I am a fifty-nine year-old white man. A few days ago, I experienced the feeling of discrimination for the first time in my life. I was born with a cleft palate, so I know what what it is like to be teased and made fun of by others. Even into adulthood I still get comments on my crooked nose. I have developed a thick skin over time and with age those comments or sideway glances don’t bother me.
I hope you will forgive me when I tell you that I equated discrimination with being teased. For it is not—it is so much more. Please allow me to explain my epiphany.
I work in a small palliative care facility as a volunteer. With the coronavirus pandemic, my volunteerism has turned into something resembling full time work as I am there about thirty hours each week, five days a week.
The facility has been very careful to manage the pandemic as best they can. When we come into the building our temperature is taken, we respond to a health questionnaire, and we are given PPE. These procedures have been in place for almost a month.
This past Tuesday, I was leaving the same time as the cleaner, a Latino woman. The woman at the desk was taking her temperature, so I asked if this was a new policy. She responded telling me not to worry, she would not need to take my temperature. As we left the building, I could she my Latino friend was upset. When I asked her what was bothering her, she told me she was upset because she is the only one who has a temperature taken when leaving the facility. She felt embarrassed.
I confess that much of my life I am the guy who ‘just doesn’t want to get involved’ but this bothered me. So for the next few days I watched people exit and asked questions of staff. It turns out there is a policy to take exit temperatures, but no one I talked with had ever had their temperature taken at exit—except my friend, the cleaning woman.
I called a friend who is in human resources and asked him if I should address the woman at the desk directly, or take it to the HR manager of the organization. His advice was to take it to the HR manager advising me that even if no overt discrimination was happening, education and communication was needed. On Friday, I met with the HR manager first thing. I truly believe she is a very competent woman, but I knew that she would have to speak with the woman on the desk. Given the relatively small size of the organization, it would not be difficult for her to figure out who had ‘ratted her out’.
As I went to leave Friday, she looked up and said, “just a moment, I need to take your exit temperature.” She sat at her computer and typed a few words. It wasn’t even a minute, but she made me wait, whereas normally I would be out the door already. She came over and readied the thermometer. Then she spoke to me like I was six years old. Her words, in a very condescending tone were: “I need you to keep absolutely still while I take your temperature.” I didn’t give it much thought—I mean, I don’t need to be perfectly still for a temperature reading.
The thermometer is one where it is placed in your ear and a button pushed for the reading. She placed it in my ear, but as she pushed the button she shoved the probe a little further into my ear. It didn’t hurt, it just startled me and I moved my head instinctively.
She frowned at me. “That reading is no good. Let’s see if you can be still this time, shall we?” Her tone was scolding me, as if I was wasting her time. Something happened to me. I became that six year old. All I wanted to do was be absolutely still even though my mind told me this was crazy. I prepared for another assault in my left ear, but this time she was gentle and the beep told me she had the reading. “There. That was easy when you do as you’re told and follow instructions.”
I could not believe what was happening. I thought I needed to address this issue with her, but I was scared. I could not believe it. I was suddenly afraid of this woman. I couldn’t speak.
And she wasn’t quite done with me. “I need you to wait a moment until I record your temperature.” She cleaned the thermometer with a sanitary wipe. Made her way over to the computer. Typed for a minute then told me I could go. I knew that this was just another made up excuse to make me wait.
It is evident to me that HR did speak with her. I am sure she told HR that she was only following policy…blah, blah. What could HR do? I am certain the woman at the desk was very apologetic to the HR manager. It is also very evident that this woman decided that if I wanted to take this matter to HR, she would make sure she took my temperature.
As I sat in my car, I realized that I had just been a victim of discrimination. Please understand, I am not suggesting I face the same discrimination minorities face. I certainly do not. But at that moment I felt humiliated and powerless. I had a small taste of what discrimination really looks like. It is harassment and humiliation.
I am a spiritual person, so I closed my eyes and let it all go. I could have been angry, but that would just be taking on her negative energy.
I don’t know what makes her behave this way. I don’t know how to help. But I confess, I am ready for Monday and looking forward to my exit temperature. She won’t get inside my head again—at least, I don’t think she will.
I hope you will forgive me when I tell you that I equated discrimination with being teased. For it is not—it is so much more. Please allow me to explain my epiphany.
I work in a small palliative care facility as a volunteer. With the coronavirus pandemic, my volunteerism has turned into something resembling full time work as I am there about thirty hours each week, five days a week.
The facility has been very careful to manage the pandemic as best they can. When we come into the building our temperature is taken, we respond to a health questionnaire, and we are given PPE. These procedures have been in place for almost a month.
This past Tuesday, I was leaving the same time as the cleaner, a Latino woman. The woman at the desk was taking her temperature, so I asked if this was a new policy. She responded telling me not to worry, she would not need to take my temperature. As we left the building, I could she my Latino friend was upset. When I asked her what was bothering her, she told me she was upset because she is the only one who has a temperature taken when leaving the facility. She felt embarrassed.
I confess that much of my life I am the guy who ‘just doesn’t want to get involved’ but this bothered me. So for the next few days I watched people exit and asked questions of staff. It turns out there is a policy to take exit temperatures, but no one I talked with had ever had their temperature taken at exit—except my friend, the cleaning woman.
I called a friend who is in human resources and asked him if I should address the woman at the desk directly, or take it to the HR manager of the organization. His advice was to take it to the HR manager advising me that even if no overt discrimination was happening, education and communication was needed. On Friday, I met with the HR manager first thing. I truly believe she is a very competent woman, but I knew that she would have to speak with the woman on the desk. Given the relatively small size of the organization, it would not be difficult for her to figure out who had ‘ratted her out’.
As I went to leave Friday, she looked up and said, “just a moment, I need to take your exit temperature.” She sat at her computer and typed a few words. It wasn’t even a minute, but she made me wait, whereas normally I would be out the door already. She came over and readied the thermometer. Then she spoke to me like I was six years old. Her words, in a very condescending tone were: “I need you to keep absolutely still while I take your temperature.” I didn’t give it much thought—I mean, I don’t need to be perfectly still for a temperature reading.
The thermometer is one where it is placed in your ear and a button pushed for the reading. She placed it in my ear, but as she pushed the button she shoved the probe a little further into my ear. It didn’t hurt, it just startled me and I moved my head instinctively.
She frowned at me. “That reading is no good. Let’s see if you can be still this time, shall we?” Her tone was scolding me, as if I was wasting her time. Something happened to me. I became that six year old. All I wanted to do was be absolutely still even though my mind told me this was crazy. I prepared for another assault in my left ear, but this time she was gentle and the beep told me she had the reading. “There. That was easy when you do as you’re told and follow instructions.”
I could not believe what was happening. I thought I needed to address this issue with her, but I was scared. I could not believe it. I was suddenly afraid of this woman. I couldn’t speak.
And she wasn’t quite done with me. “I need you to wait a moment until I record your temperature.” She cleaned the thermometer with a sanitary wipe. Made her way over to the computer. Typed for a minute then told me I could go. I knew that this was just another made up excuse to make me wait.
It is evident to me that HR did speak with her. I am sure she told HR that she was only following policy…blah, blah. What could HR do? I am certain the woman at the desk was very apologetic to the HR manager. It is also very evident that this woman decided that if I wanted to take this matter to HR, she would make sure she took my temperature.
As I sat in my car, I realized that I had just been a victim of discrimination. Please understand, I am not suggesting I face the same discrimination minorities face. I certainly do not. But at that moment I felt humiliated and powerless. I had a small taste of what discrimination really looks like. It is harassment and humiliation.
I am a spiritual person, so I closed my eyes and let it all go. I could have been angry, but that would just be taking on her negative energy.
I don’t know what makes her behave this way. I don’t know how to help. But I confess, I am ready for Monday and looking forward to my exit temperature. She won’t get inside my head again—at least, I don’t think she will.
