smooth beautiful rhino horn is a good description. Sturdy, meaty and firm. I'm still fascinated by it.

I feel it was assumed that I was going to top. I wasn't sure how I would feel about that, but being a good Boy Scout I brought a rubber and a little bottle of lube. I pulled his butt up to how it was in that picture. Exactly the same in person. I gave his little button a poke with my fingertip. It twitched. I was still a little buzzed from earlier in the day, so I said what the hell. I stuck my tongue in his hole and gave it a little swirl. He twitched. Ok, mark "rimming" off the list. The gay couple invited me to do it, but I declined. I suppose it's just one of those things that works out or doesn't.

The moment of decision had arrived. I knew he had prepped, and I know what a pain in the ass that is, so I felt a little obligated. I slapped my dick on his asshole as I got the condom out and on. Then I started pushing. I'm looking down watching my cock work its way in, surreally thinking "I'm fucking some dude in the ass..." I will say that it makes you feel good to have a black guy take your dick to the hilt and say (god damn that's a big fucking dick). Ego boosted. Somewhere in there I kissed him. It was actually nice. Probably one of those things that either works or it doesn't...

So that's it. I'll post the philosophical thoughts and why I'm still 100% straight later. If you have any questions because you feel I left something out, feel free to ask.
 
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deleted1547822

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To answer a couple of questions I think might arise, revolving about my relationship with my wife, it's just simple.
- I love her, she loves me. We will grow old and die together. That simple.
- In our 50's, we still have amazing sex. Like amazon position amazing. I am completely content.
- She has always thought guy on guy is hot. That makes sense, I think girl on girl is hot.
- She simply asked if I would ever do something like that. I simply said, for her I would.

Sometime later she started looking to entertain a fantasy, and shit got a little real...

So what does that all mean? Sure there's the camp that thinks if you have one homosexual thought or heaven forbid and act, then you forever bear the taint of "gay". I get it. I thought it too, to some extent. There's a reason young dudes literally say "no homo" in awkward situations. Youth aside, it's really the border of homophobia. It's subjective, and good luck postulating to make it an objective truth, but it's somebody's truth nonetheless. That's an impasse.

The next camp will probably assert that it's in a "did you like it" thing. That "liking" is your "gayness". Really liked it, really gay. adjust your forum percentages accordingly... lol. It's a valid point though, and I buy into it a little. I've also pretty consistently maintained that there's room for alcohol and experimentation in there. I suppose that's where I'm at, for all the reasons described before.

So what do I think? Did I like it? Is that my gayness shining through? Well, for the first two that's easy. A big, fat forgetaboutit. The third guy was actually a lot of fun.

My wife and I have had a lot of fun over the years. We've played with kinky shit, bondage, pegging, vibrators, toys, spanking and whatnot. Each had its highlight. Most were actually a lot of fun. If I never did any of it again I wouldn't miss it in the least. I've pretty much checked off the list of basic gay acts. Sucked, been sucked. Fucked, been fucked. Kissed. Rimmed. Some was fun, some wasn't. If I never did it again I wouldn't miss it in the least. "Nope, it's pussy for me!" to quote a famous wildling. The musky scent of a woman, meaty lips in your mouth, full breasts with hard nipples like pencil erasers? Nirvana.

I wonder what difference it makes (re: labels the previous poster mentioned). The younger guy of the gay couple asserted "well, you're at least bi". Some guys in chat relate their change and assume I am having an identical experience. Curious. As an aside, there is apparently a group of 60 year old "good ol boys" whose sex life has ended at home so they periodically give each other hand jobs or blowjobs out behind the barn. I get a tickle out of that...

But wondering what other people think is a human issue. There's a reason the AAW forum (and the rest of the internet) is littered with "do you like my pecker?" questions. They can't get in the head of a woman, and current politics be damned we don't think alike. Comedians make millions pointing out all the discrepancies.

I suppose for that and similar reasons the AASM section gets gay-test questions. I'll try to be a little easier in my responses in the future.

Epilogue:

My wife did get a kick out of the story with the black guy and his rhino penis. We had some great laughs and great sex talking about it. I think part of her wants to be there, but our nekkid time is ours alone. She has a degree in English, so a story she can make up and fill in the blanks is probably better than anything that actually happened. She mentioned another visit, and recording some clips on my phone so she can see. She says "come in your mouth" isn't checked, and she does it for me... We'll see....
 

51arledge

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I think the message in your experiences is that it all depends on attraction. It seems like once you were in their presence, the first few guys were not desirable to you.
The last (black) guy was obviously fascinating to you from the start looking at his XXX photos. Then you were actually attracted to his asshole; you rimmed it! You fucked it! You kissed him ("It was nice")! The nature of that encounter was completely different in your telling than the other experiences.
Maybe there IS some percentage there for you!
 

Infernal

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Maybe heteroflexible, or situational sexuality? It doesn't really matter though, you are who and what you are. What you call it isn't important. If the opportunity comes up, and you're interested, then do it. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. I wish more people would just consider themselves "sexual" and leave it at that.
 
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deleted1547822

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Attraction. Hmmmm. Good word.

In the context of sex, attraction to me is just something that makes you want to fuck. Biological urge. For me, that's always been a female form. It's still the case. I can agree that (pick your favorite People sexiest man alive) is a handsome fellow. At no point in my mind will sex enter the equation. Do that for the sexiest woman alive and I'm an instant caveman somewhere in my head.

None of these men were "attractive" to me. I didn't find them unattractive either. The one guy's dick was just a fascinating thing because of its uniqueness. I like the terms "heteroflexible" and "situational sexuality", and like most labels they cover a spectrum and there will be arguments at the edges. Personality is probably what determined "fun". First guy was kind of selfish. Couple was too passive and unsure. Third dude was relaxed and comfortable. It was naughty. It was novel. It was informative. I'm about as indifferent to it as I am anything. I tried pineapple pizza. I tried fried rattlesnake. I tried dick. It's about in the same category of importance to me. Sex with my wife is so good that I do not want anything else. Sex with my wife is so good that she can send me off to play with a guy and I did it. My original opinion is unchanged. If that doesn't make me straight (or whatever term we want to use), I don't know what does... and I think she knew there wasn't a "gay" bone in my body, or none of this would have transpired.

Anyway, I'm just trying to give you guys a peek in a straight guy's head. Lord knows there are tons of questions on the forum. "How do I get my straight friend to let me suck him?" and whatnot. I'm open minded and old enough to take one (3?) for the straight guy team.

Your straight friend is probably either thinking "no homo" constantly, but might let you suck his dick if he is drunk enough and is confident nobody will know. It's just a rung below taking the fat ugly chick home from the bar at closing time. Everybody has ridden a moped, nobody wants anyone to know...

Your more liberal minded straight friend is probably thinking "thanks for the compliment, but no". Point is, the answer to all the "would a straight guy" questions, whether they involve a gym shower, masseuse, whatever.... is "probably not", and he ain't even thinking about anything like that. Indifference to the point of it not even crossing his mind.
 

AceWilde

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As a bi guy who has helped out a few straight couples where the guy is looking to explore... Your experience and feelings seem pretty consistent with the other definitely straight guys I've been with. And I always tell them that it's totally fine as long as they felt good and have no regrets. I was starting to worry after your second story that you'd miss out on the "felt good" part of that, but it sounds like you explored, you got what you were looking for, and you don't feel the need to go further and that's totally fine. I think some people get wrapped up in the fantasy and don't realize that for most experimenting straight guys... The experiment is just going to prove to them that they are straight. The ones that realize they might have more bi tendencies (like me) are much more rare.
 
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deleted1547822

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The experiment is just going to prove to them that they are straight.

This.

I didn't set out with that in mind, it didn't even occur to me, but that's the conclusion I reached.
 

Brodie888

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A lot of gay guys have experimented with sex with women when they are younger. Some live their whole life this way.

I guess perhaps your experiment will give you insight on how closeted gay men feel doing something that doesn't come naturally to them.
 

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This.

I didn't set out with that in mind, it didn't even occur to me, but that's the conclusion I reached.
I am bi..live as straight. Always found straight, manly men attractive and had lot of sex with them. When it comes sex with men .it comes pretty easy to me and even had it with my straight friends, colleagues..and rarely got no..I always wondered..how, straight men actually feel when they hv sex with guy?....and mostly with my exp 90% of them enjoy...now I can't say everyone has some % of gayness in them...guys live straight life as being gay is still not accepted on this planet nd is a taboo ...so mostly srt guys closeted, or men r in general very sexual to hv sex with any gender, or world assumption..of same sex ppl r totally wrong..they are more than 30-40% on this planet..haha
 
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deleted1547822

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Do you think your mindset would change if you had a really good fucking from a good patient top who knew how to serve dick?

Not really. There’s nothing about being penetrated that’s pleasurable for me. No animosity, just an absence of anything besides “meh”…
 
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Naturedreamer

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So it's shortly after morning sex, she's sitting on the couch with her iPad and I'm bringing her a cup of coffee; she says "what about this guy?"

I'm kind of surprised because I figured this whole thing was done. Had the experience, was nonplussed. What about this guy... ?

She shows me a picture of a black guy wearing a jock. 50's. Looks like a high school defense coach. My height, just under 6'; a little thicker than me in bone and whatnot (I'm slim) and probably 20 lbs heavier. 40 years ago his mom was buying his clothes in the husky section of Sears. Masculine, but profile says total bottom.

We get to chatting. Hey, nice guy. Sane guy. We share pics. He unlocked his private gallery sometime overnight, and my wife was browsing them the next morning. "Oh my, come look at this..." First pic is of his face. Nice lookin' guy, wearing a suit. Next is his ass up in the air, cheeks spread a little.

I can appreciate the human form in its variety. DaVinci's notions of symmetry and proportion, Voltaire's opinions on aesthetics, etc... Here was this black and white photo of the most perfectly rounded, smooth butt you've ever seen. Even his little asshole was the epitome of the human form. You just wanted to reach forward and give it a light poke with your finger to see it twitch. Generally I'm disgusted by asses. Other than the previously mentioned experience, my dick had never been in anyone's asshole. Poop comes out of there... Rimming, and the other stuff I read about here? Blech...

But with this guy's asshole... hey, I see the appeal. Weird.

There are a couple of other shots, and then one of his cock. "See!", my wife said. This guy has a dick like an emergency cone. Probably within a hair of 7 either way. Slender 4.5 at the tip, and tapers to a little over 6 at the base. It's violating every principle of beauty, yet (as Jeremy Clarkson describes Uma Thurman) "absolutely beautiful, but you can't say why..."

I was perplexed. Fixated and fascinated. I had to see this thing in person. More chat and time set up to visit his home. He mentioned something about if I liked porn. I guess I was ambiguous because when I went inside the tv was on, but no porn. He said he could turn some on, but I asked what was the point, since we could act out whatever we wanted. I undid my belt, popped the button on my jeans, and said "I'll be your pizza boy".

Ok, that sounds a little ridiculous in hindsight, but it seemed like the thing at the time...

Anyway, he came right over and finished getting my pants off. He sucked me, and he was good at it. I got good and hard, and pushed him back and I sat down. I told him to show me what he had goin' on under there (t-shirt and shorts, the latter having a tent attached to the front). He pulled his shirt off and then dropped his gym shorts. And there it was. It looked like like a silky, chocolatey (but veiny) rhino horn. It was magnificent, but I can't say why.

We went to the bedroom and I wanted to try that thing where you lay with your head off the side of the bed and they slide their dick in your mouth. I was amazed at the feeling of his cock in my throat. I was amazed that it didn't make me gag. Now I know what my wife feels when she does that to me.

There definitely was a vibe. He was comfortable and relaxed (although admitted slightly nervous too). We got up on the bed, sucked and fondled each other, etc... His dick was curiously amazing to hold. A smooth beautiful rhino horn is a good description. Sturdy, meaty and firm. I'm still fascinated by it.

I feel it was assumed that I was going to top. I wasn't sure how I would feel about that, but being a good Boy Scout I brought a rubber and a little bottle of lube. I pulled his butt up to how it was in that picture. Exactly the same in person. I gave his little button a poke with my fingertip. It twitched. I was still a little buzzed from earlier in the day, so I said what the hell. I stuck my tongue in his hole and gave it a little swirl. He twitched. Ok, mark "rimming" off the list. The gay couple invited me to do it, but I declined. I suppose it's just one of those things that works out or doesn't.

The moment of decision had arrived. I knew he had prepped, and I know what a pain in the ass that is, so I felt a little obligated. I slapped my dick on his asshole as I got the condom out and on. Then I started pushing. I'm looking down watching my cock work its way in, surreally thinking "I'm fucking some dude in the ass..." I will say that it makes you feel good to have a black guy take your dick to the hilt and say (god damn that's a big fucking dick). Ego boosted. Somewhere in there I kissed him. It was actually nice. Probably one of those things that either works or it doesn't...

So that's it. I'll post the philosophical thoughts and why I'm still 100% straight later. If you have any questions because you feel I left something out, feel free to ask.

Waw..seriously..below comment is so apt.."labels are for jars"..u seem to be enjoying man's dick in mouth, in ass, did rimming ...don't fall in trap of false labels..enjoy sex with men..more often..that's it..
 

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Herodotus - you've done more than I would ever do. And in situations where m4m sex was available to me, I just couldn't get very interested. For me, it's more like a science experiment...I can't imagine why a gay guy would be that interested in me - other than being attracted to my obvious physical attributes and personality - but I'm definitely not putting anywhere near the same amount or type of energy in this that I would with a woman.
 
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deleted1547822

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I didn't put that much energy into it. There's no shortage of guys that you could do all sorts of things with - right now.

My wife did most of the screening, and that's where any work was at. Filtering through weirdos and whatnot. She got a kick out of that - pretending to be a guy essentially - albeit a gay one.

Re: Naturedreamer and the "I seem to be enjoying..." comment. Not really. Didn't detest it, which I thought I would; but ain't interested in doing it again. Like I said, no animosity toward any of it, but absolutely no interest either. Complete absence of interest, whatever that works out to in a label.
 
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