- Joined
- Jun 14, 2021
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- 181
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- Dallas (Texas, United States)
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- Sexuality
- 100% Gay, 0% Straight
- Gender
- Male
Hello, all! I'm a very average gay man (he/him) who is married to a woman. We've been married 22 years and have a 20-year-old son. I came out to my wife on July 4, 2017; I had come out to my son a couple of days before. I'm uncut, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
Both my wife and I were born into the Independent Fundamental Baptist cult and grew up being steeped in the expectations of the cult. Homosexuality was one of the greatest sins that anyone could commit, worse even than suicide. It is still believed that homosexuality is a learned lifestyle, a choice. Further, the expectation for a young man or young woman to find a mate of the opposite sex is very overt. Because of these expectations and the cultish ways in which we had grown up, my wife and I found each other and got married. 13 months later, our son was born. I continued to live in the closet for 17 more years.
I'm happy to say that my family is now free of the expectations of the cult. It was a very difficult parting of ways. It started with a suicide attempt on my part just to end the emotional and psychological suffering that I had been living with for so many years. Now, four years later, both my son and I have turned our backs on any sort of religious system. My wife still attends a Southern Baptist church.
I have always been attracted to men. I’ve always loved the look of men's bodies: the curve of the back and ass, the shoulders, the chest, the cock, the face. I couldn't get enough of experiencing the taboo. Sadly, I didn't get to experience it enough, and even as I grew up attending religious schools and colleges, my experience was minimal. In my home, it was even forbidden to masturbate, and both my dad and my mom were very nosy and intrusive regarding that. My first sexual experience with another man happened in college, in fact.
Now, I'm 54 years old and very average. Below average, perhaps. I don't visit gyms, I stay at home and don't get out much. I do what I can to foster familial harmony. My wife has been through years of counseling regarding her distress at being married to a gay man, and our relationship is improving. My son loves me and despises my wife -- he doesn't plan on ever getting married.
I have found encouragement and truth in the many pages of this website. I've found titillating videos of all sorts, some collections of which are so niche as to be somewhat magical to me. I've read many, many personal stories and have come away with the understanding that I am a part of a group of men who got married because of religious duty and have lived decades of unhappy and unfulfilled lives. To you, my new friends, and to the rest of you who are either an active part of this website or who choose to lurk and read, I express my love and admiration. To you older men who grew up, like me, when being gay and out was an invitation to be bullied and beaten, I remember those painful days when I read your stories, and I love you for sharing and for helping me heal. To you younger guys who are out and living your best lives right now and whose futures seem radiant with acceptance, diversity, and inclusion, please forgive me for letting my eyes linger just a bit too long as I marvel at your joyous existence and feel the ache of the loss of years spent in the closet. I love you all and wish you the very best lives!
Both my wife and I were born into the Independent Fundamental Baptist cult and grew up being steeped in the expectations of the cult. Homosexuality was one of the greatest sins that anyone could commit, worse even than suicide. It is still believed that homosexuality is a learned lifestyle, a choice. Further, the expectation for a young man or young woman to find a mate of the opposite sex is very overt. Because of these expectations and the cultish ways in which we had grown up, my wife and I found each other and got married. 13 months later, our son was born. I continued to live in the closet for 17 more years.
I'm happy to say that my family is now free of the expectations of the cult. It was a very difficult parting of ways. It started with a suicide attempt on my part just to end the emotional and psychological suffering that I had been living with for so many years. Now, four years later, both my son and I have turned our backs on any sort of religious system. My wife still attends a Southern Baptist church.
I have always been attracted to men. I’ve always loved the look of men's bodies: the curve of the back and ass, the shoulders, the chest, the cock, the face. I couldn't get enough of experiencing the taboo. Sadly, I didn't get to experience it enough, and even as I grew up attending religious schools and colleges, my experience was minimal. In my home, it was even forbidden to masturbate, and both my dad and my mom were very nosy and intrusive regarding that. My first sexual experience with another man happened in college, in fact.
Now, I'm 54 years old and very average. Below average, perhaps. I don't visit gyms, I stay at home and don't get out much. I do what I can to foster familial harmony. My wife has been through years of counseling regarding her distress at being married to a gay man, and our relationship is improving. My son loves me and despises my wife -- he doesn't plan on ever getting married.
I have found encouragement and truth in the many pages of this website. I've found titillating videos of all sorts, some collections of which are so niche as to be somewhat magical to me. I've read many, many personal stories and have come away with the understanding that I am a part of a group of men who got married because of religious duty and have lived decades of unhappy and unfulfilled lives. To you, my new friends, and to the rest of you who are either an active part of this website or who choose to lurk and read, I express my love and admiration. To you older men who grew up, like me, when being gay and out was an invitation to be bullied and beaten, I remember those painful days when I read your stories, and I love you for sharing and for helping me heal. To you younger guys who are out and living your best lives right now and whose futures seem radiant with acceptance, diversity, and inclusion, please forgive me for letting my eyes linger just a bit too long as I marvel at your joyous existence and feel the ache of the loss of years spent in the closet. I love you all and wish you the very best lives!
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