A woman's "first time" with a man.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by benderten2001, Jan 24, 2004.

  1. benderten2001

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    With the growing popularity around here recently of asking our women questions we never could ask personally--here's one I have often thought about:

    (I can't remember if it has EVER came up here in the forum before)

    Ladies, the very first time you actually touched, handled, or otherwise came in contact with a man's penis---what in the world did you think?

    Were you surprised at its "texture", the degree of erection hardness (or lack thereof for larger sizes), ....

    Did you fear you might "break it" when erect ? ;D

    Were you shocked or surprised, perhaps that it was not at all like you expected...were you taken aback in any way (from what you had imagined a penis would feel like) or would be like in touching it?

    What degree of "not knowing what to do with it" as in various techniques would you admit to (i.e. fellatio) ?

    Did you feel the least bit ackward or "ill at ease" the first time handling a man "down there"?

    I can only imagine what you ladies expected before hand; or had heard about earlier in life perhaps from other women as to what you could anticipate, or--if you had any pre-conceived ideas at all about a man's penis...before you found out personally for yourself.

    I think many of us guys here would be interested to read your responses. We'll probably be amused, too, but we promise not to laugh too awfully much! ;)

    Thanks.
     
  2. Imported

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    wvalady1968: I honestly do wait for other women to jump in on these questions.........

    Bender, I was probably a big disappointment. I was 19 and had the book knowledge, but the furthest I'd gone was above the waist petting. [Hey, this is the Bible Belt, ya know!]

    The lights were out, and even for ages afterwards, I tried not to look for fear it was rude. I do remember being pleasantly surprised by the warmth and softness of the skin.

    And I did nothing with it per se. I was really very passive. Wow. It's funny. I haven't thought about that in forever, and I'd never analyzed it from today's perspective. Hmmmmm.
     
  3. HungArnold

    HungArnold New Member

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    Wvalady,

    Is the bible belt very prudish when it comes to sex or is that just a myth. Personnally, I have always thought that the towns of the south were something like Peyton Place where nothing is what it appears to be.
     
  4. Imported

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    wvalady1968: [quote author=HungArnold link=board=women;num=1074974831;start=0#2 date=01/24/04 at 18:46:06]Wvalady,

    Is the bible belt very prudish when it comes to sex or is that just a myth.  Personnally, I have always thought that the towns of the south were something like Peyton Place where nothing is what it appears to be.[/quote]

    You know, "prudish" has negative connotations. All too often it's associated with being frigid or stern, unloving.

    Every town, everywhere has a Peyton Place aspect. The difference is the way the individuals are raised. I was taught that it was a matter of respecting myself.

    It took me a while to learn that lesson. I made some mistakes along the way.
     
  5. Imported

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    roedhunt: Growing up with two older sisters, I have always been fascinated with the opposite sex. Ever since I can remember, I wanted boys around me. Watching their "manly" ways... hahah ;D When I was about 13 or 14, I had two guy friends, and one evening we paid truth or dare. Jose' knew what he wanted, but I hadn't a clue. He wanted to touch me, so I let him. It was surprisingly nice as he was very gentle. When it came to my turn, I just wanted to see it. He sat on the floor of the garage with his legs wide open, and since it was getting dark, I strained my eyes.. Couldn’t see shit..

    My "first".... hmmm. Can't remember how we met, but I was 15. Went over to his house.. his mother was out. He started going down on me. Now a finger was one thing.. but a MOUTH? I was appalled...I mean, that’s where I PEED! Anyway, instead of feeling good, it was only wet and slimy. We had sex and unlike what I was always told by friends, it didn’t hurt... Of course, now I know why... The next time we were in his car and we parked. He took out his dick and led my face to it.

    What the hell was I supposed to do? Here is the tip of a dick (still couldn’t see it), pressed upon my face.. He said suck it.. I said what? How? He told me how, but said to stroke it first... He realized I was a virgin in every sense of the word....It felt weird. The skin on it was so loose on a stiff muscle. I thought something was wrong with it. It was deformed or something... The skin kept sliding of it! I asked him if that was normal.. After he stopped laughing, he said yes... continue.. Good thing it was dark, because my face was scrunched up in disgust. And I was supposed to put THAT in my mouth??? Not to mention it had a strange smell. But soon I had fun. Up down, he didn’t mind until I started stretching the skin off it.. Hey, I just wanted to see how far off his dick it would go...

    He said ok. Enough. Time for a blowjob. I did poorly, so he thought he could help, but instead he shoved it down my throat. Well, my throat reflexes took over and... yup.. I threw up... I was soooo embarrassed.. :-[

    We did try again. And again. hahah I did get better... And since that time, I've prided myself in being the best.. haha Actually, its what I've been told... I just take their word....

    Oh BTW, I have seen one... hahahahah :D
     
  6. benderten2001

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    First, thanks to those who have responded thusfar.
    I really thought this question might yield some interesting responses! (I really did!).

    roedhunt's comments about the "loose skin over muscle" reminded me of how this question most likely (and I think) did originate in my mind to begin with.

    Several years ago now, actress Fran Drescher (star of American TV's "The Nanny" was a guest on the Tonight Show witih Jay Leno. A conversation was underway about the wierd story lines Ms. Dresher had to contend with in her TV series. She mentioned a fear of snakes and how in one episode, she had to physically touch and handle a snake! Leno asked her how she ever came to actually make herself even touch a snake, then--given her great fear of them. She remarked: "oh, you know--it really wasn't THAT bad, really....kinda reminded me of handling my husband's erect penis!" Leno quipped: "Oh! --well then, I certainly hope we're talking about a cobra here". I laughed (along with all of America, of course) but it got me to thinking indeed just what DO women think when they first hold and touch a man?

    Much later on, I myself had occasion to pick up a (dying) snake as I was doing yard work one day, and I could "feel" the similarity to what Ms. Dreshcer spoke of that night. At the time, I thought she had described things pretty well.
     
  7. jonb

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    LOL If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure it was his first too. I have some of my own stories about fucking up, pun intended, but this is the ladies' first time stories.
     
  8. Imported

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    gicast: [quote author=benderten2001 l

    "Ladies, the very first time you actually touched, handled, or otherwise came in contact with a man's penis---what in the world did you think?"

       Speechless, or thoughtless?  Then I smiled. Then I was like, 'OH, this won't work.'  But very curious.

    "Were you surprised at its "texture", the degree of erection hardness (or lack thereof for larger sizes), ...."

        I was amazed that it was so smooth, and silky. but felt so incredibly hard. I LOVED the head.  

    "Did you fear you might "break it" when erect ?   ;D"

       Not at all, just thought I might hurt him, somehow.

    "Were you shocked or surprised, perhaps that it was not at all like you expected...were you taken aback in any way (from what you had imagined a penis would feel like) or would be like in touching it?"

        I too was raised in the bible belt, in an extremely religious household. So I thought I would have a different reaction than I did. (BTW, I WAS a prude-- 21 year old virgin) I was shocked by MY reaction. I wanted to feel it in my mouth! (very shocking to a straight-laced gal who had been told that was taboo) It felt awesome and very natural for me to taste it, lick it and touch it. It was a very powerful feeling to watch his reaction.

    "What degree of "not knowing what to do with it" as in various techniques would you admit to (i.e. fellatio) ?"

       Well, I didn't really know what to do, or how to do ANYTHING. I just tried it. I believe we were in a car, he was driving. and I grabbed him and said, "let me see." Then I held it and sat there wondering what to do, So I put it in my mouth. and kept asking him if he liked it,or if I was hurting him. He had to point out the best places and whether to do it softer or harder, etc. I know I hurt him several times. but he was cool about it. Told me I'd learn quick-which I did.

    "Did you feel the least bit ackward or "ill at ease" the first time handling a man "down there"?"

           NO, I surprised myself, totally that I was eager.


    "I can only imagine what you ladies expected before hand; or had heard about earlier in life perhaps from other women as to what you could anticipate, or--if you had any pre-conceived ideas at all about a man's penis...before you found out personally for yourself. "

         Believe it or not, my mom told me I would like it. and Would have fun with it. (Wierd))) But I had thought that oral sex was wrong. Gross, demeaning. I remember thinking (when I saw ballet dancers, etc. in their tights) how gross guys were. I also had three brothers growing up. and thought boys in general were stupid. Not that I saw their grown up penis'!!! :D
     
  9. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: I suppose my "take home" messege is, be patient, be gentle, and don't freak if she does! :D
     
  10. GottaBigOne

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    I remember the first time my gf saw my dick (the first dick she ever saw in person) she laughed. I know she wasn't laughing because she thought it was small, im not stupid, she was just very nervous.

    The first time she blew me she made me put a pillowcase on my head so I couldn't see her. Now she tries to shove it as deep down her throat as possible. still have an inch to go though.

    We'll keep trying.
     
  11. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

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    One of my final posts for a while & I'm resurrecting a very old thread.

    I had no idea what to expect my first time, as i had only seen my tiny baby brother's. I recall I that i did not really know that an adult one would become hard. My first time, I just assumed a postion on my back w/ legs out & thought it would go right in. Neither of us had been informed really about the functions of foreplay & such. So, we had no lube on us, but we were eager, so we both were in alot of pain for 2 weeks, and then, I came down with a UTI also known as 'bride's disease' & thankfully my husband's peditrician (the only doc who would see me on short notice) told us about KY jelly. I did not know that women could have any pleasure from sex, until i read it in some bride's magazine a couple months before wedding. No explanation of what happens,etc. just that a woman's pleasurable reaction was called an orgasm.

    I, too, was brought up in the Bible belt & kept on a very short tether & had never even heard the word/s "rubbers or condoms' until shortly before marrying & my younger sister said the word & told me what they were. For birth control, my Mom took me to the GYn & told me to ask to be fitted for a diaphrgm & the GYn explained the funciton & insertion of that to me along with a couple other things.And still! No instruction about sex or making love from anyone or anywhere at all, except just the basic-this is how you make babies!

    I never even heard of oral sex or anal sex & not just those words. I had no idea or any way of knowing that folks pleasured one another in that way.

    I was very nervous & it took 3 days to get the head in & the 2nd man I was with (my present SO-a well-endowed man) was the same story & with the bleeding, too.
    My ex & I learned everything from each other. While we were one another's firsts, he had more knowledge from schoolboy/friend's talk over the years. He was the one that informed me about oral a few years after we were married. It took me probably two years before I allowed him to perform oral & much longer for me to do the same to him. Yes, I was tuaght that area was dirty & not to be touched. Heck, I was even told by my mom that it would be wrong/disturb/make me itch horribly down there to wash my genitals. It must have been a prevalent teaching here in my area of the south because about 10 years after I was married, i went to that old GYN with a yeast infection & read a notice in the patient's bathroom debunking this commonly taught myth. I remarked to the GYN that I wish someone had placed that note in the bathroom & many other kinds of hlepful notes in the bathroom many years ago.

    Well, now, many years later (I;'m in my '40's & divorced) & have a more knowledgeable partner/SO and have heard & learned many things from him, and just this past Saturday had something else related to se explained to me by him. He has remarked several times at how shocked he was to find someone so uninformed/sheltered & 'born under a rock'. Believe me, he is right by my side when we visit a bar/club/concert, etc. together were there is crowd of men, as I have always been taught to be nice & chat with everyone, and will do so.

    At times, I feel so out of step and am just now finding out about alot of things in the world here as an older & single woman.
     
  12. ItsJustMe

    ItsJustMe New Member

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    The first time I ever saw one in person I was 23 and it was while dating my soon-to-be-ex husband. I thought he was huge since I had nothing to compare it too (in reality he was a bit larger than average). Otherwise it looked like what I expected.

    I didn't touch it and didn't expect it to break. Sex for the first time was incredibly painful and I bled for several days afterwards.
     
  13. Imported

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    petite_asianbabe: In the asian culture sex is not talked about at all in the home. Since I was born in the US my knowledge of sex was acquired from school, TV, magazines, romance novels, and girlfriends.

    My first time seeing a penis was with my first boyfriend and my thoughts ranged from curiosity (how can a soft thing turn into something so hard just thru kissing, and why does he have all this extra skin that isn't in the magazines, turns out he wasn't circumcised) to being grossed out (he pees out of it too and thats inserted into my vagina?!) I didn't really get a good look at it until we were close to having sex for the first time ever. It was fun exploring it thru touching.

    With my 2nd bf it was a completely different experience. He was circumcised so his head was extremely soft and velvety, almost cute. I was amazed at his size (I think 10") and wondered if it hurt to be so big.
     
  14. OldLady

    OldLady New Member

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    Just found this site tonight and this is my first post. Found this via a site for gay men. (Probably a long story, but never mind for now.) I'll have a lot of thoughts on everything.

    My first time coming into contact with a penis, my "friend" coerced me into it. It was in his car in a very dark park and I really couldn't even see it, it was so dark. Eventually he had me blow him and I did; straight contact with my mouth, no hands. I just thought it was smelly and tasted yucky and I was trying not to gag on it. I really didn't know what to expect as I've never even seen a picture before, but it was weird realizing how stiff it is, but warm and squishy on the outside (the foreskin; not cut).

    The first time we had actual sex, I still didn't have a good look at it, we were in the dark and there was some foreplay and whatever, but I was pretty passive and nervous. When he put it in, it hurt a heck of a lot and we didn't finish that way. He had me blow him again, instead.

    Basically I had no idea what to expect about the penis. Until him, I had no clue about sex or anatomy really except extremely vague references. I didn't even know what a penis was shaped like, what an erection was, ejaculation, or anything. When confronted (and that's the only word I can think of right now) with a penis in my face (literally) the whole idea, everything was just shocking. Maybe some fear as well as horror at not knowing what to expect or do with it. He taught me everything I knew. I didn't know sex meant he put it between my legs and didn't know what oral sex was. He said I learned quick enough. To tell you the truth, though, it freaked me out more for him to go down on me, than for me to go down on him.

    I never had any worries about it breaking, this was never a thing I even thought was possible until I had my biggest guy some years later who had a bent penis. I also didn't know that "size" was an issue. The first guy, the one who taught me everything, I didn't realize till later was probably considered small until sometimes he made some comments about feeling self-conscious over his size. I'm guessing he was probably about 5", but since I'm pretty small myself, that seemed fine. Then later I found out guys came bigger. Really! Heh. I learned something new again.
     
  15. feelsblind

    feelsblind New Member

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    The first time I ever touched a penis, I was so suprised at how soft it was. He was uncircumsized and the foreskin was like baby skin. I was mesmeroized (sp?) by it. Haha.
     
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