a way to decrease sex drive???

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by honeydew, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. honeydew

    honeydew New Member

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    :banghead2: I am very frustrated at this point! I am 41(soon to be 42) and have the sex drive of a freakin teenager. Whats the matter with this? My husband has diabetes and has trouble in the sex area. He is a total non instigator of any sexual contact and will not assist in any way to try cock rings etc. We tried Viagra and Cialis , no results. I truly love this guy and he gives me so much in other areas. He feels like shit about this(I know but not enough to do something)
    Is there a product that can decrease sex drive for women?

    I am at the point I hate my sex drive.

    HD
     
  2. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Get yourself a vibrator

    or a toy boy
     
  3. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Sweetie the only thing I can think of is very demanding exercise, be so utterly tired you'll just fall straight off to sleep.
     
  4. OmahaBeef

    Gold Member

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    Have him get his testosterone levels checked...

    ...OB
     
  5. davidjh7

    Gold Member

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    Note she said he had diabetes---which often has an effect on erectile function. He obviously has to man up, and talk to his doctor about it. I suspect there are pride and embarrassment issues involved. Maybe some education would help him, once he realizes it is a physical medical condition, and not anything to do with his masculinity. There is a plethora of reliable information on the net---try WebMD, Medscape, or similar. Go to the diabetes association website. There are treatments available, some pharmacological, some mechanical. Help his self esteem over this, and he will likely be more cooperative as a result. Good luck!
    One important point I forgot to remind you, is that sex can be more than penetration, and be just as, or more satisfying.:wink:
     
  6. SereneBlue

    SereneBlue New Member

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    :frown1: I feel so sad whenever I hear stories like this no matter the gender of the person who's frustrated. Especially if their partner is unwilling to pull out all the stops to do something about the problem. It's one thing to have to deal with it when you see your partner making great efforts to improve their health and sex drive/performance. It's another when only minimal effort is invested.

    Every time I start thinking marriage is a good idea I turn around and hear stories like this and it makes me glad I've stayed single. Since I know I couldn't and wouldn't tolerate a sexless or low-sex marriage (I'd file for divorce) staying single is the right choice for me.

    I wish I had an easy answer for the original OP. I suppose you might try taking anti-depressants. A lot of SSRIs are reknown for almost to totally killing people's libido.
     
  7. alimagool

    alimagool New Member

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    water fasting, look it up
     
  8. gunnaknow

    gunnaknow New Member

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    You might have persistant sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS). SereneBlue is correct about SSRI anti-depressants decreasing libido. Some more than others. You could also try sexual transmutation/sublimation through certain yogic, tantric and taoist exercises. By the practice of Siddhasana, Sirshasana, Sarvangasana, Oordhva Padmasana, Mula Bandha, Uddiyana Bandha, Jalandhara Bandha, Maha Mudra, Yoga Mudra, Vajroli mudra, Nauli, etc., a Yogi can transmute their sexual energy into Ojas Shakti.

    Another possibility would be to introduce your partner to libido enhancing exercises, such as kegels, jelqing, Ulis etc, which dramatically increase blood circulation in the area and also have the benefit of increasing penile size, with time. High dose fish oil that is higher in DHA than EPA can also significantly increase libido in both men and women.
     
  9. honeydew

    honeydew New Member

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    Thank you guys for all the responses. Let me see if I can give some feedback. I do take an anti depressent for PMS and it increases my sex drive but I am a BITCH when not on it. I should have mentioned some of his reluctance comes from long term physical and sexual abuse in his past. We both are working on letting him learn that it is okay to touch and want to have sex and be intiment and that it does not have to be abusive or painful. We have been in counseling together way before we even talked about marriage and this is helping tremendously. We also have talked with the DR. on this and he felt after the diabetes was under controll things would improve, not. The drugs(viagra etc did nothing and after the publicity of deafness occurring from the use of these drugs I asked him not to even think about using them.
    I do think I have an constant arousal problem because I think of sex way more during the day than not think of it. So, knowing all this I will look into curbing my end of things until he "heals" more and is able to feel comfortable with everything.
    I do agree on one thing stated, there is more to sex then intercourse ,
    which I have learned through all this.
    HD
     
  10. QuiteOne

    QuiteOne New Member

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    I'm inclined to think that you obsess about sex because you aren't getting it. There are any number of ways you can enjoy sex with your husband that don't involve him penetrating you. I think you may need to move beyond his penis and explore other sexual outlets.
     
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