A wal-mart hero

[HazelGod]

I agree with posters who said that parents need to remove an upset kid from public situations. It's the best way to lower everyone's stress levels, including the kid's.

While I tend to generally agree, I also think this has the potential to set a destructive precedent without proper follow-up. Kids will figure out quickly that their parents can be manipulated into leaving any place by pitching a fit. There has to be some negative consequence put on them in addition to leaving...and they need to learn that they are not the center of the universe.

 

[dolfette]

hazel's right. i think the kids should fit around what i have to do.
i never once had a supermarket tantrum, because they knew i never bend to that manipulation.
there's playtime and there's practical time. if the shopping needs doing now then it's getting done now.

it's a life lesson.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

i've turned around in a zoo carpark, after a two hour drive to get there, and driven them straight home because they were told not to bicker in the car...that worked a treat and they kept quiet in the car from that day forth.
a little imagination and a lot of will power. give them an understanding of consequences.

Exactly. My mom and aunts and uncles all say that when they were growing up if they left something out, my grandmother threw it away.

Mom, where's my toy truck?
Oh you left in on the floor so I thought you didn't want it so I threw it away.

Mom, where's my favorite skirt?
Oh you left it in a pile on the bed so I thought you didn't want it so I threw it out.

They each lost ONE thing they really liked and after that they put EVERYTHING away religiously.

I've told this story ( I love it. If I had kids I would do this.) to many people. Several women have said -- "Yeah, but then you have to buy them another one."

Hello! Uh, NO YOU DON'T. That's why your children have you over a barrel. If they know you're willing to drive straight home after driving 2 hours to get to the zoo, they respect you and take your words seriously.
If they know you are willing to buy them something and then throw it away (and not replace it) if they don't take care of it, they will take care of it.

My grandma was a smart, smart lady. (And my mom and aunts and uncles are all very, very tidy. LOL)

 

[DaveyR]

Exactly. My mom and aunts and uncles all say that when they were growing up if they left something out, my grandmother threw it away.

Mom, where's my toy truck?
Oh you left in on the floor so I thought you didn't want it so I threw it away.

Mom, where's my favorite skirt?
Oh you left it in a pile on the bed so I thought you didn't want it so I threw it out.

They each lost ONE thing they really liked and after that they put EVERYTHING away religiously.

I've told this story ( I love it. If I had kids I would do this.) to many people. Several women have said -- "Yeah, but then you have to buy them another one."

Hello! Uh, NO YOU DON'T. That's why your children have you over a barrel. If they know you're willing to drive straight home after driving 2 hours to get to the zoo, they respect you and take your words seriously.
If they know you are willing to buy them something and then throw it away (and not replace it) if they don't take care of it, they will take care of it.

My grandma was a smart, smart lady. (And my mom and aunts and uncles are all very, very tidy. LOL)

Great :biggrin1: I love it and your Grandma :smile:

 

[vince]

While I tend to generally agree, I also think this has the potential to set a destructive precedent without proper follow-up. Kids will figure out quickly that their parents can be manipulated into leaving any place by pitching a fit. There has to be some negative consequence put on them in addition to leaving...and they need to learn that they are not the center of the universe.

I agree if the kid is one year old or more. I was thinking along the lines of really little ones. Sometime's, you have no idea what the problem is with a baby. It can be any number of reason's that they just cry and cry. Teething can be a bitch for a kid and there is not much relief from the pain. In the case of a baby crying there are few options and I'm not sure what negative consequences could be. An exception is crying in the bed for no good reason. This is one place babies learn how to manipulate parents. We let her cry for two nights and it solved the problem. You go in check her diaper, there's nothing wrong, she calms down and as soon as you leave she starts up again. Screw that, close the door and tough it out, problem over.

 

[dolfette]

I agree if the kid is one year old or more. I was thinking along the lines of really little ones. Sometime's, you have no idea what the problem is with a baby. It can be any number of reason's that they just cry and cry. Teething can be a bitch for a kid and there is not much relief from the pain. In the case of a baby crying there are few options and I'm not sure what negative consequences could be. An exception is crying in the bed for no good reason. This is one place babies learn how to manipulate parents. We let her cry for two nights and it solved the problem. You go in check her diaper, there's nothing wrong, she calms down and as soon as you leave she starts up again. Screw that, close the door and tough it out, problem over.

maybe it's a mom thing, but i could tell by the cry.
discomfort, pain, hunger, tiredness and frustration all had different sounding cries.

 

[b.c.]

Children acting up in public sometimes is a normal thing. Parent's who ignore it and let it go on is not, imo.

When I witness kids screaming, running amok, and acting out while the parent(s) stand there like nothing's happening, it's not the kids I wanna' slap silly.

 

[B_Dustydo]

Planning is so important when taking children to the supermarket.

Morning is best before they get tired and need a nap.
There is nothing like a cranky tired toddler.
I use to bring a bag of carrots stick for them to nibble and a half frozen box of juice (freezing it made sure it lasted longer)as I pushed the cart.
I also got them involved with the shopping.
Kids love to help. It makes them feel important.
Channel some of that energy into letting them help you put produce into bags and taking selected items off the shelves at their height.

In the odd times they did have a melt down it was either because they were tired or being bratty.
When they are being bratty I just kept walking and putting thing into the cart.
It's the best way to deal with it.
They are after attention so don't give it to them.
Every other mother there will know exactly what you are doing and you will get a few looks of understanding.
By the time you get down the isle they'll see it's not working and stop.

But really there is no point expecting perfect behavior in a public setting if it isn't expected at home.

 

[Darkriff]

Some of these posts are too age specific. Altho I agree to an extent to allow my daughter to help me shop, she's too young for it. She understands enough to get something, but the last thing I want is for her to get into the habit of grabbing shit off the shelves. As to the person that made a comment about leaving the kids at home. Good in theory, but completely flawed... take a look at how it worked for you... then turn is bass akwards and fuck it sideways. That's how it goes for alot of people. Not everyone is in the perfect situation to do their shopping in the morning, or to just leave and go home, or to just get a babysitter. What about Single moms that work third shift at a diner and can't afford a babysitter? I didn't say I ever allow my kid to act up, but also I know what my options are. I personally can't afford a babysitter right now, and I work 60 hours a week, in the car off to work by 5am. So going to the store in the morning wouldn't do anything for me. Kids cry, they get upset, it doesn't mean that you need to beat the shit out of them so that they'll "learn". Contrary to what some people think, some kids actually cry because there's a problem sometimes. Ionno about you, but to me having other people deal with my crying kid cause she's tired is better than me going home without any food because I don't have the options to go in the morning, or the means to hire a babysitter is just the way it'll have to be. There's a HUGE difference between what some people are talking about and what others are talking about. Some are talking about disciplining a child in general when acting out in public, others are talking about if strangers have the right to put their 2 cents in while your child is upset and you're trying to get some shopping done. Two completely different things. If my child throws a bit because she wanted Chocolate instead of Vanilla ice cream while at Sea World, yeah I'm gonna bust her ass, dependant upon many variables, and go home. If she's crying (not to be confused with throwing a fit and showing her ass) because she's legitimately upset, then guess what, the others in the super market will have to deal with it. I'm broke as shit and have a hungry child on my hip.

P.S. I heart you dolfette, you're the poo ^^

 

[dolfette]

i heart you too!

when the ex worked offshore i was left to cope with a tiny baby and a 5y/o, all alone.
no way could i go all the way home every time the baby whimpered.
and abandoning a cart of groceries mid-shop isn't fair on the staff.

 

[Darkriff]

i heart you too!

when the ex worked offshore i was left to cope with a tiny baby and a 5y/o, all alone.
no way could i go all the way home every time the baby whimpered.
and abandoning a cart of groceries mid-shop isn't fair on the staff.

See that's what I was saying. In a perfect world perhaps we all could have the money to hire a babysitter while we did our grocery shopping. But then again, in a perfect world children would be perfect always and would be born knowning how to take care of themselves and work to provide for themselves rofl.

 

[SuperSizedBalls]

I agree that the 'slapper' was out of line in touching someone else's child, HOWEVER, I'm also regularly appalled that the parents of misbehaving and/or loud, obnoxious or disruptive spawn, lacking the courtesy, ability or interest to consider the OTHER patrons of a given establishment or environment (like onboard a plane) and seem to think that they have an inherant right to allow their kids to run un-checked. These days, when I encounter these types of situations, I simply walk away from my basket or shopping cart and head STRAIGHT for the door leaving everything in the cart. MAYBE the management of these retailers will get the drift and take action to make their stores comfortable for all of us that just want to shop in peace and quiet . . . and if not, SCREW 'em . . . there are many other stores that won't cater to the low lifes that can't/won't keep their brats in line.

 

[vince]

^^If I was the store manager I'd hold the f..ing door open for you as you left with your huff.

 

[polesmoker]

^^If I was the store manager I'd hold the f..ing door open for you as you left with your huff.

Why? One of the principles of retail is people spend the most amount of money when they stay in stores after they have selected their intended items. If people leave without making purchases or leave quicker (befor making unplanned purchases) the store loses money.

 

[Darkriff]

I agree that the 'slapper' was out of line in touching someone else's child, HOWEVER, I'm also regularly appalled that the parents of misbehaving and/or loud, obnoxious or disruptive spawn, lacking the courtesy, ability or interest to consider the OTHER patrons of a given establishment or environment (like onboard a plane) and seem to think that they have an inherant right to allow their kids to run un-checked. These days, when I encounter these types of situations, I simply walk away from my basket or shopping cart and head STRAIGHT for the door leaving everything in the cart. MAYBE the management of these retailers will get the drift and take action to make their stores comfortable for all of us that just want to shop in peace and quiet . . . and if not, SCREW 'em . . . there are many other stores that won't cater to the low lifes that can't/won't keep their brats in line.

If I owned a grocery store...
Hmm... on one hand I have someone I'm losing business on because of circumstances I can't control. Someone obviously single nonetheless. On the other hand I have a woman buying for a FAMILY. She obviously spends alot more money than the single guy. No one else is complaining? Hmm....

Pretty apparent as to why they don't do anything about it. Many people have said it. They're not there to help you, they're there to take your money. As long as the complaints aren't an issue, why would they care if one or two people left once in a blue moon? Can't please all the people all the time but you can please some of the people some of the time.

As I said in my earlier post there's two different kind of comments floating in this thread. People talking about lack of discipline for spoiled children, and others just simply talking about children that cry in a public setting, not giving a shit what their problem is. "I'm an individual and a customer too, I don't come to the fucking grocery store to listen to people's kids cry cause they're hungry! WTF?!"

C'mon, for real. It's life, and it will always happen thru time. Kids cry. Alot of the stupidest responses are from people without kids. Again, I'm not saying that I tolerate my child being a brat.

 

[B_Morning_Glory]

^^If I was the store manager I'd hold the f..ing door open for you as you left with your huff.

yes but after he past id also push it toward him hard so it would hit him in the ass on his way out as well. how ever i don't like unruly brats either but crying isn't unruly. and the old guy that done the slapping to the kid. he is very lucky he wasn't around when my kids were that kids age . or he would be picking himself up off the floor. thats uncalled for NO matter what his reasons were. the kid wasn't his and he needs to learn how to deal with life.. as I'm sure he balled his eyes out as a kid as well in his younger days. every one has at one time or another as a youngster. if they say different their a liar.

 

[B_Morning_Glory]

While I tend to generally agree, I also think this has the potential to set a destructive precedent without proper follow-up. Kids will figure out quickly that their parents can be manipulated into leaving any place by pitching a fit. There has to be some negative consequence put on them in addition to leaving...and they need to learn that they are not the center of the universe.

yes this is true, my oldest tried the crying bit once because he wanted something but it didn't work i took him to the car and straiten him out went back into the store. he never tried that again. so it has a lot to do with how they are raised as hazel says.

 

[B_Morning_Glory]

Exactly. My mom and aunts and uncles all say that when they were growing up if they left something out, my grandmother threw it away.

Mom, where's my toy truck?
Oh you left in on the floor so I thought you didn't want it so I threw it away.

Mom, where's my favorite skirt?
Oh you left it in a pile on the bed so I thought you didn't want it so I threw it out.

They each lost ONE thing they really liked and after that they put EVERYTHING away religiously.

I've told this story ( I love it. If I had kids I would do this.) to many people. Several women have said -- "Yeah, but then you have to buy them another one."

Hello! Uh, NO YOU DON'T. That's why your children have you over a barrel. If they know you're willing to drive straight home after driving 2 hours to get to the zoo, they respect you and take your words seriously.
If they know you are willing to buy them something and then throw it away (and not replace it) if they don't take care of it, they will take care of it.

My grandma was a smart, smart lady. (And my mom and aunts and uncles are all very, very tidy. LOL)

big Dallas my hubby did this once a long time ago when our boys wouldn't clean their room as i ask them to. so while at school he happened to come home early one day and saw the mess they had. needless to say he cleaned it for them they had a bed and thats it. they really liked the things they had an every thing meant something special to them. at the time they thought he really did throw it all away,[ so did i.] but in a month OR so i think some were around that. he ask them to go out to his storage shed to help him. he set out their things and they didn't know what to do. it was like Christmas time to them because their special items they thought was long gone for ever they got back . every since their room is clean. how ever they have become some what neat freaks. and at times even with the rest of the house as well. but you will never hear me complaining about that no sir.:wink: so no you don't have to replace if you go about it the right way.

 

[D_Mylor Mentallydaft]

I think that anyone who condones this behaviour was probably slapped in the face a few too many times their ownselves.

no one "condoned" it...... I said I understood it..... don't condone killing your wife, but I understand it. and he is held with out bail on assault. Nothing was condoned. in fact he is being made an example of

Its like when you see on the news a guy kills his wife, wife killing her husband, you have no idea what they went through but i can tell you for 100% certin that allthough that man might have been slapped TOO MUCH, you can bet that kid had CERTINLY not been slapped enough

 

[dolfette]

Its like when you see on the news a guy kills his wife, wife killing her husband, you have no idea what they went through but i can tell you for 100% certin that allthough that man might have been slapped TOO MUCH, you can bet that kid had CERTINLY not been slapped enough

that kid was a toddler.
too young to slap by most people's standards.
and all the report said was that she was crying.
it didn't say tantrum, scream or yell.
if you cry is it because you need a slap?
or are there lots of reasons you might be crying?