A Weird Dating Question . . .

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. Principessa

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    A male friend who has been reading dating and realtionship books asked me the following question: When you first meet a guy would you rather he just A) told you all the good things he liked about you, date you for several months, then tell you the things he didn't like and break up OR B) have him say up front what he likes and doesn't like, but say he still wants to date you?

    At first I refused to answer because I thought it was an asinine question; but he kept asking so my response was: "I didn't answer because it's a trick question. He would have to date me for a few months to find out what he didn't like about me." IMO, if he noticed things about me right off that he didn't like then he should never have asked me out.

    In addition any man that approaches me with what he likes and dislikes about me isn't going to get a chance to date me and dump me months down the line. Why would I waste my time on somebody like that? :confused: :12:

    Well folks how would you answer the above question?
     
  2. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

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    what do you mean when you first meet a guy???? how long of knowing each other? im not going to like everything about anyone........useally one should keep their likes and dislikes to themselfs.......untill they get to know the person and see if they are worth keeping......then at that point you bring up the dis-likes.....if i was really into a girl.....say that smoked(heavy chain smoker, lol). i would never get pissed off as much as i think its a turn off. if we started to get some where, that is when i would bring it up. if i was falling in love id ask her to quit......i dont want my cars and house(when i get one) filled with smoke......

    but first date, you smoke, quit or beat it? NEVER!

    ops, sorry.......seems like this was for females. anyway heres a guy's view.
     
  3. Jovial

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    bigdog83, what if she didn't quit and asked, "Then why did you date me in the first place knowing I chain smoked and you didn't like that?"
     
  4. Mr. Snakey

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    I think sometimes all the books and the questions in them sometimes do more harm than good. Your thoughts on this?
     
    #4 Mr. Snakey, Aug 5, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2008
  5. Principessa

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    I agree, which is why I stopped reading them. :cool: Jovial however has less dating experience than I do and has yet to learn this lesson. :tongue:
     
  6. Principessa

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    Anybody can answer, that's cool; :cool: and I'm not just saying that cause I agree with you. :tongue:


    He could tell her the truth. That because there were so many other things about you I liked I was hoping in the long run it wouldn't matter. :rolleyes: :duh: :tongue:
     
  7. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Can you re-word the question lol. It confuses me.
     
  8. Principessa

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    *BUMP*
     
  9. whatireallywant

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    Very true. Most of the books promote gender stereotypes, too. :mad:
     
  10. Mr. Snakey

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    I think books and questions like this may help some people. However for the most part they do more harm then good. In our world today we are labled and told how to think and how we should act and live. So i think it makes it harder for men and women in so many ways.
     
  11. ZOS23xy

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    I approached the woman I married with an open mind and there was nothing that could not be discussed. Were there things to be disliked? Yes, but these factors seemed to be items that could be dealt with on an issue by issue basis. Neither of us knew anything about where we would eventually be. There was a feeling we both had, that we would date and drift apart and find someone new, as we both had been doing.

    "Dumping" someone down the line and knowing it sounds like someone who has patterned the experience of his/her relationships and fully expects it t happen.

    That's my take.
     
  12. Principessa

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    As much as I love the internet, I think the computer age has made things more difficult, rather than less difficult for people to meet and connect.

    So many people meet online, then if they actually meet in person they realize they have to dial it back a notch or two because the internet creates such a false feeling of intimacy. Especially on a site like this. It's odd to meet someone in person for lunch when you have already seen them bareass naked. It's a lot less weird if you don't skip the talking on the phone step which for some reason many people do. When you talk on the phone you can hear emotions and pauses and get more of a feel for who the person really is.
     
  13. TwasBrillig

    TwasBrillig Member

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    I also agree Snakey. I often wonder how many of the people who write Relationship books have actually had a relationship. It reminds me of the definition of a consultant. Some one who knows 100 women but doesn't know how to make love.
     
  14. bigdog83

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    "we are at a diff stage in our relationship.......ive never asked anything of you and would like to take this to the next level but you must quit smoking for me...also its not healthy for you and i care about you".
     
  15. invisibleman

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    WHAT if the person who was the wrong person for you was actually THE right person?
     
  16. rockgoddess

    rockgoddess New Member

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    You're absolutely right about that being a trick question. Either way you lose, it's just assessing which way you'd like to be rejected. That's supposed to help people with relationships?
     
  17. OPPinSLC

    OPPinSLC Member

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    I agree, that kind of question should have been saved until after marriage
     
  18. Jovial

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    It's all well and good to accept some bad qualities and hope that they don't matter, but you must admit that this is open to abuse. I'm talking about people that string their partners along by never admitting that they ultimately don't want to marry them and not telling them the reasons for that.
     
  19. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    I prefer being immediatly honest, so I pick option B.

    Anyway, a woman has to be always treated with absolute respect, so to tell her what I dislike, I'd take any possible care, and speak with my heart.

    I am sure she would understnd, and possibly tell me her dislikes so that we can work on them togeter.
     
  20. Principessa

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    Because lots of people quit smoking, get rid of cats or dogs and other things to please a lover.


    I think you are right. At some point you have to put the books down and mingle in society without a script.
     
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